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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my 3 year old to my Gynaecology appointment

96 replies

Cakeymamma88 · 07/06/2023 18:48

I'm having a biopsy tomorrow afternoon and cannot go unless I take my toddler with me. A friend made a face when I mentioned I would be taking my little one. Is it really that bad to take a 3 year old ? They are well behaved (mostly) and very ised to medical setting and I'll hopefully be in and out.

OP posts:
BallandBoe · 07/06/2023 18:55

It's absolutely fine.

Hope the appointment goes well!

Smartiepants79 · 07/06/2023 18:55

Do you have a plan for how to keep how completely still and quiet for the appropriate amount of time?
Where is it? Somewhere there may be very ill or distressed other people who might appreciate a toddler.
To be honest I’d not be wanting to a take toddler along for a medical procedure but if there’s no other option…??

SnappyDragony · 07/06/2023 18:56

Yes I'm afraid yabu. You are having a medical procedure done where you are going to want to relax, the last thing you need is a toddler there with you! The doctor is also going to be performing something quite intrusive on you, do you really want them distracted with potentially sharp implements around and in your vagina?
They might not even do it with a toddler in tow.
I'm sorry you're struggling with childcare and it must be very difficult but it's not like you're getting your blood pressure checked, you're going to need to sort someone (even if that means paying) to look after your LO. Best of luck with the procedure.

WunWun · 07/06/2023 18:59

I wouldn't think the doctor would be okay with this as you're having a biopsy. An appointment is one thing, but this is different.

Thebigblueballoon · 07/06/2023 19:01

A couple of friends have taken their kids to appointments before when there was no other option, and their doctors were OK with it.
But only you know how well-behaved your toddler is. If they are likely to be running up and down, making noise and touching the equipment, I’d look for a babysitter. If you take them along, make sure to bring a colouring book/tablet/insert distracting toy.

Elysiaxo · 07/06/2023 19:02

Why would she make a face? How weird.

Go ahead with the appointment tomorrow. If it doesn't work out book another one and get childcare next time. No big deal either way.

MaggieFS · 07/06/2023 19:02

Not ideal, but if there's no choice then of course you'll have to.

My two little ones can sit perfectly still glued to phones when needs must.

Cincinnatus · 07/06/2023 19:02

You wouldn’t be allowed to bring your child in with you when I worked in Gynae. I think you should ring them tomorrow and ask beforehand to save yourself a potentially wasted journey.

SeeingSpots · 07/06/2023 19:04

Are you sure you're actually allowed to take children, have you checked? I suspect what will happen is you will turn up and they will tell you, you will need to rearrange as it's not appropriate to have a child accompany you.

MrsElsa · 07/06/2023 19:05

No way. You aren't able to be responsible for a child during the appointment and it's unreasonable to expect any staff to act as childcare. PP is right, it may well be a wasted appointment as they'll refuse to incapacitate you while you're responsible for a 3 yo child

Daisy95 · 07/06/2023 19:07

If it was a normal appointment I wouldn't have bay an eyelid but our gynae department definitely wouldn't perform the biopsy with a toddler in tow unfortunately.

WunWun · 07/06/2023 19:08

Elysiaxo · 07/06/2023 19:02

Why would she make a face? How weird.

Go ahead with the appointment tomorrow. If it doesn't work out book another one and get childcare next time. No big deal either way.

Except wasting the appointment when the NHS is already under stress...

Bronteheart · 07/06/2023 19:11

Do you mean a colposcopy or hysteroscopy? If so you’ll be lying down with your feet in stirrups.

What are staff supposed to do with your daughter, you can’t leave her outside.

gamerchick · 07/06/2023 19:12

Not really something I'd inflict on other patients, never mind the staff.

You need to ring and ask I think.

MadeForThis · 07/06/2023 19:13

I wasn't allowed to bring my child to a coil swap.

hungryh1ppo · 07/06/2023 19:17

I wouldn't take my dc, I'm sorry.

However, if it were my friend I would absolutely look after her dc. Any chance your friend could take your dc so you can go alone?

pukepoint3 · 07/06/2023 19:17

I've had a colposcopy appointment recently including a biopsy and I'd try to avoid bringing a small child. It's not pleasant.

Starlightstarbright1 · 07/06/2023 19:19

whilst you may think your child would sit there what would you do if the didn’t. You can’t get up mid procedure.

is there no one who can have them .

I had a x ray today - a woman turned up with a child in pushchair- the receptionist said she would speak to radiographer - no idea what actually happened though.

LookWhosInsideAgain · 07/06/2023 19:22

Have you checked it’s ok with the hospital? If it’s in the same area that women are having pregnancy scans/ dealing with pregnancy loss as gynaecology clinics very often are you will not be allowed in with your child. I had to have cervical cancer treatment and was turned away at William Harvey hospital in Ashford a few years ago as I was unaware these were the rules.

LookWhosInsideAgain · 07/06/2023 19:23

Bronteheart · 07/06/2023 19:11

Do you mean a colposcopy or hysteroscopy? If so you’ll be lying down with your feet in stirrups.

What are staff supposed to do with your daughter, you can’t leave her outside.

For my appointment I was simply turned away and they rebooked me another appointment making it clear that I couldn’t being my then baby with me.

Sh4rkAttack · 07/06/2023 19:26

Makes you wonder why hospitals don't have a creche...

Sirzy · 07/06/2023 19:26

If she was old enough to leave in the waiting room with an iPad that would be one thing but for a toddler no way. Not fair on anyone involved.

can you ask one of your friends to have her for a bit? Even if they sit in the cafe with her

onnonotagaindear · 07/06/2023 19:28

I did this. I thought there would be a curtain and they could look at books but the curtain was removed due to covid, they said. So I put toddler on my chest, facing me, and chatted to them to stop them getting a good look at my
bits!

PinkPlantCase · 07/06/2023 19:30

Have you ever had a biopsy before? I’ve had friends almost faint or find it incredibly painful.

Really not the environment for a 3 year old. Is there anyone who could go with you and maybe sit with them in the cafe? I’ve found that people are often more okay with this than having DC on their own for longer. It means that they’re doing the childcare for the minimum amount of time and you aren’t far away if there’s a problem.

CoconutDrunk · 07/06/2023 19:31

I know this might sound snotty but I mean it genuinely, I’m really surprised you’re considering it. It’s going to be possibly quite uncomfortable, not a short amount of time and you won’t be able to just get up and see to your child in an instant should they need it. I really wouldn’t want to be in that position if it were me… it will make the whole appointment twice as difficult for everyone involved.

Also, I’m not sure you’d be allowed anyway. Where I live you aren’t even allowed to bring your child to ANY pregnancy scan/midwife appointment, even routine ones, let alone any other gynae appt.

I would definitely reschedule and make arrangements for childcare although I suspect it will be too late for them to give the appointment to someone else so will still be a waste.

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