To decline being exH's social secretary?

[BlowDryRat]

ExH and I have been divorced for nearly 10 years. We have two teen/tween DC at different schools.

ExH has emailed DH complaining that he missed a special assembly for DD. He's admitted that he gets the same school newsletters we do but he's "very busy" and "hopes we can get to a place where you and BlowDryRat inform me of these things."

We are also "very busy", what with full-time jobs and bringing up the children, who he sees two days a month. Why TF should I give him a potted run-down of the newsletters he gets but can't be bothered to read?

Pattern or one off?

I’m guessing it was a very acrimonious divorce?

If it’s important to his daughter that he be there, I’d have her remind him

Pattern. He's sketchy on contact anyway and isn't the slightest bit reliable. Will often make promises to the DC and then let them down.

Yes, he raped me repeatedly and subjected me to all sorts of abuse. That's why he talks to DH instead of me.

DD wasn't bothered about his absence. He likes to turn up to things like this to show how important and successful he isn't.

Ok so this is the least of your worries. And be very very glad it’s only 2 days a month. And I sure as heck wouldn’t be telling him a damn thing. The further away he is from your children the better

😂😂😂

I'd delete w/o replying.

If he gets the same information as you it’s up to him to sort himself out. You’re not his mother or secretary. I’d laugh at how simultaneously pathetic and pompous he comes across. No wonder you’re divorced.

Did your DH just laugh at a man who thinks it’s his (and your) job to tell him to attend his daughter’s school events?

He should have.

How pathetic is your exH?

He's an arse, but you know that already. Ignore.

Its simultaneously funny at how pathetic he is and very sad regarding what a let down he is for kids.
Your DD doesn’t mean much to him if he can’t take two seconds to put a reminder into his phone one he gets an email.
The email was sent because he is too pathetic to take responsibility for himself.
This is something my ex would do.

Nope, don't be reminding him and your DD sure as hell shouldn't. She sounds like she deals with his shitness well. Dont allow her to lower herself.

It is pathetic. He believes himself to be 100% in the right at all times. Any failings are beyond his control and usually someone else's fault.

He recently lost his license for multiple motoring offenses so now his mummy is driving him everywhere. It's amazing that this man is nearly 40 years old.

Tell him to get to fuck.

He’s an utter disgrace. The only reason I’d give in to this on the odd occasion would be for the sake of the child.
The fact he repeatedly raped you suggest to me that he shouldn’t be anywhere near her anyway.

DD adores him and it does worry me that she swallows his ridiculous excuses. DS has his number and seems to see his relationship as transactional: he turns up and his dad buys him things. Fair enough!

relief that only two days a month.
and I wouldn’t do a thing to facilitate further

He probably wouldn't have gone anyway, but this way he can blame you for not telling him.

Fuck. Off.

That’s all you need to type. Job done.

Same. I wouldn’t even reply but if you feel the need I would repeat it’s in the newsletter.

If I replied at all, it would be "The newsletter informs you." But I'd probably just not bother.

Absolutely I can pass this message on. She says her rates are £240 an hour to read and digest all newsletters and the same correspondence that we have and to summarise on a weekly or biweekly basis and then she can block out your calendar for you as needed. To start this arrangement we will send you a T and C letter to complete and sign and first payment for £480 is due on or before the 1 st July 2023.
Else you need to grow up and start adulting and taking responsibility for your own parenting.

kind regards

DH

I’m guessing it was a very acrimonious divorce?

itmcould be the most accepted, friendly divorce there is but that still wouldn’t make the OP, or her DH, responsible for informing a parent that his child has some kind of even or appointment. He needs to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for his relationship with his child.

I might ask your DH to message back "It's OK, you weren't missed. Time to employ a PA maybe?" But probably best to ignore.

Ah was going to ask why its DH who is in contact. I would suggest DH replies and says you will check the school has his correct email address for newsletters. And leaves it at that.