At rock bottom with struggling to conceive

[cinderellaman]

I am now coming into month 7 of ttc with one healthy and one blocked fallopian tube. I've had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy and apparently have no issues other than the one blocked tube. I've been told that natural conception is extremely likely as you only need one tube and the other tube won't make much difference.

Prior to my laparoscopy I'd been trying for a year but apparently I wouldn't have conceived during this time due to the location of my ovaries. My ovaries are now in the correct position after the surgery.

I'm mentally at rock bottom as I cannot see myself conceiving naturally and with each month that goes by I feel more and more hopeless. I'm consumed with this unbelievable immense sadness and sense of hollowness that I can't budge.

Am I being unreasonable or do I need to accept I'm likely to continue to struggle to conceive without Ivf?

Someone in my work got married on December 25th and is 24 weeks pregnant.

I can handle pregnancy announcements but every now and again one just hurts. 2 weeks of marriage and they have what you can never have

@mrscheema

It's just so unfair.

A colleague of mine smoked, drank and did drugs throughout her entire pregnancy.
I'm here avoiding having caffeine for my non existent pregnancy 🙃

I think your partner needs testing. Often they look to the woman first but 1 in 4 people that are infertile is due to to male factor infertility.

My DH had make factor infertility. Low sperm count low motility and low morphology. I still had to have loads of invasive tests done. Anyway we had ivf and conceived our DS.

We wanted to try for a sibling when DS was 2. Said we would try naturally for 6 months then book into clinic as we had frozen embryos. We would have to our this time too.

I fell pregnant on the first month of trying and now we have another DS.

I really feel for you, it’s an awful thing to go through. I found I became quite bitter and jealous especially when I heard pregnancy announcements. I was always happy for the person but sad for myself and it always seemed to be another reminder of the enduring infertility.

We started TTC in 2019, I had chemical pregnancies, at least 3, and I eventually did get pregnant on my second month of letrozole and now have a 9 week old DS. He was absolutely worth the 4 year wait but my god it doesn’t make it any less horrible looking back on it, I count myself incredibly lucky.

Sending you hugs ❤️
I had my little girl last year via IVF after a miscarriage and losing both my tubes to two ectopics. I know my story is a bit extreme but I just wanted to give you a bit of hope that things can work out.

I feel your pain Op I have been trying on and off since 2018 I tried everything under the OPK’s temperature checking I do ovulate I just can’t get pregnant when we finally went to get checked I have a bicornuate uterus and high reserves and my DH has low sperm
volume and motility he was told to take zinc and we think it could be something to do with the fact that he’s a chef. I’m 34 in December and know that I don’t have forever to wait to have children so I’m going to try and lose some weight and see if that helps we can have IVF so if we aren’t successful on our own then I will try that. I did get pregnant last March and had a miscarriage it was after that I stopped trying and we’ve not tried again since then. I wish you good luck with your pregnancy journey I hope you get pregnant soon. ❤️

You're going through an indescribably difficult time, but you will somehow find your way through. It seems impossible now, but you will come out the other end.

Do you have anyone in real life you can speak to? I found a therapist helped me enormously as I had nobody, except my husband, who could in anyway relate or empathise. I also read a Times article, which said fertile people can't comfort infertile people and I'm afraid I do agree. It's a grief that unless you've experienced it is hard to comprehend.

It is very promising that specialists have given you such a good prognosis. I have also seen that you're 30, so your doctors will see you as having time on your hands should you need further fertility treatment.

I was the same age when I had my surgery and doctors kept telling me I was young and couldn't understand the urgency or desperation to have a baby.

Is there anyway you can get yourself on to the NHS IVF list another way? I don't really understand the NHS system as I live in another European country. At least that way, you will feel you have a back-up and are on the list.

You will find your way back to being you, but it will take some time.

@SquashPenguin

You have described exactly how I feel mentally too. I feel suicidal with this too, more times than I admit to myself.
I'm currently avoiding my best friend. When all of this was discovered I confided in her to be met with her telling me that infertility is a choice (?!!) and she does not support ivf being readily available to people as it's not a necessity. I should just accept it and end of. Fast forward almost two years and she's now met somebody 6 months ago (been single almost her entire life) who is vile (nasty alcoholic) and she told me he wants a child soon so they'll do that. Absolutely no sympathy for my situation at all - worded it all in such an inconsiderate and uncaring way. Lucky you - you get to make that choice -
I don't. Hence infertility not being my choice. Arghhhh. Sorry you got more than you asked for then!! But I completely get losing friends over this too. It's just awful.

I will look into fertility network thank you. It really does help speaking to others who totally understand ♥️♥️