Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anyone read the book "This is going to hurt" by Adam Kay

56 replies

user1469032438 · 08/06/2023 15:15

I watched the series last week on I player and then I bought the book, I am not very far in yet but it has been funny.

I mentioned to my mum I am reading it and she told me I should really stop reading it

For context I am 25 weeks pregnant, 2nd baby but suffered a sort of breakdown in early pregnancy where I was signed off for 8 weeks and completely non functioning for 2 weeks, my mum did a lot to help me and now I have meds etc. I am feeling much better than I was (although not perfect) and 99% of my problem was health anxiety - I was absolutely convinced I was dying and honestly it was terrifying. It also came out of nowhere, literally fine one day and then crying on the bathroom floor to my husband that i didnt know how to tell our 5 year old that i was dying.

Is the book really that bad?? It seems so funny at the start. Obviously I'm trying to be careful about not triggering myself again but it seems like such a good book :(

OP posts:
oliveandwell · 08/06/2023 16:04

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:49

The only real reason not to read it is that Kay is a misogynistic twat who clearly hates women.

The way he speaks "hilariously" about scared women, women having babies, elderly women, is fucking disgusting.

I'm just thankful he's no longer a doctor and stays the fuck away from the women's bodies that so evidently repulse him.

Apparently the TV series was very much sanitised to remove some of his more blatant misogyny, but there are some interesting things he can't whitewash from his past including some repugnant songs he wrote about women when a student.

Stay away from him. And good luck with your pregnancy.

Agree.

TenoringBehind · 08/06/2023 16:06

The book is better than the tv series. He comes across as an unpleasant man who hates women and wasn’t suited to being a doctor.

Thankfully he was nothing like the fabulous doctors and midwives I came across when having my children.

DramaAlpaca · 08/06/2023 16:07

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:49

The only real reason not to read it is that Kay is a misogynistic twat who clearly hates women.

The way he speaks "hilariously" about scared women, women having babies, elderly women, is fucking disgusting.

I'm just thankful he's no longer a doctor and stays the fuck away from the women's bodies that so evidently repulse him.

Apparently the TV series was very much sanitised to remove some of his more blatant misogyny, but there are some interesting things he can't whitewash from his past including some repugnant songs he wrote about women when a student.

Stay away from him. And good luck with your pregnancy.

Well said. It's a disgusting book by a man who hates women.

WordsandSentences · 08/06/2023 16:08

donquixoteslittledonkey · 08/06/2023 15:59

Thought this about the misogyny as well, nobody else I know who read/watched it seemed to see it.m that way. Weird because I felt it was flagrant.

Me too, but I think some of the people I know, that thought this, were of the ‘if I tell myself that what happened to me, needed to, otherwise there would have been a catastrophic outcome’ frame of mind. So really didn’t want to consider that there might be a different way. Very much ‘well you’re both alive and you should be grateful and so whatever happened to you should not be talked about.’

Lizzt2007 · 08/06/2023 16:10

Rightnowstraightaway · 08/06/2023 15:56

I recently read and watched them.

The TV series was a very different vibe I found. I thought the TV show was quite depressing from the start and rather a study in doctors having breakdowns. I didn't laugh that much.

The book, on the other hand, I thought was hilarious for the first 95%, then traumatic. I cried at the end and was glad I hadn't read it whilst pregnant.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I found the book funny, but the tv series lost the humour, I didn't end up finishing the series!
Honestly op if I were you I'd leave it for now. It's a very no holds barred account and if you have health anxiety it's probably not the best idea to read it at this stage of your pregnancy.

Oftentimes · 08/06/2023 16:12

He a horrible little man who couldn’t cope with the fact he wasn’t as good as he’d have liked to have been.

ArcticSkewer · 08/06/2023 16:12

I'd call this an act of self sabotage if you continue Anxiety does that to you. Like a scab you just can't stop picking even though you know it's going to make things worse.

Upanddownthemerrygoround · 08/06/2023 16:13

Apart from the misogyny… I read a lot and I am a very calm chilled, no anxiety person.

DH explicitly told me not to read it until I’d had my baby. I’m glad I followed his advice - and I had three “normal” births.

angelicaelizapeggy · 08/06/2023 16:13

These threads always end up in a 50/50 split between those who love the book and those who find it really misogynistic.

Likewise on Twitter and other platforms, it’s one of those controversial books that some love but many people just find really sexist and horrible.

