To not work during 8 weeks off?

[mirabellyache]

So our daughter has just finished her postgraduate degree. She has 8 weeks off before she starts a super intense (and well paid) job in finance. She's 'completely broke' in her words. She has a wonderful boyfriend who she lives with, who is happy to support her during this break. He thinks its best she enjoys this time off as she is not going to get such a long and proper rest for a long long time.

I agree with him, and I'm happy to throw a bit of money now and again so she can enjoy herself. Their flat needs some DIY and she's said she's looking forward to doing it, and keeping the house tidy/doing cooking etc.

AIBU to think it's ok to not work, even if it means she's not earning?

My parents are from a different generation. Working class, and still think that you can get a job for the week by just signing up at the factory or whatever. They keep badgering my DD about why she isn't working, and it's lazy with all this time off.

She should take the time off and embrace the chance to do as little as possible. As others have said, she may not get another chance like this til retirement.

I think the OP's daughter has done a masters degree rather than a PhD.
Regardless, she is NBU to take the time out, hope she enjoys her break. I would be off abroad for 4-6 weeks if it was me, I appreciate she doesn't have the money to do that though.

Good for her, she should enjoy that time off as, apart from if she has kids (which isn’t exactly “holiday”!), she’s unlikely to have 8 weeks off again until she retires. Her grandparents can go and jump if they don’t like it, nothing to do with them. I work in finance and it can be really intense at times so a break now will be good.

With all due respect I think that both you and your parents should butt out of your adult daughter's biz

Her GP should not be spoiling this time off she has clearly worked so hard for, If my DD had the oportunity to have had a break after uni I would have fully supported that, she clearly has the support of you and her partner, tell your parents to not spoil this, I would be telling GP you will cut contact if they don't keep their thoughts to themselves.

Surely instead of staying home and doing the DIY and cleaning while he's at work, she needs to go off travelling for at least a month as a celebration of what she's achieved? It may be the last period of freedom she has before work and marriage and paying the mortgage tie her down for years ahead.

If she was mine, I'd lend her a few grand to do something she'll remember in the next few years. If she's going to be a high earner, she can pay you back down the line.

Absolutely have the break!

If she really needs it then she can do some office temp placements? Covering reception etc,

I don't think the OP means hard up when mentioning broke.
I read it as her DD is mentally broken.
Tell her to take the 8 weeks and start her new job fresh.

Fine if she doesn’t want to work, but I’d not be giving her top ups.

Unless the GPs are expected to fund her time off (which they are clearly not), they should butt out. I was working by the time I finished my PhD, so didn't get the opportunity then, but did enjoy far longer off (funded by VR payment, savings and DH) when I took VR 15+ years later. She should definitely enjoy the time when she can 😁

I would tell the GPS to mind their own business. Why have you allowed them to be so vocal.

YANBU. Huge congratulations 🍾 to your DD.

In standard English, 'broke' means 'having no money'. If OP meant 'broken', she'd have written that, to judge by the standard of the language they use.

I agree with you. Last chance to do something fulfilling like this. Most of us never realise this until it’s too late.

She deserves a break, has a job lined up and has plenty to be doing. It's 8 weeks. not years. She's not wasting time she's passing it. And very few places would hire her for 8 weeks!

If your DD's 8 week break has no adverse impact on the GPs then they should gracefully keep their opinions to themselves. It's not as if they are being asked to fund her.

They've shared their views - she disagrees (as is her right), and because she is an adult they need to stop banging on about it and leave her be, because this is really nothing to do with them.

If they choose to keep haranguing her about taking an extended holiday, then they need to accept that they will see and hear very little from her in the next two months, as she will understandably not want to have to listen to the same old crap every time.

Their choice.

If either of my children had this opportunity after achieving so well academically and securing a great job, not only would I force them to take the 8 weeks and do as they please, if I was able I'd also help them out financially. Success and hard work should have some reward. It's a very long time to retirement.

In standard English, 'broke' means 'having no money'. If OP meant 'broken', she'd have written that, to judge by the standard of the language they use.

I took it to mean the girl feels run down, hence the need for 8 weeks of 'me time'. Would be good if OP clarified what she means.

Either way, it's none of grandparents business. I wouldn't be seeing them for the duration of the 8 weeks if they're just going to harp on about it.

I still remember the summer before I started my career job, which was 20 years ago. I’d always worked in the holidays and it was a proper reward to have the time off. I didn’t even have any DIY to do! It’s the last time I had a long period of time off work without having to worry about money (knowing that a good salary was coming). Good luck to your daughter and hope she enjoys it!

Of course it's ok!

The graduate company I started with insisted we took a long break before starting.

After an intense course and before starting a demanding job- no, she should relax.

If you and her bf are happy to support her financially then it’s a no brainier. Once she starts working she won’t ever get eight weeks off again (unless it for a baby!) so I say go for it!

Your daughter is living independent of you and your grandparents, with a bf happy to support her so i'm not sure what the issue is unless she keeps mentioning that she's broke to family in the hope that you'll all give her money.

She's totally reasonable to choose not to work but should probably keep her mouth shut about her being "broke" in the presence of her grandparents who may well have had serious financial troubles in their lives and hearing a kid describing themselves in this way could really be getting their backs up. She's not broke, she's on the brink of a glittering career which will probably see her through to being secure and comfortable for life.

I think it's fair enough, if you can all afford it and so on.

I worked PT while I was at law school and contributed to bills but my DM very kindly paid my half of the rent while I was there. I paid her back within 6 months when I started working.