Keep getting hassled about taking on a dog

[Lazym]

Hi my besties husbands dad has vascular dementia and his partner is his carer. Last year she got two puppies but now is finding having two a strain on her and bank balance with also having to care for him. I had my dog put to sleep in Oct over ongoing health issues which put a huge strain on me mentally and financially and I vowed never to have another dog or even a pet again which still stands. Basically I keep getting messages and pictures of one of the pups to try and get me to take one on. I've made it clear I don't want to but they're still persisting. How do I make it clear that no means no without blowing a gasket as I've already said no about 20 times already but they're still sending pics. Aibu for wanting them to respect my answer and stop with the pics?

I would do this. No other comment, just a link to a rescue.

Yes, in a nutshell. She's my friends husbands dad's partner/carer and owns the dogs. I've met her twice in 8 years.

@AlisonDonut

yrs she did, it was perfectly clear who 'she' was

@Lazym your Bestie isn't acting much like one! Explain to her that you found losing your dog incredibly painful, in case she hadn't noticed! And that you don't think you'll ever have another pet as you don't want to go through that again. Tell her if she thinks having this pup will help you, it won't, you can't replace your dog like that. Tell her you feel for the situation her DH's Dads partner is in, but you can't help other than to suggest she contacts the breeder & breed recues. Failing that other reputable rescues
and definitely NOT to sell on gumtree etc.

what breed is it?

“If you keep sending these puppy pics I’m going to have to block you - don’t want to fall out over this.”

So why can't your bf take one then?

Surely sending one of the suggested messages about the pictures being upsetting and you not wanting to replace your Ddog (really sorry for your loss btw ) is the answer here? It would be shockingly insensitive and selfish for her to continue after hearing that and any decent friend would respond with profuse apologies and an immediate stop to the messages. Is there some reason you think your friend will react differently?

They are probably really panicking about a situation which is deteriorating and they want to find a fast fix. That’s you. Be kind but gentle.

I would suggest The Cinnamon Trust as a useful contact because they will be able to advise and possibly home the pup while maintaining some contact.

Then sign off with a sentence about it being a very hard time and happy to be here for you but sadly it’s a hard no to the dog.

I've told her I couldn't ever chance having another dog with the same condition (epilepsy), chances are slim I know but....and the distress of taking him to be put to sleep, the cost etc but it's falling on deaf ears. This little dog could never replace my dog. To add insult to injury this pup is a shihtzu as was mine.

She has 3 already and can't handle a 4th which is understandable BUT the ironic thing is I accept her reason for not wanting the dog, so why can't she accept mine and leave it be? I've still been sent messages and videos since thread started but not commented or watched anymore.

Its not really making a difference how many times I say no, I think I'll only be heard if I lose my rag and then they'll be a fallout. I think they're just thinking if they keep at it they'll wear me down.

Mute notifications from them and don’t check for any new messages from them for at least a week. If they call and have the cheek to ask why, tell them you obviously find it distressing to be deluged in photos of a dog similar to your late dog. Or just keep replying ‘please stop.’
I’d block the number, personally, she sounds annoying as fuck.

Very very selfish and disrespectful of her to not accept No from you.

Not muchbof a friend is she thinks she can harass you into saying yes.

Stop replying and have a think about this friendship.

Agree with this.

She's no friend.

This woman is most certainly not your "bestie." She's fucking horrible. Tell her very clearly to stop or you will be forced to block her. Do you really not see that this is totally unacceptable behaviour? No real friend would ever dream of harassing you like this.

I would reply and say 'Hi x. Please stop sending me these. I don't want another dog and I will not change my mind. I'm finding the pictures and videos upsetting. I don't want to fall out or have to block your number but I'm not willing to receive any more messages, pictures or videos. Please don't make this anymore awkward than it already is'.

I think your first paragraph sums it up perfectly!

This.
Non- confrontational, polite but firm.

Stand firm. Keep saying “No”. Dogs are a tie. I’ve had a dog all my life. I vow once this one has gone I won’t get another. I love dogs but now my family have all moved out it’s time for me to come and go as I like, without being tied to seeing to the needs of a dog. I love her. She’s my best friend and has been for 10 years. Once she’s gone there won’t be another.

Plus it’s not fair on the dog for you to take it on when you don’t really want it.

Get rehoming info from your local shelter and send it to her

Are they WhatsApp messages on a separate 'puppy' conversation?

If so you can archive that chat and so it won't even pop up with notifications. Means you don't have to block her -why do mumsnetters think this is a viable option to your bestie?

Send her a message; "I am NOT going to take on your unwanted dog. The responsible thing is for you to hand over the dogs to a rescue charity for rehoming.

If you pester me again I will inform the RSPCA .

I've typed a message not sent yet - " please stop sending these things, I'M NOT having him, end of. My dog wasn't her problem and her dogs are not my problem. I've respected your decision on why you can't take him, please respect mine."

That's going to cause a fallout I think. Maybe just "please stop sending these things, I'M NOT having him, end of. please respect my decision"

That's an end to the friendship.
I'd say I know you want him in a good home but I can't do it this is rehoming info for........shelter you can pay for care until they find a good home. I'm getting quiet emotional about the loss of my ......dog...and I don't want ever to go through it again please if you care about my feelings stop