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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist DS uses bum bag on holiday?

272 replies

iwonderwhat · 09/06/2023 14:08

DS and friend (both 18) are going on their first holiday abroad together. They are pretty sensible but possibly a bit unworldly.

I think they should each be taking bum bag with RFID protection for their passport, phone, cards and small amount of cash but DS is resisting. They are going to a Greek island for less than a week, taking carry on bags only.

I'm a bit anxious - but trying not to show it! - and may be going overboard [getting the contact details of the local British consulate] but I don't want them to come into difficulties that could be avoided. Any suggestions much appreciated! TIA

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 09/06/2023 15:15

Passport at hotel safe, (front) pockets for cash and phone.

NoTouch · 09/06/2023 15:15

ds is in Zante for his first holiday now. Flies back tomorrow. He bought/took a nike bum bag but no idea if he used it.

First time abroad has been, for a risk adverse adult, a worry for me thinking about everything that could go wrong, but that's my problem not his. I calmed down a bit once I knew he had got there, luggage had arrived and he had "survived" his first night!

You can "insist" if that is your normal parenting style but he will do exactly what he wants when there. He is going to be 1,700miles away, the apron strings don't stretch that far!

A much better approach is to explain to him the risks, consequences and what he can do if he loses his passport, cash etc and then let him deal with it.

Mintybp · 09/06/2023 15:16

Slaistery · 09/06/2023 14:17

Is this a covert approach to ensuring he won’t get laid?

Brilliant @Slaistery this made me splurt my coffee everywhere. I have an 18 year old and the thought of insisting he wears anything, let alone a bum bag, is hilarious 😂 Goo luck

Babyboomtastic · 09/06/2023 15:17

Peachy2005 · 09/06/2023 14:55

Ooh money belts, do they still make those?! 🤣

I went travelling (20 years ago 😱) and one girl in it group wore a money belt because her mum insisted on it.

She even wore it at night when our group was in a locked hotel/hostel room together as clearly she didn't trust us. It gave her a very nasty rash. We didn't have much sympathy tbh.

ejbaxa · 09/06/2023 15:18

Maybe it would be better to get clothing with pockets that can zip up?

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 09/06/2023 15:19

Make sure he packs some nappies

To insist DS uses bum bag on holiday?
Rightiothen13 · 09/06/2023 15:20

Sunshineishere1988 · 09/06/2023 15:09

I agree. Losing something would be the bottom of my worry list and as suggested by another poster, he could scan a copy of important docs and email it to himself in case of emergency. Drugs, drink, the sea etc etc would be much bigger worries (although again, hes an adult so its our job to encourage them to be confident, responsible young adults…then worry like mad at home when hes away).

Show quote history

Mopeds without a helmet are my fear in particular

but losing money etc… not even close.

ThursdayFreedom · 09/06/2023 15:21

iwonderwhat · 09/06/2023 14:22

OK everyone, calm down. I only asked! How is it overbearing to ask for suggestions?? Of course I'm not going to "make him". Has nobody on here ever talked things through with their young adult kids to try to guide them?

I'm not planning to phone him at all. I just want the two of them to have a great time. I was mugged on holiday in my early 20s - admittedly a long time ago -and it was a right bloody pain to sort everything else.

Of course he can do what he likes. I've not been abroad for donkeys years [and he's only been on a school trip where the staff took charge of looking after passports etc] and would like to be able to suggest something.

For those with sensible suggestions [eg call it a sling bag] thank you.

@iwonderwhat

it was you that said INSIST, not suggest and said DS was resisting.

Don't complain when people respond to what YOU wrote.

JenniferBarkley · 09/06/2023 15:22

Oh OP, this is truly crazy Grin It's a week in Greece, he'll be fine. If he loses something, then he'll learn his lesson in the hassle to replace it.

I thought this was going to be about a 12 year old who didn't want to carry his epipens.

Topseyt123 · 09/06/2023 15:22

FancyFanny · 09/06/2023 14:51

Bum bags are not necessary. He's only going to a greek island- I've never had a bum bag nor has DH. He'll look a dick in a bar wearing a bum bag and it's fine to do the same as he would here when out clubbing- leave valuables in hotel safe- cash/phone/card in pocket.

