If you came into some money/won the lottery, would you be a single parent?

[Howniceforyou]

I think I would.

I own my own money, have a degree and a career but it’s unlikely I’d easily survive on my own wage.
Gradually drifted apart from Dh, we get on sometimes, but tend to live sort of together, yet apart. I see friends a fair bit and take Dd, 4 on lots of play dates, we do family bits and are *Ok. I honestly sometimes think it might be easier alone, if you had lots of money and family support (I live away from mine but could move back if had more money)
I have a few wealthy friends who raise their children mainly alone and they’re very happy and have a fantastic bond with their Dds
I don’t know, maybe I’m living in a fantasy thinking that

Bizarre question but no because I love my husband!

@Miss01 or should I say Miss Daily Mail! What a glorious person you are.

Your poor husband. You are just using him for his money. Leave him so he can build a life with someone who values him as a person not for his cash.

What a twat you are.

I already did. Life was financially very tough for a few years, but DD and I were immediately happier. No amount of money or financial security would have kept me in an unhappy and unfulfilled marriage tbh, so perhaps you should flip the question and ask why you're happy to compromise your own and your children's happiness and well-being to stay in a loveless but financially comfortable marriage?

This. I could never stay with somebody because of money

No way. We already have a lot of disposable income but that pales in comparison to the support you get from raising a child together in a loving relationship.

I don't think I'm cut out to be a single parent honestly, my husband is an amazing dad and does so much for our family. I'd really struggle without him.

I've been a single parent before and I didn't need to win the lottery to be able to leave my ex. Just have enough self respect and desire for a better life for my dc. And yes I claimed benefits for quite some time, which I didn't feel any shame in doing, it is just how society supports those who are in that position and I have no concerns about supporting single parents now that I'm financially more comfortable and no longer single.

My new DH is a great dad though I don't need his financial contribution, I am with him because I love him, we're a good team and I enjoy his company.

I've been a single parent since DD(13) was 3 months old and if you'd asked me even 3 years ago I would have said go for it. But it's starting to take its toll now. I had her very young and I feel like so many people give it the "dont you know how hard having a baby is" spiel... but what they don't really say is just how loooooong the slog is. I found having a baby fine. A toddler easier. A primary aged child a piece of cake. But yeah after 13 years of it I am mentally and physically exhausted/ drained. Love her to bits but I wish I'd done it with a decent partner and gave the relationship 100% effort.

😂

My dc are adults but yes, if I had the money to just up and go without the drama of selling the house and splitting assets I would do so (I'd give him half the money!)

In your circs then yes. In my circs, absolutely not. DH is away on business this week and it’s really hard without him. That’s not the only reason though, I adore my DH, he’s an amazing guy. I wish you all the best. Life is too short to be unhappy.

I already am a single parent and cope ok with what I've got. I look at friends in unhappy marriages and wonder why they put up with it. No big house, car or holiday is worth a lifetime of misery.

Yes, there are no doubt many couples who are together because financially its easier, just as there are for the sake of the kids, or for many other reasons.

Ultimately though you only have one life and you have to decide on what side it would be happiest.

No, like someone else said we're a great parenting team and I really respect him as the father of my children. I don't have anywhere near the same amount of trust for anyone else as I do him. I also can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my time with. If money was no object I would buy in more help at home with the children, as it is we haven't had any time alone together for almost 2 years and I really miss it. If anything happened to him I wouldn't be bothered with a new relationship either, he's the only other person I would live with apart from the children :)

Regardless of finances, the time and energy required to be a ‘present’ parent , with a spouse , is exhausting.
So I completely understand your sentiments Catsmere.

My dh - no way

My exdh hell yes, didn't even take a lottery win. Honestly op I'd start to think about leaving now, your living a half life and there is so much more out there for you, if you just left. You say you can support yourself financially, then do it. Life is too short to live in a half relationship.

Single parent, large inheritance means no mortgage and I work fulltime. I am so grateful that I don't need a man, so I can stay single and support my DC easily on one modest wage.

In my case, definitely not. In fact I'd have at least another 2 kids if I had the money to not work and provide everything I wanted for them

I have a friend like you. She says she won't get divorced until the kids are grown up because she doesn't want to go back to work and not be there for them like she is now (SAHM) and she doesn't trust her husband to do the right thing and continue to pay for the kids' activities and holidays etc if they split. I just find it sad that she's staying with someone she wouldn't even trust to provide for his kids. So she would definitely split if she won the lottery.

Me I'm happily married so no. Hoping DH will be my person to grow old with.

No, I wouldn't. I am happy in my relationship.

But I've been a single parent on v little money and it was a million tines easier and nicer than parenting in a crappy relationship. I think you should look at what you really need and not sell yourself short. Cost of living is higher these days but you don't necessarily need a high income to live, especially if your main form of socialising is playdates and visiting friends.

Alternatively talk to your husband and see if you can resolve your differences?

This seems a bit drastic, OP. Most of the respondents who left, did so because their ‘relationships’ were in much worst case than yours , violence, active abuse, infidelity.

You just seem a bit bored and fed up. Is it posssible to try and put a bit of spark back into your relationship ( and no, I am not Pamela Stephenson, I don’t mean dressing up in sexy underwear), I mean just by talking more, doing stuff together which you are both interested in - the sort of things which got you together in the first place.

as time goes on, the L O will be more self sufficient and you will have more time to yourselves. Don’t give up yet
xxxx

People say things like 'no amount of money would make me stay in an unhappy relationship' but it's much tougher than a lot of people think. For many women it can mean having to move house, move their childrens school, move jobs. I did it this year and I've had thousands of occasions where I've doubted myself.
Yes I am happier but I only see my kids on Saturdays, their dad has them on Sundays, I work full time so when I get home it's the tea, bedtime routine, tiny clean up. I get less time to play with them as there is no other person to make lunchboxes, wash up, hang washing out. I go to bed at the same time as them every night otherwise I don't have the energy to do it all again the next day! My ex won't have them on a night due to his living situation, plus he's 'not taking care of them so you can shag around'. So I have no social life apart from the odd friend who wants to hang out on a Sunday with someone with no kids.
I don't regret it. But let's not make out it's an easy decision to make or that life as a single parent is all rainbows and orgasms.

I'd actually like to have the same set up as Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton. Two houses with an ajoining door.

Thank you!

I love that your username is my cat’s name 😸. (She doesn’t consider me quite up to her standards as a meowther, I’m sure.)

My thoughts exactly.
Either work on your marriage, or let him go so he can find someone who values him for more than his wallet.