Personally I’m in the latter camp and couldn’t stand it so I’d swerve reading it all together. Not interested in what some posh privileged white bloke has to say about women and their bodies.

polkadotdalmation · 08/06/2023 16:18

He says a horrific birth incident prompted him to leave the medical profession. That's all you need to know so your mum is right.

Pawpatrollermum · 08/06/2023 16:18

Stop reading. There’s a bit at the end that stays with you and is quite upsetting

Alltheprettyseahorses · 08/06/2023 16:19

I agree you should probably save it until after you've had your baby but I didn't find it misogynistic at all. I saw discussions on here before I read it but although there was plenty of black humour, honesty and laughing at embarrassing things that happen I certainly didn't get the impression Kay disliked his patients - quite the opposite. I've read a lot worse from female midwives, The Secret Midwife being a case in point.

SurferRona · 08/06/2023 16:20

Notwithstanding the careless misogyny, you should stop reading because it is a spectacularly shite book. Just total pish. Waste of trees and everyone’s time. Did not and do not get the love for it. There are so many talented writers and great books out there, including some proper funny ones, why waste your time on total talentless drivel?

KetoQueen · 08/06/2023 16:20

He’s a misogynistic twat in the parts
about gynaecology

Jules912 · 08/06/2023 16:24

I found most of it really funny but the ending really got me, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to read it while pregnant.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 08/06/2023 16:25

I can't understand how he has been so successful off the back of this. I read the book before all the hype, and thought it was awful, both the writing and his attitude. Obviously I didn't watch the series. But as to your point OP, don't read it, it had some upsetting things in it.

user50316 · 08/06/2023 16:32

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:49

The only real reason not to read it is that Kay is a misogynistic twat who clearly hates women.

The way he speaks "hilariously" about scared women, women having babies, elderly women, is fucking disgusting.

I'm just thankful he's no longer a doctor and stays the fuck away from the women's bodies that so evidently repulse him.

Apparently the TV series was very much sanitised to remove some of his more blatant misogyny, but there are some interesting things he can't whitewash from his past including some repugnant songs he wrote about women when a student.

Stay away from him. And good luck with your pregnancy.

This with bells on

Motnight · 08/06/2023 16:32

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:52

I'd suggest (not you OP, but anybody who still thinks this twat is funny) to read the lyrics of his song "Your Baby".

Bloody hell. I have just googled the lyrics. Why would anyone write that?

JackieWeaverhasendedthemeeting · 08/06/2023 16:36

I had my last baby 11 years ago and Rreading this book made me realise I am not over the experience i had should be considering therapy; the end of the book is tragic and not for the faint-hearted. Put it down, the funny bits get further and further apart😢

Loopyloo159 · 08/06/2023 16:36

So1invictus · 08/06/2023 15:49

The only real reason not to read it is that Kay is a misogynistic twat who clearly hates women.

The way he speaks "hilariously" about scared women, women having babies, elderly women, is fucking disgusting.

I'm just thankful he's no longer a doctor and stays the fuck away from the women's bodies that so evidently repulse him.

Apparently the TV series was very much sanitised to remove some of his more blatant misogyny, but there are some interesting things he can't whitewash from his past including some repugnant songs he wrote about women when a student.

Stay away from him. And good luck with your pregnancy.

Agree . I saw him at a live show and found it really awkward !

TooOldForThisNonsense · 08/06/2023 16:36

spiderlight · 08/06/2023 15:52

Put it aside for now. The ending is not what you want to be reading while pregnant.

This. It is devastating and would not be good to read when pregnant.

BelleMarionette · 08/06/2023 16:36

It's dark humour, very dark at times. Perhaps not best for you right now.

His latest book has quite a few triggers in it, for very different reasons to this one, so I would also advise reader discretion.

CurlewKate · 08/06/2023 16:50

I honestly wouldn't read it-it's too graphic. I also think it's misogynist-but that's another story!

TheDutchHouse · 08/06/2023 16:53

GulesMeansRed · 08/06/2023 15:49

Adam Kay really doesn't like women. The way he discusses his female patients is horrendous.

This !!
I came on to say this and someone beat me to it !!

TimeSlipMushroom · 08/06/2023 17:03

Stop reading it OP! You will thank us in the future

I can recommend "where the Crawdads sing" as an alternative read

Swipe left for the next trending thread