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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm not unreasonable here am I?

48 replies

weirdas · 06/06/2023 21:55

So dh works full time, I work 10 hrs a week. Mon-Fri all house/kids/admin is my responsibility . Weekend we share it.

Today dh worked from home, I asked if he would walk dog before work so I could get some housework done. He agreed. He didn't wipe the dogs feet after the walk so the dog has walked mud across living room and kitchen. I'm irritated as I typically have to remind him to dry digs feet.

Fast forward to evening, I'm going out to my class, dh is putting kids to bed. I asked him after kids in bed to mop the floor to get rid of the mud. He looks annoyed but agrees. He has done it but now he's being off with me. My view is he made the mess he should clean it. Do you agree or shoul I have cleaned it with his hours.

OP posts:
Ilovetea42 · 06/06/2023 21:59

You're an equal partner not a maid. It's fair with your hours to take on the bulk of housework fair enough, but I don't think that should ever include cleaning up after your dh because he can't clean up after himself. So I'd probably try and chat to him about it, and say you felt he maybe thought it was your responsibility but you see the division of labour as you do x tasks on a routine through the week to keep things going in the house, but if he's making additional mess like walking in muck or spills something etc then you think it's reasonable for him to clean up after himself so he's helping maintain the work you're already doing?

ThatFraggle · 06/06/2023 22:00

YANBU

Dacadactyl · 06/06/2023 22:02

I dont necessarily think either of you are being unreasonable. If he is otherwise a good husband and father, I possibly wouldve just cleaned the floor myself tbh.

However, if I was feeling annoyed about other stuff/kids/work etc then I'd have asked him to do it too. I probably wouldn't have waited all day for the mud to dry in to have asked him to do it though.

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 06/06/2023 22:03

He should have done the dog's feet initially then... Sulking is so unattractive
Exh's idea of helping was getting dc up on Saturday mornings and then sending them to play in their bedrooms. Beside our room.
While he napped on the sofa.. Them sulked I wasn't grateful for my lie in...

Azandme · 06/06/2023 22:05

You left mud all over the floor all day, and up until your husband was doing bedtime to make a point?!

Wow that's...batshit!

Restinggoddess · 06/06/2023 22:07

Not unreasonable at all

I refuse to tidy up after DH - sometimes this takes phenomenal effort. ( things left out for ages)
If you tidy up after him he will always assume the cleaning fairy has been in.
Its finding the way to ‘remind’ them to tidy up -otherwise we are of course… a nag

Happy days!

Macaroni46 · 06/06/2023 22:09

I think I'd have just cleaned it up. You asked him to walk the dog on a work day and he did it. WFH is still working. Yes, he was careless not to have wiped the dog's feet but dogs are messy.

Presentideasplease · 06/06/2023 22:10

YANBU. It’s not that hard to wipe the dog’s feet when you come in. He should have done that. He didn’t, he cleans the mess.

Loopyloo159 · 06/06/2023 22:13

Azandme · 06/06/2023 22:05

You left mud all over the floor all day, and up until your husband was doing bedtime to make a point?!

Wow that's...batshit!

Agree . Comes across as petty .

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 06/06/2023 22:18

So op should finish his half arsed jobs off? His idea being you just won't ask him again.
Think again toss pot

BleakMostly · 06/06/2023 22:20

He should be embarrassed at leaving the house a mess all day.

RebeccaMillett · 06/06/2023 22:21

YANBU

Lacucuracha · 06/06/2023 22:21

Azandme · 06/06/2023 22:05

You left mud all over the floor all day, and up until your husband was doing bedtime to make a point?!

Wow that's...batshit!

DH was home too so he also left the mud all day.

He made the mess, he should clean it.

Lacucuracha · 06/06/2023 22:22

Loopyloo159 · 06/06/2023 22:13

Agree . Comes across as petty .

Show quote history

Petty not to clean the mud when he made the mess and was home all day?

supersonicginandtonic · 06/06/2023 22:22

@Lacucuracha he was working, it should be treated the same as him being in the workplace.

Lacucuracha · 06/06/2023 22:24

supersonicginandtonic · 06/06/2023 22:22

@Lacucuracha he was working, it should be treated the same as him being in the workplace.

Nope, he doesn’t get to let a dog leave muddy footprints and then not clean them up. OP is not his skivvy.

Tilllly · 06/06/2023 22:34

Azandme · 06/06/2023 22:05

You left mud all over the floor all day, and up until your husband was doing bedtime to make a point?!

Wow that's...batshit!

Nah, that's hilariously hardcore 😁

LadyJ2023 · 06/06/2023 22:34

I'm sorry your petty you asked him to walk dog and he did it and you kick off about a bit of mud and leave it all day. Tbh I would be mad at you not the other way around. Walk the dog next time yourself then. Hardly major to quickly wipe floor after dog as he did walk it before his day at work right!! Wouldn't treat my hubby like that and not only that he worked all day and you go to class and leave kids so for a good hubby your pathetic

KarmaStar · 06/06/2023 22:50

You left it all day to prove a point ? I would just have cleaned it,takes two minutes.life's too short for point scoring.

changeyerheadworzel · 06/06/2023 22:52

Petty

Macaroni46 · 06/06/2023 22:57

Agree with other posters. Seems petty to leave the mud all day. DH was working. Sounds like he pulls his weight normally and I'm sure there are times when you don't execute a task completely.
It's no wonder so many marriages don't survive with this level of pettiness and lack of give and take!

Original poster
weirdas · 07/06/2023 04:49

Tbf I was out till lunchtime and only spotted it then. Dh was sat in the same room at the time and had been for hours. I was in and out all day, my first opportunity to clean it would have been either 9pm last night or when I get up this morning.

The first time this happened I cleaned it myself, and several times after that. I figured if he cleans it he might remember to wipe the dogs feet in the future.

OP posts:
Riapia · 07/06/2023 08:53

Ah, the wonderfully, illogically, batshit world of MN. Amusing to visit, wouldn’t want to live there.
😉😁😁

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 07/06/2023 08:59

You're not being petty.

Walking the dog also means cleaning up after said dog when you get home.

Loopyloo159 · 07/06/2023 10:04

I think telling husband ( or anyone ) to clear up a bit of mud hours later is treating him like a child . If I was him I would definitely be pissed off with the PA vibe .
FWIW my husband walks the dog every morning and occasionally there are muddy paw prints in hallway. I just get a floor wipe and do it in seconds if he has forgotten to do it .Am just glad I have time to do something else, rather than dog walking .