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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Organ donation

35 replies

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 05:57

If your adult child needed a kidney transplant would you volunteer to be a live donor?

YANBU - yes I would do anything for my child
YABU - no

OP posts:
RightWhereYouLeftMe · 08/06/2023 06:21

Yes I would. But they are the only people I would do this for.

ShippingNews · 08/06/2023 06:24

Yes of course.

JaneorEleven · 08/06/2023 06:25

Yes, I would do anything for my child.

Seddon · 08/06/2023 06:26

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 08/06/2023 06:21

Yes I would. But they are the only people I would do this for.

Same

Flowerblooms · 08/06/2023 06:33

I wouldn’t even give it a second thought it would be a definite yes.

GoodChat · 08/06/2023 06:37

Absolutely. I'd ask them to test to see if mine was compatible as soon as i knew.

WhisperingAutistic · 08/06/2023 06:38

Of course

DurhamDurham · 08/06/2023 06:40

Of course I would, this is something I would only do this for my children and grandchild.

Qilin · 08/06/2023 06:44

Yes I would. And for Dh.
And I'd like to think I'd offer for my Bruce's and brothers, and siblings.

Reallybadidea · 08/06/2023 06:46

I can't see anyone admitting that they wouldn't on Mumsnet 😂

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/06/2023 06:49

I would for my boys and OH, everything I do is for them, so I wouldn't have to think about it.

Original poster
Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Reallybadidea · 08/06/2023 06:46

I can't see anyone admitting that they wouldn't on Mumsnet 😂

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

OP posts:
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 08/06/2023 06:54

Yes. And I’d be really cross if DH’s kidney was chosen above mine.

I would not allow my dc to donate to me.

WhisperingAutistic · 08/06/2023 06:54

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

Show quote history

Did she give a reason why?

mobear · 08/06/2023 07:05

My DP did this for his son. I would do it for ours if it came to it (no reason to think it will).

Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:09

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

Show quote history

This is an interesting one. Yes, I would, without a seconds hesitation. But I don’t judge the woman who refused - everyone’s body is their own and they have the right to decide what to do with it. I don’t think even (adult) children have the right to demand a woman gives up a part of her own body.

AgentJohnson · 08/06/2023 07:12

Would I offer if DD needed it, yes but I wouldn’t expect anyone to offer me theirs.

Namechangedforthis2244 · 08/06/2023 07:19

I would probably do this if one of my children needed one.

However, there are situations where I might not - if I was poorly or there was a high likelihood that the op wouldn’t be successful; if their dad was a better match etc etc. If the risks of the op were very high.

What I would feel strongly would be that it is my body and my choice and I would be extremely angry with any family member who thought that it was their role to make that choice for me.

GoodChat · 08/06/2023 07:21

I don't think anyone should try and pressure anyone else into donating an organ. It's such a massive ordeal that you have to be absolutely certain that you're happy to do it.

Original poster
Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 07:21

Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:09

This is an interesting one. Yes, I would, without a seconds hesitation. But I don’t judge the woman who refused - everyone’s body is their own and they have the right to decide what to do with it. I don’t think even (adult) children have the right to demand a woman gives up a part of her own body.

Show quote history

The recipient did not ask anyone to donate. Ppl were told of the person health and that they needed a transplant. There was no pressure or demand placed on anyone.

OP posts:
Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:23

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 07:21

The recipient did not ask anyone to donate. Ppl were told of the person health and that they needed a transplant. There was no pressure or demand placed on anyone.

Show quote history

But you said it caused resentment? So somebody thought that she should have done it?

VerticalSausages · 08/06/2023 07:24

yes yes respect the person’s autonomy and all that, but I would certainly judge a mother who refused without a clear reason.

StoneColdMedusa · 08/06/2023 07:27

I wouldn’t. I have chronic health issues and that’s hard enough to navigate life with

Eastofe · 08/06/2023 07:35

I would, and for my siblings and neices. But I am fairly young, in good health, with reasonable sick pay from work, a supportive family who could sort themselves while I recover and am not scared of surgery.
It is hard because I can't imagine not doing it for my own child but I can see why someone would not want to do it if they didn't have any of that to help. Especially if there were already lots of others willing to do it instead.

KrisAkabusi · 08/06/2023 07:41

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

Show quote history

I would, but I don't think I would judge anyone that didn't the way you are. It's nit a rusk-free procedure and she may have her own reasons.