At rock bottom with struggling to conceive

[cinderellaman]

I am now coming into month 7 of ttc with one healthy and one blocked fallopian tube. I've had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy and apparently have no issues other than the one blocked tube. I've been told that natural conception is extremely likely as you only need one tube and the other tube won't make much difference.

Prior to my laparoscopy I'd been trying for a year but apparently I wouldn't have conceived during this time due to the location of my ovaries. My ovaries are now in the correct position after the surgery.

I'm mentally at rock bottom as I cannot see myself conceiving naturally and with each month that goes by I feel more and more hopeless. I'm consumed with this unbelievable immense sadness and sense of hollowness that I can't budge.

Am I being unreasonable or do I need to accept I'm likely to continue to struggle to conceive without Ivf?

Are you doing ovulation tests?

Sympathy OP. How old are you?

I could have written this four-years ago. I felt utterly hopeless and distraught trying for a baby.

Like you, I had a laproscopy , but for endometriosis. I hope you don't mind my sharing my experience and the rationale behind my decision making.

After the surgery, I was told that I should be able to conceive naturally. Unfortunately, at that point, my mental health was too fragile to "try and see". I needed to do something proactive and different.

My consultant post-surgery told me that I would likely have success with IVF, so I went with that and have two children from that one round.

IVF was emotionally and physically hard, but I didn't find it any harder than trying every single month with no result.

Good luck with your next steps and I hope everything works out for you. Try to take care of yourself as best you can and remember you are precious and worthwhile with or without children.

My consultant also said to me the vast majority of women who want children will end up with them one way or another even if the road to get them is very tough. I found that very comforting.

I was trying to convince for 2 years and 8 months. Same as you I had a blocked fallopian tube but also low egg reserves and a bicornuate uterus. I was told I could conceive naturally but it was unlikely to happen and I would need a few rounds of IVF as there was only a 30% chance of it working first time. One month before beginning IVF I found out I was pregnant and our baby is due in August.

@2kids2catsnolife

Yeah I've been doing ovulation tests right from the beginning 😞

@idliketogetdownnow

I'm 30

7 months isn't long. You need to have been trying for 12 months before you're even considered infertile. So I'd not say you're suffering from infertility yet.

Why did they say your ovaries were in the incorrect position?

Who did your laparoscopy, were they experienced in endometriosis?

I don't have a positive story (5 years TTC, failed IVFs, starting a new round soon), but I wanted to send you hugs! I know how hard and consuming the whole thing is. There is nothing unreasonable about feeling the way you do!

@MissEDashwood19

So sorry to hear you have been through the same - it really is an indescribable feeling that only those who have been through can truly understand ☹️

Congratulations on your children - im so pleased it worked out for you eventually.

My consultant has actually refused to discuss ivf with me as they're so positive I won't have a problem!! I've been told not to even attempt to pursue ivf for at least another year minimum! This really upset me but I decided they know best and I should just follow their advice. It is just getting harder and harder each day knowing that I'm still not pregnant and it concerns me that my surgery wasn't even done correctly! It's ridiculous. I want to have faith that I will conceive naturally but it just seems impossible and, like you, I don't think mentally I can take another month of this. The amount of times I've literally cried through sex thinking this is completely pointless is a joke.

The temptation to go for private ivf is so strong but I cannot afford it and I worry about jeopardising any possible nhs treatment. I dread to think how long the nhs waiting list is, I just can't go on like this. I don't even remember who I used to be before all of this.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, sorry I've completely offloaded on to you now 😂 I genuinely am so pleased it worked out for you, im just so sorry for all the hurt along the way ♥️

Is it worth your DH having some checks done on his sperm? Just to make sure you have a full picture of what’s going on.

How have you been tracking ovulation? Some methods only tell you when you’re actually ovulating with no build up, I found tracking LH levels, one that lets you get a reading that it plotted on a graph to be the most useful.

@Justdancinginthedark

This gives me hope - thank you.

Congratulations - so pleased you did get pregnant naturally ♥️♥️

@mrscheema

I've been trying for 1 year and 7 months. 1 year pre surgery, 7 months post ☹️

Oh sorry I didn't realise you'd already been trying for 1 year prior.
I was thinking 7 months wasnt long at all.

Infertility is such an underplayed pain. It's awful.

@Decaffe

They were stuck with adhesions to my uterus. Histology confirmed no endometriosis. They're the top surgeon in my area with a lot of experience. I really did do my homework before going with them 😞

@Mistymist

Thank you so much. I really hope you get good news soon ♥️

Has your partner had any tests?

@PinkPlantCase

Yes this is next to do - he keeps pushing for it but I feel guilty as I feel like it's me whose let him down.

Tracking ovulation for almost two years - I started tracking it before starting ttc (before I even knew I had a problem) as I was curious to the pattern.

@mrscheema

It's ok, I wasn't very clear in my post.

I have nobody in real life either who has experienced it, not that I can talk to anyone other than my husband, my best friend has been incredibly insensitive too which has closed me off to further contact.

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

Not yet, this is next. ☹️

I’ve been ttc for 5.5yrs. The pain is indescribable. Every pregnancy announcement just kills me. I’ve lost so many friends along the way who have gone on to have their children and I’m left behind. I’m currently on stims for egg collection #4 next week. I won’t lie, I’ve felt suicidal many times during all of this. My first ivf ended in a miscarriage. I feel genuinely terrified of how this cycle will turn out. I’m 37, age isn’t on my side and the cost is spiralling out of control.

Just keep talking to people. I really recommend Fertility Network, its a great resource. I talk to a lot on women on there in a similar situation. MN can make you feel awful unless you hide certain threads. I feel like total shit when I see some peoples posts. It can really help to find you aren’t so alone x

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. My second took 9 months and by 6 I was beside myself even tho I knew that its not that long according to the docs. I can't help you with advice as I didn't have any blocked tubes but I just wanted to give you a hand hold as I know how it feels when it takes so long. You'll get there. I tried SMEP after 8 months and fell on the 9th but could be a coincidence . Good luck OP

Oh sorry I've seen now a year and 7 months so my story doesn't compare. Still, sending you lots of luck etc x

I tried for pretty much 4 years, 2 miscarriages later and my angel daughter is sleeping in the next room. It happened when I didn't expect it, I know 7 months is a long time but once it happens you'll forget all the waiting. Try to not let it be your only focus, I know it's hard. If they say it's likely to happen naturally that's really positive, I don't think I'd consider IVF until you'd be trying for a year or two. Sending love x

So many people suffer with infertility. People still don't talk about it so it can be an isolating experience