Thank you so much to everybody taking the time to reply! I have read every single one. I’ve had a bit of an emotional morning to be honest 😂 Im definitely going to reset and take on some of your practical ideas. it’s been really useful to read what some of you do / did. But also not put too much pressure on myself. I think I was expecting things to get easier sooner than they actually have. Really appreciate the kind responses.
Also to one PP, my children were not planned. The idea that parents are naive to the difficulties of life with children is an interesting take. Can you ever really plan for what life will be like after you have children? Everybody has different experiences, different outcomes, every child has different personalities / needs. The spectrum is so broad, I believe it’s naive to think that individuals can know exactly how things will be or the difficulties they will face. Circumstances can change and a lot of the time until you are living that experience, you cannot truly know. Whilst I respect that may be your experience of parents, it is not mine or of any parents I know. This site is for getting advice from others on how to deal with all sorts of things - not to be told (in so many words) you are naive for having children in the first place.
In regards to my husband working 12 hour shifts, he would absolutely be supportive of me going to the gym in the evening when he gets home from work. The issue at the moment is I am too tired by that point in the day which is one of the reasons why I don’t do it currently. By the time he gets home, our children are usually asleep in bed so looking after (his own) children during this time would involve being in the house whilst they sleep, doing the things he usually does. I believe it’s fuzzy thinking to expect the stay at home parent to do 24hrs of childcare, whilst the working parent does 0 hours during the day when at work (obviously), and 0 hours when they get home from their working day incase they’re too tired. He works in an office based job, so it is not physically tiring although he is of course understandably tired too. The reason I stay at home with the children is to allow him to further his career as that’s what he wants to do, it also allows our children to have their mother at home with them, while saving us having to pay expensive childcare costs. We are both grateful to the other and both understand we have to make sacrifices for our choices, as many people do. If he gets home from work and is struggling, I will pick up the slack, equally if I’m struggling when he gets home he picks up the slack.
But anyway as others have pointed out I don’t necessarily have to join a gym to keep fit! Maybe that’s something for down the line. Also definitely agree that exercise actually gives me more energy! I just need to get back into things, really needed this to take a step back from being swamped in motherhood. Thanks
everyone xx
(FYI I absolutely cannot just take a nap during the day😂 that would be very irresponsible of me when in charge of 2 young children. Not that I would be able to even if I wanted to)