Thinking of sperm donation

[toosicktopray]

So I'm single, 41. I would like another child. I do not want a father. I can support the child via my work. I would not want to rely on benefits.

So, I thinking of sperm donor. I don't particularly want sex.

I've joined some groups. Does anyone know how this works? Does the man ejaculate into a cup and you put it into your vagina? I suppose you could just have sex?

Has anyone done this?

I didn't know that. I just don't want injections, I believe you can use the sperm at home? I will look into it. The facebook groups are very icky. I just don't know what else to do. I am going through a divorce, my ex was infertile.

it's called IUI and you don't need injections, the clinic will monitor your fertile period and insert the sperm when the right time is.

Thank you. Can you recommend a clinic?

Your priorities are terribly wrong. If you can't afford a meagre 2k, you cannot afford to be a mother. Full stop. Clear and simple. Save up, and do it properly. But it sounds like you're not in a financial position to raise a child. Maybe get a pet instead?

Yes, quite. OP sounds incredibly selfish. That child will want a father. It's not about what OP wants, it's about the needs, rights and wants of the child. OP is only thinking of herself. And thinking of the child as an accessory.

Sorry to be blunt but not sure how to say this in another way. but if you don't know what the process or procedure is, don't already know where your clinics are and haven't researched heavily into the impacts of having a donor conceived child/their mental health in future and the legalities of it all etc- you are very far away from being ready. I think you have a lot of research and understanding to do before you are ready to look further into this..

I would start with the London Womens clinic (think they have satellite clinics outside London). They can give you all the info and counselling to help you think through your options.

I used to muse that I would do this if me and DH split up/ something happened to him after DD was born. I definitely wanted wo children and depending on cirumstances wouldn't want another man/ father invovled. So yes, I would have done this (theoretically).

Things to consider though are who will help with childcare/ emergencies? How about the early days - would you cope on your own, especialyl with an older child to look after? Do you have a support network? And how will you/ your child feel about it in years to come? How will you feel it they wanted to go looking for their father?

I would have purchased sperm from Denmark if I had done it :)

I'm raising a child, I make 25K/year and it's perfectly fine. I grew up even poorer and was absolutely fine. There's no lower income limit to support a child.

It's not an accessory, I'm already a good mother. Having a child is not an altruistic act, ever.

Hence the post thinking about it yes.

£25k is not very much to raise two children on. How old is your other child?

This

Thank you. Yes, circumstantially it's just not viable to find a man and in all honesty I don't want one.

Yes, it's selfish. Having a child is always selfish. It's always for you. The child does not yet exist when you decide to have them.

I never planned to have children but found I am a wonderful mother to my daughter. Her dad was a POS and it was an accidental pregnancy that I found out about too late to consider abortion.

Husband was infertile and abusive, so here I am.

I will probably look abroad to be honest. I only started looking into it today.

Sorry everyone for not asking an initial question at the end of the process instead of the start. That's kind of how the internet works though.

7, and I look to increase my earnings as time goes on. I've just come out of an abusive relationship where my earnings were capped.

My support network is okay but I'm working towards significantly more income for what I do freelance now I've secured better clients.

I've had good information here. Anyone who had a child and says this is selfish. Duh. The world does not need more children. I want one. So did you.

Going abroad could really impact the child’s ability to trace who the sperm donor is in the future. This could
lead to a lot of resentment and distress for the child when they are an adult. Please don’t do this.

That's a good point, but then the ones here seem to be fathering all over the place.

I think going to a friend would maybe be the better option here. I have some people in mind.

People have pointed out the issues, including the fact that legally, this man donating sperm is the father and can claim rights. Plus, STIs and genetic screening. If you can afford a child, you can afford £2k in instalments.

Remember, if you do go down the "turkey baster" route, then you really need to trust this man. Don't go on the internet looking for volunteers, I'm sure some of them are decent and doing it to help. But a day of internet fatigue will show you how much time creeps put into getting their kinks fulfilled.

'I was poorer, anyone having children is selfish' are not good reasons to have kids. A 'good' mother doesn't have more kids intentionally knowing they'll be poor with no dad. If you just left an abusive relationship then your ALREADY EXISTING child who doesn't get a say in your poor choices has already been through enough.

Yes I found this quickly, they seem insane, one guy has kids popping out by the week.

I am going to speak to a friend about this.

No, the reason is I want one, same as the reason was for every single mother out there.

Yeah this is a concern tbh because your child can end up dating his/her sibling.
Definitely go through a proper clinic and take this seriously. You know how serious this is so if you need to wait and save 2k then you need to do that.

No op. Not all mums have kids purely because they want them without considering other factors. 'Want' is only part of it. Don't kid yourself.

Normally there are limits on sperm donation so go through a decent clinic. Otherwise yes you might get some sicko who has an STI he wants to pass on and donate to 200 women.

All about you. I pity any poor child that ends up with a mother like you.