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[SarahLucSc]

I work in education. Towards the end of half term I became ill with what turned out to be strep throat and ended up being off work for the the majority of last week. I went in briefly on Friday as I needed to authorize something that can’t be done from home.

Had to pop into the school office whilst I was there and one of the office ladies gave a tinkly laugh and said ‘Oh I’m always suspicious when someone is off ill straight after a school holiday’. I just gawped at her and she followed up with ‘We should check if your children were in school this week’ and another tinkly laugh.

I was not myself and just stared at her before walking off - what would you have said in this situation, wise mumsnetters,
had you had your wits about you?

(for info, I am very much her senior in terms of work higerarchy, she’s worked at the school forever and has form for these kind of passive aggressive comments)

@OwlRightThen it doesn't. Which is why it doesn't actually happen. The Head deals with it just like any other absence. I never had to bring a sick note in , regardless of the day when it happened.

So what though?

If I knew I was ill I wouldn't care what a recptionist/headteacher/bin man/my next door neighbour thought or said about it.

The only reason id start being annoyed with someone about this was if I actually was pulling a sickie and embarrassed about being caught out!

Just let it go.

I'd have taken it as the joke it was likely intended to be and move on with my life tbh.

That's why people who work in schools have to provide a drs sick note if they are off sick on the day before or the day returning from a holiday

We had to do this when I worked in a school.

Drs don't provide sicknotes for one day of sickness so how does that possibly work?

Drs will if you explain why. Many charge though but the schools I knew would reimburse you.

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus why are you assuming that all schools work the same?

I'm dealing with a similar situation at the moment. Woman from admin making sly comments about me in front of my learners. There's one everywhere. Problem is, their not having a filter is always the get out of jail card, where the rest of us are meant to put up with it.

I had a colleague moan when I used my Flex Time to leave early ‘I’ve been i since 7.30am…’ I turned round and said ‘wow, I wish I was you!’ as sarcasticayad possible.

Why did you take this personally though?

I don't get why you'd think anything of that comment at all?

“I think I’d avoid saying things like that to other colleagues, you know. Medical absences can be really sensitive so it’s best not to joke about them.”

This would be a word with her line manager for me. It’s made you uncomfortable, it’s a passive aggressive ‘joke’ and she shouldn’t have said it. You’ve said she has form and you’ve said you are SLT. So you have the power to challenge this whereas young colleagues do not.

I feel it’s up to more senior staff to protect others and no one needs to be made to worry when they’ve been ill. It can be handled sensitively and in an adult way but it’s little ‘jokes’ like this that can turn workplaces toxic.

Because it was I. Response sue to
mr leaving early. I said ‘I’m going now, using up flexi’ so the team knew where I was and he came out with ‘Alright for some just going when they feel like it, I’ve been here since 7.30!’

@BashfulClam but that's just a joke! Presumably if you're on the same team, he knows you have the ability to take flex rather than just saunter off when you feel like it. Plus, he would have the same ability to take flexi time if he'd wanted to?!

Think you read too much into it tbh.

It wasn’t a joke, I worked with him and he just liked to moan about anything anyone else did. I know him, I was there!

Its not a joke, it’s implying the OP pulled a sickie.

Yeah my point is that then it should be water off a duck's back!! Let him moan away, you know it's not personal, he's just a whinger.

It probably was a joke
But it was a crap joke and pointless
I would have glared through her and walked off

I just don't get why you have to create bad feeling when it's just a crap joke. No one is going to feel anything other than awkward if you respond with something sharp.

People like that know exactly what they're doing and rely on other people playing along and not making it awkward.
All the little underhanded comments can stick and it's also a bit of a power play, which is ok if you want people talking shit about you and zero respect, but if you don't then you can gently put these people back in their box by asking them to clarify what they mean when they make passive aggressive comments, this will help to clear up any 'misunderstanding' and let them know you won't be entertaining their nonsense.

I disagree, I don't think it's that deep. A day of small talk in the office (all day every day) means people rely on tropes and old jokes to pass the time. I don't think the world is as full of people looking to offend as MN believes.

Seriously? You would escalate a mildly irritating passive aggressive joke to her line manager? Honestly this is the equivalent of children bickering in primary school and needing the teacher to sort it out. I do wonder what world some people live in. The line manager does not need to be subjected to something this petty.

Two options

1. tinkly laugh and trill "oh if i was off on a skive i'd leave the kids at school!" Then flounce out
2. give a dramatic hacking cough at them and splutter "of course I'm still infectious but i had to come in.