To take my 3 year old to my Gynaecology appointment

[Cakeymamma88]

I'm having a biopsy tomorrow afternoon and cannot go unless I take my toddler with me. A friend made a face when I mentioned I would be taking my little one. Is it really that bad to take a 3 year old ? They are well behaved (mostly) and very ised to medical setting and I'll hopefully be in and out.

YABU Staff may say it’s ok in case you put in a complaint against them….but I can assure you they won’t be particularly happy! What if you need a X-ray while there? Why can’t child’s father take time off & look after his child? It’s not as if you’re going for a manicure or something!

@Gall10 i really don’t think staff would do that because they’re worried about a complaint. For most procedures it will say in your letter or the ward guidelines that you can’t bring children. This is particularly the case in gynaecology clinics/ wards where women are dealing with pregnancy loss. The last thing women who are waiting for their appointment for a surgical miscarriage need is a baby/ young child in the waiting room with them.

Oh OP really difficult to say as if it’s your only option what else can you do? Call in advance please and check because if you turn up and they refuse you you could be waiting months to be seen again which obviously would not be ideal. (Side note and not for the same department or issue but in September 2022 I was given an appointment for September 2023 that I’ve had to rearrange because I’m on a work trip then and my new appointment is May 2024!) The waits are outrageous at the moment.

I agree with all PPs here that say it’s an inappropriate place for a little one. No matter how well-behaved- 3 year olds are so curious and they may touch things they shouldn’t and without meaning to, be quite a distraction for both yourself (when you’ll need to be fully relaxed and not stressed or worried) and for your doctor too. Give them a call and good luck with your appointment x

I had to take my 2 year old to the early pregnancy unit recently as had no childcare. They have a no children policy but I explained and they were so nice, found me a room to wait in rather than the main waiting room

Is it a no go even for a regular check up? I tend to take my toddler to show her that it's good to get teeth looked at etc and set an example. I wouldn't take her if I was having a procedure though, only for a check up as she will sit on the chair and watch.

I'm really keen she doesn't end up hating the dentist like her dad and his entire side of the family (his dad has never been to the dentist...ever...).

No. Your child may wonder what is happening to you and become distressed.
I took my daughter to a hygienist with me appointment when she was 3 and it didn't go well. She screamed and jumped off a tall chair, hurting herself in the process of trying to get to me.
Yours is a more serious appointment. You will need to be relaxed. I doubt the medical staff will want the child there anyway, no matter how well behaved.
Can your face pulling friend babysit?
Good luck and hope it's a good result.

Nope, if you’re having a biopsy that has anything to do with messing about with your cervix, there is a risk of you experiencing a vasovagal episode and the staff will then have to take care of you and your children.

We explicitly tell people where I work not to bring children when they come in for a coil (and why), some bring them anyway then are outraged when we turn them away.

In theory, regular check ups should be fine. If you're sure the child will definitely just sit and watch. It's definitely a good idea to bring children along so they can get used to it, and i do encourage it for quick check ups only. But sometimes children just won't sit still even for a few minutes and it can still make the whole thing very stressful. As @Daisybuttercup12345 said, sometimes children can panic and wonder what's happening to their parent. They think they're being hurt. But if they've been to a check up before and been fine then it should be fine. The main problem with dentistry is because it's working in the mouth. Children like verbal reassurance from parents and they can't get that when the parent can't talk. I've often just started looking in a parents mouth and the child will start asking mum mum mum what's that mum what's happening mum what's that constantly. I will often try and answer and explain but firstly the child wants mum to answer and secondly its often a reflex or the parent feels guilty ignoring the child. So I have to keep stopping so the parent can talk. Then sometimes the child gets bored watching within a few minutes and they ask for a snack/ iPad. The parent is very apologetic normally and says I'll just quickly get them sorted so they're up out the chair doing that. Then they drop the snack. Then the iPad locks/ that's not what the wanted to watch etc/ they want to show mum the funny thing they're watching. Which are all normal child behaviours but can turn a 10 minute appointment into a 20 min stress for everyone. I have sometimes had perfectly behaved children sit and watch nicely and it's great. I'm happy to show them equipment and explain what's happening. Let them play with a few buttons/ sit mum up in the chair etc at the end. But I also need to first do the job needed.

But this is somewhat of the same issue. I agree its great to bring kids to see there is nothing to be scared about, but you should also bring along another adult to supervise her. It is much better for you to be in the chair having your check up, and your DD watching with another trusted adult supervising her and explaining what's going on. If she got upset then the other adult can comfort her and take her out - which you can't do with a dentist in your mouth!

Thank you so much for your lovely responses. I've managed to find some last minute childcare. But having not been for this procedure before I wasn't aware of the ins and out. Now I'm scared of fainting or having a panic attack but that's beside the point. I have to just bite the bullet and get through it. I'm a solo parent without the village it takes to raise a child. And she had come along to recent blood tests etc.

Good luck OP, be gentle on yourself

Glad you’ve found childcare,

Sorry some of the responses scared you - I’m sure you will be absolutely fine.

If you’ve had smears etc before and been fine then it’s very unlikely you’ll have a panic attack or faint, I’m sure they were just “what if” worst case scenarios.

All the best for the procedure.

Blood tests are quite different as you can even have a toddler on your lap. Glad you found childcare. I would look into whether you can find other line parents you can swop with

I once made the mistake of letting my toddler play on my phone while having a procedure (not gynae but something slightly yucky involving partial nudity) and toddler helpfully decided to document everything with the phone camera instead.

This would be my concern too, I work in this area and vasovagal episodes happen fairly frequently, if you needed to be admitted for observation that would be difficult to do with a child in tow

Because it's not the hospitals responsibility to sort out patient's childcare...

Probably turn you away and then you'd have to wait for another appointment.

Glad you've got childcare sorted.

I've had the same procedure a couple of times. First was fine, if a bit uncomfortable. I can imagine it might look a little scary through a three year old's eyes though - mummy in stirrups in a chair with doctors inserting quite frightening looking tools into her and potentially a big screen showing the insides etc.

The second time I bled quite heavily and there was a bit of a kerfuffle whilst they tried to stop the bleeding, put pads down, clean me up etc. It wasn't hugely painful, again just uncomfortable but I imagine would have been quite distressing for a little one to see.

Try not to worry about it too much - it isn't anyone's idea of a good time but is over fairly quickly. There will be a couple of nurses in with you and they're generally quite good at explaining things as they go I find.

I’m surprised by the comments re: hospitals separating patients from each other in respect of children. I had an ovarian cancer scare and the gynae oncology department shared a waiting area with the maternity department. It was a room full of people who’d had full hysterectomies/awaiting possible danger diagnoses and those with bumps and babies/toddlers in tow.

I did say to the receptionist that perhaps the atmosphere wasn’t the best for the former group of women and they looked at me like I had two heads. It’s great that other hospitals don’t do this!

Danger diagnoses? Cancer, obviously.

I had to do this to have a biopsy and the nurses just sat in the waiting room with him for me and were so kind and nice about it.
Sometimes things just aren't easy and unfortunately paying for childcare isn't an option for everyone

Think you are best ringing the clinic, sometimes they don't mind and a HCA will watch them for 5 minutes in one off situations.

Take a diazepam and some ibuprofen before your appointment if you can!

Terrible advice.

Health care providers are not free babysitting services. The OP needs to sort out her childcare in advance of her appointment.

Most people don’t have spare diazepam lying around 🤣