If you came into some money/won the lottery, would you be a single parent?

[Howniceforyou]

I think I would.

I own my own money, have a degree and a career but it’s unlikely I’d easily survive on my own wage.
Gradually drifted apart from Dh, we get on sometimes, but tend to live sort of together, yet apart. I see friends a fair bit and take Dd, 4 on lots of play dates, we do family bits and are *Ok. I honestly sometimes think it might be easier alone, if you had lots of money and family support (I live away from mine but could move back if had more money)
I have a few wealthy friends who raise their children mainly alone and they’re very happy and have a fantastic bond with their Dds
I don’t know, maybe I’m living in a fantasy thinking that

He did that out of spite knowing it would cost you £££ to fight your corner . Stupid vindictive man .

I was a single parent even though I wasn't wealthy. We were very happy. Id do it again.

@Deathbyfluffy @HaPPy8 Using him for his wallet?!! Do you know anything about my life? I make the same amount. Im
abroad, I cannot support myself on the crappy wages where I am, even though my wage is considered high for where I am, I would not survive, but I’m trapped as can’t take my dc out of the country
My Dh is not wealthy, you have no idea
using him for his wallet is laughable

No - because I don't want to leave my DP, but tbh even if I did it's not just money that makes me want to be in a partnership, it's also "sharing the load" with the kids. So no, because I'd find that really hard work.

I’m in my fifties now so looking back at my friends and purely anecdotal evidence we appear to have some really successful long term 20 year plus relationships and some that have failed.

I would suggest that you attempt to do something about it, have a discussion for starters and it won’t just be one chat that sorts it out. There must be a reason you got together in the first place. If it was love then you have a chance to rekindle, if it was just for convenience and you wanted children then you have both messed up and it was doomed to fail. This was the case of a friend of mine she just wanted children and didn’t even like the guy that much.

DH and I celebrated our 24 year wedding anniversary recently. We have had one blip in all those years where we had drifted. A series of very stressful and upsetting bereavements over 3 years including 3 of our parents of which both our Fathers had cancer and DH had to fly overseas many times over two years to visit him and then horrendous issues sorting out their estates meant we were both actually very miserable. We were also at sort of peak career level where it was this is what you will attain in life so the stress was unbearable.

Really it boils down to did you two ever like/love each other ever.

@aSofaNearYou the problem is when the love for that other person disappears but the alternative is much more difficult. Winning to lottery would make this less difficult. You could not work, get a cleaner, pay for a tutor, etc.
There are way more women who would be single parents if they could afford it.

I read somewhere that if finances were in place then 75% of people would go it alone . You read it all the time on here when people post about a relationship problem, most people say leave him , but it's not that simple , especially with the housing situation as it is . It takes courage planning and money to get up and go . My sister had to wait until her youngest was able to be at home by themselves before she got a FT job , was able to save to set herself free .

No way. I like DH. He keeps me warm at night and can open jar lids.

Yeah, I do get that. But my DC are still very young, one is a baby, and I wouldn't really like the thought of her being cared for by somebody else for a lot of the time, meaning my options are do it all myself, or share the load with her dad.

I might feel differently if I really didn't want to be with him though!

And then there's the feelings of wanting my DC to grow up with both parents, as well as the fact that I would want companionship myself. I wouldn't choose to be single if money were no issue, even if I chose not to be in this relationship.

I'm a single parent (working full time - higher rate taxpayer - no benefits - if the idiot poster up thread is interested!) 3 young children

Interesting question but being a single parent is hard. I didn't have children to only see them 50/50 either so for me....I don't think a lottery win would have made a difference. I also didn't have children to raise them alone. I don't think my children get the best of me because parenting is all on me (dad doesn't see them much)

We would probably be happier without money pressures, so no. Would definitely have our own bathrooms though!

If I was in a loveless relationship I wouldn't stay regardless of money. But im in a happy relationship, 4 kids love hubby to pieces, we have a good balance between kids and us and share everything, do everything equally

No, I’d hire an amazing nanny to help and give me and DH a bit of breathing space.

A lot of our relationship struggles are born from the pressure of a young family, busy full time jobs and not having any real opportunity for a break - we don’t have any local family to have kids for an afternoon or grandparents to have them overnight etc. We get very little time to ourselves to decompress and very little time just as a couple.

If we could take away the financial burden of having to work or have the available funds to hire a really good nanny, our lives would be transformed. We’re definitely happy but a lottery win would absolutely afford us a lot more happiness!

Totally agree. I left with 2 young DS and coped. They are now teens and I am married to new DH who I adore, would never leave him.

Nope. I love and adore my dh. Why would I wanted to leave him even if I had unlimited money?

I think once you've reached that stage of questioning your relationship is over. You are ultimately only staying with them for the money they bring. It's really akin to using them and so quite disrespectful.

I think the honest thing to do is to leave and adjust your lifestyle accordingly or make working on your relationship the main focus

No way. I love my partner and have no desire to leave him on an emotional level. It wouldn't even cross my mind to not use a lottery win/inheritance for both of us and our life together.

And on a practical one, even if I didn't love him anymore I would not cope as a single parent. I'm a SAHM and being able to share the workload and mental load at the end of the work day is vital to my sanity. Money wouldn't help with that.

Yes, for sure. I think it's more common to think this than people realise.

@RecklessBlackberries you should really learn to recognise your own self worth. If your dh ran off what would you do? You'd be absolutely fine. Don't doubt yourself!

I already am a single parent and haven't won the lottery! Would be rather lovely though, wouldn't it.
And I work, too, it's just for very little money.

I’m a single mum but I have a decent job and so manage well. I’m a higher rate taxpayer too so paying for trolls like @Miss01

I’m already a co-parent. Got an amicable relationship with my ex and both agreed to work together to put our DS first.

Money is tight though but I’ve learned to live on less than I used to - without claiming benefits - just adding that for the judgemental.

If I did have a decent lottery win, I’d pay my mortgage off and also help my ex pay his off too as ultimately our son will benefit in the long term

@SamW98 you sound genuinely decent, well done for being so amicable.

No but we would have an absolute ball spending the money together. We've just both had a week off and it was lovely. We were saying how amazing if this was everyday life and we didn't have to work!