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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to believe frequent SM posters are massively unhappy?

87 replies

Ncbo · 09/06/2023 07:20

I don't use social media much, more of just a watcher than poster.

It's become painfully obvious to me that the "perfect happy couples" are in actual fact miserable and playing out their life on an app that actually nobody gives a crap about.

Same with the parents who overshare their kids and show every detail of their day.

Just got me thinking as the neighbours argue every other day, on their kiss and make up days it prompts a post on SM declaring their undying love for each other 🙃

OP posts:
highlandspooce · 09/06/2023 07:22

My neighbours are like this. They argue really loudly for hours, slam a few doors along the way then don't talk for days. Next thing they post weird lovey memes to each other for a few days.

Then we go round again...

It's exhausting me just thinking about it

PicaK · 09/06/2023 07:22

Possibly.
But then I use fb as a photo album so I post the nice stuff and get the books made up at the end of the year.

Gamechanger82 · 09/06/2023 07:24

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AceofPentacles · 09/06/2023 07:25

Yes I know one couple where the DP confided in me twenty years ago that he didn't love his wife but she posts daily about how great her life is with him.

Doublevodka · 09/06/2023 07:25

I agree with you. I also think that frequent posters are probably quite insecure and looking for some kind of validation from others.

Aprilx · 09/06/2023 07:28

I think some people just like using SM. No I do not think that everybody that uses social media is unhappy, in fact I think that is a stupid theory.

Hillrunning · 09/06/2023 07:31

These type of posts are so frequent. Some people use social media in the same way we all use physical photographs, only capturing the lovely moments and happy memories. Would you be as sneery if you went to their house and their walls were covered only in smiling photos?

It's not how you use social media, it's not how I use it, but it is how some people use it. So what?

Gamechanger82 · 09/06/2023 07:34

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MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 09/06/2023 07:34

Agree.

There was a post once from one of my fb friends (when I had it, long since deleted) posting how much they love their boyfriend of three months whose taken on the "dad" role of her kids.
He posted "yeah when you're not having a go at me or using me as a free babysitter." And she repiled "why would you put that on Facebook." They spilt up a year later.
Made me see then just how fake it all is.

Poppins2016 · 09/06/2023 07:34

One of the unhappiest people I know has the most picture perfect and curated social media accounts. The social media persona seems to be who she wants to be (but isn't). I find it quite incongruent and a little puzzling because she's so invested in it (buying equipment, items and outfits purely for staging photos).

Babsexxx · 09/06/2023 07:35

I don’t know about massively unhappy however massively attention seeking comes to mind!

My SM has gone absolutely nuts since the suns come out tbh….even from people who really ever post! It’s gone shocking lol!

Simianwalk · 09/06/2023 07:40

Doublevodka · 09/06/2023 07:25

I agree with you. I also think that frequent posters are probably quite insecure and looking for some kind of validation from others.

I agree with this too. I know a couple of MN well known MN posters in RL and this fits the bill for them.

Gamechanger82 · 09/06/2023 07:42

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GulesMeansRed · 09/06/2023 07:43

I use social media to post photos and stuff, don;t ever post memes and don't ever post about my relationship. DH appears in photos sometimes if we're doing stuff together. As do the kids.

BarleySugars · 09/06/2023 07:44

I dont think frequent use = misery, and i can be very miserable but wouldnt post on SM, but when it comes to couples, i do find a lot of lovey dovey posts probably spells doom soon

Sissynova · 09/06/2023 07:45

For some reason it makes people feel better to assume anything good they see on SM is fake.
Obviously that’s not true, maybe some will, and then others will have lovely relationships, nice kids, lots of holidays…

Its actually a really grim quality to want to bring other people down. Quite a lot of it on this thread.

gettingoldisshit · 09/06/2023 07:49

I use it loads but that's because i have the attention span of a fly and I can't tolerate being bored! However i do think that if you have to post constantly about how much you love your partner, your latest purchase/ holiday etc or how brilliantly your kids are doing then it tends to be a case of insecurity and trying to project what you wish your life was like rather than how it really is!

Curtains70 · 09/06/2023 07:52

Some will be happy and some won't be.

I think people who want to believe that frequent SM posters are unhappy are probably just trying to make themselves feel better though.

Agix · 09/06/2023 07:57

I don't necessarily think so. I often think to myself "Awh, I'd love to share this happy moment on facebook/show my appreciation for this thing my partner did on facebook/share this nice photo of us or thing we are doing".

I never ever actually do, because I forget pretty immediately and end up doing something else, lol - my SM is super dead, barely ever post - but maybe some people actually remember that they intended to share the happy moment/thought!

I do have a couple who post a lot of great stuff on their SM - frequent swanky holidays, dates and activities together, great careers, their beautiful home and decorating they're doing. All looks fabulous. Of course I'm not privvy to their really personal lives, but knowing them "in real life" too I really can't see anything fake about it. I know they must have their hardships, everyone does, but they're a loving couple making sure they have a nice time in reality too (from what I could ever possibly tell!). Lovely people, and good for them having a great time.

ProfessorXtra · 09/06/2023 07:58

There’s exceptions to every rule. But I think generally, you are correct.

Also, I have noticed that if a couple (or just one of the couple) starts posting a lot more about how great their relationship they often break up within 6 months.

I find the main indicator is the caption

AndYou · 09/06/2023 08:01

I have met two other mnetters in real life through MN. One lived at quite a distance so we only met a few times but we used to DM a lot. I stopped using MN after the hacking and she had unfortunately disappeared. She was very like her online persona. The other one personality wise was just quite like her persona but the way you would have imagined her house and living circumstances was very different. So she would be posting about designer handbags but living in what can only be described as a health hazard due to hoarding. This wasn’t just a bit of untidiness. That was someone living online as they would have liked to live in real life, sad really.

I think there is a big difference writing on an anonymous forum or SM like insta or FB where it is actually linked to you.

stingypeasant · 09/06/2023 08:09

I think as with most things in life, you can't make assumptions. Some frequent SM posters will be miserable. Some will be living their best life. Everyone has their own relationship with SM that provably in some ways reflects their character. Di you think extrovert chatter boxes are more unhappy than quiet introverted types? Of course not. Just different ways of being. Negatively judging other people based on their SM usage is probably a more accurate reflection of whether someone is truly happy or not. And gut what's it's worth, I hardly ever post anything on SM. Too lazy. I use it watch videos of cats.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/06/2023 08:14

True in the case of some of my family members. In fact I'd say there's a direct correlation between gushy couple posts and actual couple misery.

One now separated couple used to post shite like "thanks baby for a delicious dinner" and they'd reply "it's all for you baby, you get the dishes" and back and forth for posts and posts. Whilst both sat at the same fucking table. I hid their fb feeds shortly after this started.

SecretTattoo · 09/06/2023 08:20

There’s definitely lots of fake shit on SM. But I know lots of people who don’t post on SM and are also unhappy. I think the truth is that there’s a lot of people in very unhappy relationships, don’t enjoy being parents, don’t get on with siblings, parents etc. Some pretend everything is great to others whether in real life or online for various reasons.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 09/06/2023 08:27

No I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I mean I’m sure some people are miserable and putting on a front yes, but I know plenty (including myself) who aren’t.

I post on social media (although not massively frequently) because it’s nice to store those memories and share them with family and friends.

I’m sure a few people who know me and see me posting our holidays, new home, wedding etc. and looking happy with my husband want to convince themselves it’s all fake and I’m really miserable but I’m sorry to say we are extremely happy and everything is just as good if not better than it looks 😬 if anything we tend to downplay how much fun we’re having on SM so not to be boastful.