To ask for a better response to this comment?

[SarahLucSc]

I work in education. Towards the end of half term I became ill with what turned out to be strep throat and ended up being off work for the the majority of last week. I went in briefly on Friday as I needed to authorize something that can’t be done from home.

Had to pop into the school office whilst I was there and one of the office ladies gave a tinkly laugh and said ‘Oh I’m always suspicious when someone is off ill straight after a school holiday’. I just gawped at her and she followed up with ‘We should check if your children were in school this week’ and another tinkly laugh.

I was not myself and just stared at her before walking off - what would you have said in this situation, wise mumsnetters,
had you had your wits about you?

(for info, I am very much her senior in terms of work higerarchy, she’s worked at the school forever and has form for these kind of passive aggressive comments)

I think OP means she is part of the Senior Leadership Team.

thanks @AngryGreasedSantaCatcus
google has just told me that,
forgive my ignorance, but what is a senior leader?

Unless you're SBM or the HT, you shouldn't have access to personnel records at all. And she wouldn't need to have any 'inside' knowledge of staff sickness to see that you were off.

Head, deputy head, assistant deputy head, SENCO along those kind of lines. Different schools might structure it slightly differently.

If you are senior to her, it might be worth a conversation at some point about appropriate interactions with her colleagues. Or maybe have a word with her line manager?

This. Absolutely pointless to engage further & gives her time & space she doesn't warrant.

Direct eye contact. Big smile.
"I'm sorry. My hearing is awful. I didn't quite catch that. Could you say it again a bit louder?"

They usually shit themselves and get very flustered when forced to repeat it.

She sounds likes a dick. I would keep asking her to clarify as well.

But it can’t be a surprise these attitudes are really prevalent among school staff.

You're right OP. Apologies for starting a thread about it. We are the ones who are thinking about it too much.

We have someone like that at our school. Has form for checking with the staff attendance officer if people have put a slip in to leave early. Commenting on peoples finishing times even though she has a very bespoke working week!!

Trouble is when you’re like this all the time it gets boring and twice recently she has said the wrong thing to the wrong person. She challenged someone (not her job to do this) who had received a phone call to go to a dying relative- stopped him when he was leaving!! The other time as she is part time she hadn’t seen that someone had made the time up during the week as she is part time. It wasn’t a sensitive reason but nothing different to any other work place.

It really is better to find something else to joke about!!

thank you @AngryGreasedSantaCatcus

Even if it was meant as a joke it can lead to bed feeling with colleagues because 'many a true word is said in jest'.
A colleague once joked about me spending time working with a male colleague implying we were having an affair. I explained that the comment was unacceptable as I was happily married and it could cause trouble (ie I know you're joking, but...)
In this situation I would have been blunt and asked straight out if she thought I was skiving. I never let things like this slide at work, especially if it's said in front of other colleagues

ODFOD sarcasm is never a good look.

OP I also work in a school and completely get this. Thankfully our office staff are fabulous, but I once had another member of staff make a similar comment passive aggressively when I was off on a Monday. I was only off one day, as like most school staff we run back when we're still not great ( I'd been in bed all weekend and needed that one day to feel semi-normal). She implied I'd had a heavy weekend partying. I gave a hard stare and said that whilst I loved my bed usually it wasn't attractive enough to make me send my OH to his birthday celebrations without me on purpose and did she need photographic evidence of said bed. She shuffled off.

It wasn't a joke by this woman. I'd mention to her quietly that you don't appreciate her even referring to your absence, it's personal and could have been any number of things.

My friend had comments from a male member of staff about how often she had been off in recent weeks. She was upset and I had to quietly tell him she'd had an ectopic pregnancy. I couldn't have been nicer, which made his squirming all the more satisfying. Prick.

Shrug it off. You must know perfectly well that each class will be missing a high number of pupils on the last and/or the first day back at school, half will have just "called sick".

Some people will comment, others won't. Not really a massive issue.

Absolutely agree.

This. Plus it places unrealistic expectations on the person coming back too, all bright eyed and bushy tailed ,well rested and ready to give 200%.

At a previous workplace, communication was so dire that a lot of the staff and service users thought I had been on holiday for two weeks. So I came back to lots of questions of where did I go, did I have a nice time, was it lovely, some snark /jealousy/resentment and the expectation to hit the ground running . I was off because I had surgery and still wasn't 100% when I came back.

If the OP has a go at the replies, I think it's fine to reply back *shrug

I would have said . Well you got to do what you got to do and I need to concentrate on getting better!

No response is also a response. I think a lot a snarky comments are passed on under the garb of sense of humor.

Dd had a dentist emergency appointment and I informed the school and brought her back in school right after the appointment. The head stopped her and said well what happened to your tooth? To which dd explained and the head said ... suspicious I never heard of an emergency dental appointment. Now in our defense we have a 100 percent attendance, no late marks etc so this comment was completely unwarranted.

To which dd explained and the head said ... suspicious I never heard of an emergency dental appointment.

knowing how many primary school children do have emergency dental appointments following bad falls on the playgrounds or smashing their face in a door...

Ask her if she’s had a change of role, a promotion ? and she’s now managing sickness.
Unfortunately these people walk amongst us and there’s one in every office the length and breadth of this land.

That's why people who work in schools have to provide a drs sick note if they are off sick on the day before or the day returning from a holiday.

Sometimes I find saying "I beg your pardon??" works a treat. Cue frantic back-pedalling from them while they try to dig themselves out of the hole they just dug for themselves.

not just in school... Monday "sickness" is a thing everywhere

What a busybody! I agree with the posters who said ask directly and coldly what she means by her comment - is she implying your sickness was not genuine. I'd also be tempted to add why she thought it was her business anyway. People like this aren't uncommon in workplaces unfortunately. When I was at school I had to have a series of injectable medication over a course of several weeks, once a week at the GP surgery. My parents wrote to the head teacher as it would mean I would be slightly late (15 mins) that day and would miss registration. Head teacher gave permission and said I could sign in at the secretary's office when I arrived to record my attendance. I had to fill in an entry each time and put "doctor's appointment" as the reason. After the first couple of times the secretary started to make sarcastic remarks about my "doctor's appointments" implying she thought it was made up. I said nothing much in response - I was quite anxious about my condition and didn't want to keep explaining it to different people especially those who didn't need to know the details. I expect she went tattling to the head and was put in her place as she stopped commenting after a while but would still roll her eyes and tut when I arrived to sign in.

Drs don't provide sicknotes for one day of sickness so how does that possibly work?