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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anyone read the book "This is going to hurt" by Adam Kay

56 replies

user1469032438 · 08/06/2023 15:15

I watched the series last week on I player and then I bought the book, I am not very far in yet but it has been funny.

I mentioned to my mum I am reading it and she told me I should really stop reading it

For context I am 25 weeks pregnant, 2nd baby but suffered a sort of breakdown in early pregnancy where I was signed off for 8 weeks and completely non functioning for 2 weeks, my mum did a lot to help me and now I have meds etc. I am feeling much better than I was (although not perfect) and 99% of my problem was health anxiety - I was absolutely convinced I was dying and honestly it was terrifying. It also came out of nowhere, literally fine one day and then crying on the bathroom floor to my husband that i didnt know how to tell our 5 year old that i was dying.

Is the book really that bad?? It seems so funny at the start. Obviously I'm trying to be careful about not triggering myself again but it seems like such a good book :(

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 08/06/2023 15:18

It's a good book, but I peresonally wouldn't read it while pregnant, especially with your recent mental health history. There is some quite upsetting stuff in it among the funny stories, and there's a bit at the end which is quite brutal. I read it after I had my baby and it did upset me in a few places, and that's when she was here safe and sound.

Hobbes8 · 08/06/2023 15:20

If you’ve seen the series then presumably you know about the depiction of v difficult births…I wouldn’t read it whilst pregnant and I don’t have health anxiety. From memory one of the births in the book plays out worse than it does in the series.

givemushypeasachance · 08/06/2023 15:22

I mean if you've only just watched the TV series last week, and you made it through that okay with all the cases of medical emergencies during pregnancy/labour, women and babies dying in childbirth... It's not what I'd recommend someone who is pregnant read, but do you potentially find it is helping, exploring those topics and confronting the fears?

Alarae · 08/06/2023 15:23

It is dark humour but there are some very tragic scenes in that book with births that do not go to plan.

With your recent struggles I would not continue reading it until after you have given birth. You do not want to put yourself in the position of dwelling on a 'what if' scenario because of the book.

If you like self-deprecating humour, I quite enjoyed the 'Why Mummy Drinks' series.

Sunnyfeelgood · 08/06/2023 15:26

Continue reading it post birth! The bit that got me was how the book explains how the Drs ar rushing from patient to patient leaving them in distress due to being short staffed. A lot of my trust in 'saftey' felt damaged by reading this. If you are vulnerable to health anxiety, this could be a huge trigger and make you feel very anxious.

Timeforchangeithink · 08/06/2023 15:27

If you have HA stop fuelling your fire by reading things like this. Sorry but seriously - look what you and your family have been through without voluntarily making it worse. Tough talk as I have a 'friend' with HA who does things like this and it's putting her family through hell.

CointreauVersial · 08/06/2023 15:30

The book was very darkly funny, and I loved it. I think it was a lot better than the TV adaptation because of the writing style........ but it takes a serious turn near the end, and suddenly isn't funny at all. Definitely leave it until you have had your baby in case you find it upsetting.

AddieLoggins2 · 08/06/2023 15:30

My mum read it while I was pregnant with DC2. She told me she thought I would like it but explicitly told me not to read it yet.

Just after DS was born she lent it to me and said "here, you can read this now".

I'm really grateful, I did like the book but I wouldn't have wanted to read it while pregnant - and I've had two fairly straightforward births and didn't suffer with anxiety or anything.

It's not worth risking it distressing you, I would just wait a few months and finish it after the baby is born.

CocoPlum · 08/06/2023 15:36

I found it (mostly) so funny but read it when my children were older. I would absolutely put it down and read something else, especially considering what you've been through.

Wintry57 · 08/06/2023 15:38

No, I wouldn’t be reading it in your situation and with your history - it’s a collection of the notable births isn’t it from the perspective of the doctor, your mum seems to have given you good advice.

WheelsUp · 08/06/2023 15:39

If I were you I'd read it after I delivered your baby. You don't want to go to hospital feeling anxious about what will be happening out of sight.

ohmustyou · 08/06/2023 15:43

Stop reading. You have the rest of your life to read it.

Likewise, don't watch Bodies.

batsandeggs · 08/06/2023 15:44

Read it a while after baby has arrived.

WordsandSentences · 08/06/2023 15:47

Yes, I wouldn’t read it now. Also - in my opinion, I think he comes across as misogynistic but that didn’t surprise me particularly.

Careerdilemma · 08/06/2023 15:48

It sounds like your mum is very caring, has been hugely supportive and is worried about you. So I'd stop reading it to put her mind at rest if nothing else.

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:49

The only real reason not to read it is that Kay is a misogynistic twat who clearly hates women.

The way he speaks "hilariously" about scared women, women having babies, elderly women, is fucking disgusting.

I'm just thankful he's no longer a doctor and stays the fuck away from the women's bodies that so evidently repulse him.

Apparently the TV series was very much sanitised to remove some of his more blatant misogyny, but there are some interesting things he can't whitewash from his past including some repugnant songs he wrote about women when a student.

Stay away from him. And good luck with your pregnancy.

GulesMeansRed · 08/06/2023 15:49

Adam Kay really doesn't like women. The way he discusses his female patients is horrendous.

spiderlight · 08/06/2023 15:52

Put it aside for now. The ending is not what you want to be reading while pregnant.

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:52

I'd suggest (not you OP, but anybody who still thinks this twat is funny) to read the lyrics of his song "Your Baby".

Cocolapew · 08/06/2023 15:52

I wouldn't bother reading after you give birth, its a sneery, woman hating book

KnackeredAF · 08/06/2023 15:55

I loved it but there is a truly harrowing part that I wept at well before I got pregnant. The series came out during my pregnancy and I didn’t watch it, knowing that it could potentially be very triggering.
I’d pause the book for now and pick up post delivery… if you get the time!

Rightnowstraightaway · 08/06/2023 15:56

I recently read and watched them.

The TV series was a very different vibe I found. I thought the TV show was quite depressing from the start and rather a study in doctors having breakdowns. I didn't laugh that much.

The book, on the other hand, I thought was hilarious for the first 95%, then traumatic. I cried at the end and was glad I hadn't read it whilst pregnant.

donquixoteslittledonkey · 08/06/2023 15:59

Thought this about the misogyny as well, nobody else I know who read/watched it seemed to see it.m that way. Weird because I felt it was flagrant.

happyinherts · 08/06/2023 16:01

Put it away. Enjoy your pregnancy, read some great fiction books, and then enjoy your baby and life as a new Mum. You don't need anything written by Adam Kay in your life at all.

DryIce · 08/06/2023 16:02

I read it while pregnant and kind of wished i hadn't, even with 2 very straightforward pregnancies/births and no general anxiety.