To be scared of running alone

[Allyoli]

I'm training for a half marathon. Even though it's very nice, I'm getting a bit bored of doing 5k laps of my local park. Ideally I'd run along a beautiful, but fairly isolated river path near where I live, and through a wildlife reserve. Not a lot of people use the path, maybe an odd cyclist or dog walker, and once you're on it, there's nowhere to exit until you're at the end. It takes maybe 20-30 minutes to run along.

But I don't feel safe running alone there. Am I being overly anxious? I'm struggling to find long running routes that don't involve isolated areas, and sticking to streets and busy main roads takes a lot of the enjoyment out of running for me. Tbh I'm sick of having to miss out on outdoorsy things I want to do alone (hiking, birdwatching, running) because of the risk of being attacked as a lone woman. How do you plan safe, long distance running routes?

I get you.

I only run in the daylight, I wear a very baggy top and I take an attack alarm with me.

It's fucking awful really that we have to take measures like this.

No, you’re not being over anxious.
Are there any running groups nearby? Lots of people run in groups purely for safety reasons.

I understand.
I feel the same.
I wish I had the time to train and look after a very big dog whom I could trust to protect me.
After retirement I will have one.
Its so unfair that we have to think like this.

I'd feel the same way. It sucks.

I can't run long distances any more, but I used to. I happily ran in fairly isolated areas in the countryside tbh. I was never worried about safety except for potentially getting stranded by spraining an ankle or something, but I always took my phone.

I only do isolated routes with a friend or DH as when I've done one or two isolated runs in the past, I've felt quite vulnerable and not really enjoyed the run.
Its a shame really, but I stick to parks and streets when on my own.

I don't feel anxious like you and am happy to go to isolated spots on my own or with the dog. But we're all different so you're not at all unreasonable to be anxious. On the contrary, I think you're very wise to stick to areas where you feel comfortable. Are there any places you could drive to that would make a change but feel safe? Or any running clubs you could join that go to more varied places?

I have just always gone for it. Wouldn't when it gets dark. But am always out in woods or isolated paths in nature alone in day. Am I more likely to get attacked then someone who stays indoors? Probably. But (very luckily) I have managed to avoid this in 35 years so far. For me it is all about the question

• how much risk am I willing to take to live a fulfilling life.

And for me freedom and adventure are slightly more important than safety. I not to have to return in a few years with mt tail beyween my legs when I change my privileged tune after something bad happens! Funnily enough, I work as a trauma therapist. You would think out of anyone I would know the risks!

I used to feel like you then had a ‘fuck it’ moment a few years ago and now very deliberately run wherever the fuck I want. I decided I would rather live my life with a (small amount of) risk rather than limit it.

I do however, have a phone enabled watch so that I can call for help, have trackers etc set up on it, and always let people know my route in advance.

I massively agree with this response. Not at all minimising your fear OP and I don't think you're overly anxious. I just won't let creeps keep me from enjoying what I love - hiking and running alone in nature. I also have a weird hobby that takes me onto very isolated patches of the thames at low tide. I sometimes feel a bit spooked when a random man appears but my love of being alone and independent overrides the fear. It fucking sucks that we have to have to even have these discussions though. So unfair.

I feel the same. There's been the odd mugging in my small town, particularly in the park. I'd also like music for motivation but definitely wouldn't feel safe without being able to hear someone coming up behind me. So I work out indoors.

I'm totally with both of you @Sunnyfeelgood and@Evaka but feel similarly to @GentlyGentlyOhDear. I think fuck it and try to do it anyway, but I end up so over alert, on edge and anxious that I just don't enjoy it.

I run and much prefer footpaths, country lanes etc to main roads and at this time of year I love that it's light enough to use them in the evening.
I never think of being unsafe (maybe naively, maybe fortunately that I've never heard of people being mugged or attacked nearby)
I do prefer to run with friends on longer runs though just because it's nicer to pass the time with someone else. I would maybe see if there's a local running club or even ask on a local fb page if any other women were interested in running together

I run on my own on footpaths, trails and canal towpaths about once a week. Every so often I wonder if it's the right thing to do, but then I feel cross that I feel that way, and that means I'm more driven to do it. I think the risk of something bad happened are greater on a busy road than on a trail. And the risk of something happening in either of those locations is tiny.

Bone conducting headphones are great for being able to hear music and also hear your surroundings. They sit in front of your ear and don't block your hearing capabilities, but you can miraculously still hear the music perfectly.

However, I do somewhat dislike the idea of having to protect ourselves in certain ways. Because it makes us a little misguided in terms of how much we can protect ourselves. Realistically, if I heard someone running behind me and their intent was to bring me to the ground. Regardless of whether I heard footsteps for 10 seconds or didn't notice it until they were on me, they are still taking me down.

This isn't to say don't do things to keep yourself safe. Of course we must. But if a predator wants to get someone, they will do it regardless of whether we are on a busy road that is well lit, wearing jeans and trainers with no headphones, no visible bag, on phone to partner etc etc.

I will probably get eaten alive for this comment but I used to use that fear to spur me on to run faster. I don't recommend that though unless you are odd like me.
Maybe join a running group?

I run on trails alone and my favourite time to go is dusk which is too late at the mo so I'm a little put out by the super light nights. But I live in a safe area - I'm sure I'd be different if there had been instances of muggings or attacks but I don't let the lone woman running be a problem in itself so I'll continue while I have the luxury of living in a safe place.

Statistically the greater danger is from men that women know rather than isolated stranger attacks.

I feel most relaxed in quiet countryside. I do keep my eyes open more around the cycle paths by the river and canals as they're quiet but "known". But running and long distance running is good for me. Getting on to flat routes like those is good for me. To avoid them out of a very low incident fear is to deny myself a lot of good that will occur and accumulate through every run.

General safety advice, mix your habits so you can't be anticipated on a route at a certain time. Use bone conducting headphones so you can hear your surroundings if you like music/ podcasts. Look around you at intervals. Head up and look confident.

Why would you get eaten alive for that comment? It's a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Using your fear to motivate you obviously works for you and I'm sure many others. I plan to move in the next few years to a place I know very well that is super safe (not in uk) exactly so I can go for walks in forests and mountains by myself and not feel scared.

@Ohfgsjon

Because I was guessing some people would think I was irresponsible. You never know on this site sometimes people react massively over various comments.

But thanks I guess haha and your planned move sounds amazing

I think you are being over anxious but it’s understandable given the amount of attention given to the very rare cases of women being attacked by strangers.

If you possibly can, try and do it - it will add such a lot to your life. Get a rape alarm / tracker on your phone and a pepper spray? And maybe one of those trackers hidden in your clothes if you want to go full Jane Bond

I think there is a balance between not letting fear rule your life and being sensible. Running alone a towpath would be fine for me, especially during daylight. I refuse to run through a wood near my house, even though the long route round is miles further and hillier, and it’s a notorious dogging spot and there have been regular reports of people being flashed/coming across lone men with their bits out and worse. In the winter I stick to main roads with footpaths and use a head torch. I wouldn’t run on trails in the dark as I’m scared of falling over! Are there no pavements near you?

Agree OP . I stick to parks when walking the dog because I am so uptight if I am on my own anywhere that is isolated.
Have always been like this !

I'm another who just heads out for a run without giving the surroundings much thought. I tend to run before work (6am) so it's pretty quiet then. I am mainly on the road but cut through a couple of quieter spots but have always felt safe.

Rightly or wrongly, I always think things won't happen to me. Not minimising other people's thoughts though, looking at my friends there are less of us like me and more people who are worried when out on their own.