DH and I both use bum bags when we are abroad on holiday. One each.

Couldn't give a crap if we look like a pair of dicks when in a bar. 🤣🤣🤣

We're in our late fifties though, so an 18 year old is likely to think totally differently.

ShouldGoToBed · 09/06/2023 15:22

@Slaistery 🤣

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 09/06/2023 15:22

Bumbag 🤣🤣

Livinginanotherworld · 09/06/2023 15:23

Christ, most kids his age are backpacking around Asia at his age !

Spanielsarepainless · 09/06/2023 15:28

I have backpacked around the Middle East and Far East. I had a slim neck purse that held my passport and valuables and was invisible under a shirt. You can get them with neck tape that can't just be snipped through.

PADDY17 · 09/06/2023 15:30

OP I think people are being a bit mean and unrealistic in their replies to you. Just because her son is 18 and of legal age etc does not mean that he is a responsible grown and she has every right to worry.

I wouldn't insist on a bumbag though. However all you can do is worry from afar and negotiate that he maybe nexts every 48 hours or so just to let you know all is well.

I am a complete worrier as something happened my daughter a couple of years back at an event that I really really did not want to let her go to. However, I was told by well meaning frinds etc that she would be fine and that I was ruining her fun by being an over anxious parent . I should have worried, I should have put my foot down. But no, I was made to feel stupid for being a worrier.

I really hope he has a great holiday and you can relax a little but big hugs to you. It is a worry and they will always be our babies no matter what, and our first instict is to protect them.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/06/2023 15:32

Rightiothen13 · 09/06/2023 15:20

Mopeds without a helmet are my fear in particular

but losing money etc… not even close.

Show quote history

From working in Travel Insurance, it's a group of teenage girls in the hotel room one floor above.

You would not believe the number of lads that fall from hotel balconies. They're all trying to be all Spiderman to impress girls.

Rightiothen13 · 09/06/2023 15:32

@PADDY17

No one is saying she shouldn’t worry

in fact…. I would be hardly sleeping I’d be so worried

but not about him losing money by not wearing a bum bag and considering insisting he does do

worried about injury, too much drink, risk taking etc

gogohmm · 09/06/2023 15:33

I've never owned a bumbag, no idea what rfid protection is and I've travelled a fair amount

Rightiothen13 · 09/06/2023 15:35

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/06/2023 15:32

From working in Travel Insurance, it's a group of teenage girls in the hotel room one floor above.

You would not believe the number of lads that fall from hotel balconies. They're all trying to be all Spiderman to impress girls.

Show quote history

Added to my list

brianixon · 09/06/2023 15:35

There may well be more pickpockets than in the home counties. that age group will be a target.
Suggest a body belt for cash and cards to wear under his shirt.
I was targeted in Tunisia. I had fastened tag of zip with twists like for bags of food. Undone in a trice.

FrenchandSaunders · 09/06/2023 15:36

@GimmeSleep oh I loved that programme .... do you remember the one where her parents were saying at the start "oh she's so shy, very reserved, barely drinks, we don't really have any worries about her, it's more her friends etc" .....

... the first night the parents are peering through the bushes and see their DD gyrating on a podium, topless, off her head 😂

NewNovember · 09/06/2023 15:37

Primark sell loads and teens are buying them , I would suggest it to him.

GimmeSleep · 09/06/2023 15:39

FrenchandSaunders · 09/06/2023 15:36

@GimmeSleep oh I loved that programme .... do you remember the one where her parents were saying at the start "oh she's so shy, very reserved, barely drinks, we don't really have any worries about her, it's more her friends etc" .....

... the first night the parents are peering through the bushes and see their DD gyrating on a podium, topless, off her head 😂

I going to see if I can find them to binge watch again 😂

mananarama · 09/06/2023 15:41

Get him some shorts with zip pockets if you must, or cargos. Bumbag indeed. This reminds me of Will’s mum sending him to sixth form with a briefcase 😂

viques · 09/06/2023 15:42

Ask him to let you take a photo of his travel documents, insurance and passport so if everything gets lost or stolen you have the details.

And make sure he has got insurance, young men and Greek motor scooters are not a good mix.

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