AIBU to this Mumsnet is pretty brutal…

[Newtothis12345]

Just reading through some of the threads- Mumsnet is pretty bloody brutal- should there not be a warning to people feeling low/insecure/sad to be careful! Sort of light hearted but I’m amazed how quickly seemingly bland threads can descend into cat fights, must leave the original poster feeling horrible seeing all the nasty things people can write about them. Posters often fixate on one tiny piece of information in the original post and tear the person to threads. Be nice!

The criticism can be very helpful. I've had brutal replies to some threads I've started but the mix helps me figure it all out.

You don't have to agree or take notice or the derailings, it's all just a part of a bigger picture.

If you asked a question to Wembley Stadium you would get a right mix of responses. What assumptions people make matters very little too. They are total strangers who don't know us and we don't know them. If they assume it's their lack of an informed response that's the issue, not the poster.

I do often worry about the actual person at the other end of a thread who has reached out for support, often because they have very little in real life and just had their arse handed to them. It's all very well telling people to be robust, how about we try telling people not to be twats?

Yep, even people in terrible situations need to bear in mind that not everyone is going to respond how they would like. Protect yourself if you are vulnerable and don't post on an anonymous forum if you can't deal with responses.

This comes up every week. Post in the other forums for advice. Not in AIBU.

Lovely first post, @Newtothis12345. Welcome to Mumsnet! It's always so warming when a new person walks into any gathering and immediately informs everyone that they're horrible, wrong, and instructs them how to be better. You must be very popular everywhere you go.

I personally wouldn't start a post on here as l trust my own judgement but l also think a lot of posts on here are not genuine.

The site is full of bitter people that offer advice that they wish they had the nerve to follow themselves. Hence any question about a minor disagreement with a husband is met with calls to leave him.

MN prides its self on being anti kind.

It lets users change name at will so it attracts a certain kind of internet ‘user’. But the rules say you can’t call them out so they continue post.

There are too much group think on the site so if you have a different perspective the ‘user’ piles on.

All this combined creates a toxic, pearl clutching, This Morning watching, argumentative, JK loving, eater bonnet wearing, uptight, salad eating, hot bed of wacky.

Well, there's always Netmums if you are keen on being kind and calling JK Rowling transphobic.

It can be brutal but it's the internet, which can be brutal anywhere. If the internet in general is going to start posting trigger warnings about using it then absolutely yes mumsnet should also have a trigger warning for being online

Aaaand bingo 🤣

I find that alot of women on here do a lot of man bashing but if it's a woman thats done wrong well some of the MNetters are all on her side .
It has become very toxic. i once put a post up and all the comments where do you have a job / work on your typing skills / where's the full stop /get some mates /why dont you know anyone etc .
I dont post anymore but i do try to stick up for some posters as not all but most are awful.

Yes, poor ickle men. Getting bashed in a corner of the internet.

Well if you post your question on a public forum asking for unbiased opinions, that's what you'll get.

If you're a fragile person it's probably not the idea..

You can usually tell how the rest of the thread will go based on the first reply

Posters are often professionally successful women but actually fail to form their own opinions - I see this in the trend of the first reply sets the tone. If someone is supportive, the rest will follow except the odd one. But when a viper starts it on a negative tone, the bitchy onslaught defends on the OP.

Didn’t see your post before I replied but exactly what I said!

AIBU is not where you come for support.

AIBU is where you come for some robust debate on a good day, an absolute pasting on a day and on a very rare day find people mostly agreeing with you.

All the other boards are fine.

^bad day

Lol. I’ve been on here for almost 15 years. When I had my son about 10 years ago I posted as very anxious and depressed new mother about attachment parenting. I got my ass handed to me and didn’t post for another 3 years.

Did you post in AIBU?

Gosh. There hasn't been a thread like this for at least a day or two.

Yes. Because of volume of traffic.

Word of advice OP...never, ever post anything that contains the words "I'm a step-mum....." it will not end well.

I don’t mind it. If you can shake off the following you round the boards types.