To say something about language spoken at work

[Babbleoff]

Im in an english speaking country. I have started working in an office where the majority of other employees are from another country. They speak their own language all of the time. I mean, ALL of the time!! Whether its office banter or actual work issues, all in their language.

I am very experienced, have been employed for my specialist skills and am relatively senior, altho its a small company with a fairly flat structure.

I am feeling very excluded and struggling to fit in due to the fact that i dont speak the other language. I find it rude that in a small and close working environment no consideration is given to english speakers. The other couple of english speakers are much more junior than me and i don't think they'd say anything.

I make an effort to talk to people. On occasions a conversation i have started gets picked up by someone else and they take over and continue in their language. At lunch they speak their language even if im sitting with them.

AIBU to raise this with my boss? I feel like a dick suggesting people dont speak their own language, but ive been upset almost to the point of tears about this. I can go all day without being included in any conversations unless i start them myself. I feel so stupid even about that because ive been working for yrs and have very thick skin (bit of a cutthroat industry).

i should also point out that speaking their language is not necessary for the job and was not a requirement or mentioned during hiring process.

What a silly argument! They chose to go and live and work in a country where their language is not spoken. It's also their choice to exclude their colleague by not speaking the common language in their workplace. It would be no different to a bunch of Brits going to work in Spain and speaking only English at work, knowing that their colleague couldn't understand.

It's not OP's fault that she doesn't speak their language and was not told that the job required this.

Did you want to be included? Did you need to be included in order to do your job?

What was your reason for asking them to stop?

It's important to understand that OP is not talking here about purely social conversations taking place in a language she doesn't understand.

I have Welsh friends who would consider their first language Welsh

This is a weird way to put it - is their first language Welsh or not? (There's an implication there that they think their first language is Welsh but it isn't really.)

Fwiw on the Welsh thing, I work in an office with welsh speakers (not in any of the sectors mentioned previously) and they speak Welsh to each other sometimes. I don't mind, why shouldn't they? If they're talking to someone who can't speak Welsh, or if it's a group discussion involving people who can't speak Welsh, they switch to English. They email each other in Welsh but anything that needs to be read and understood more widely is always in english. I'm sure some feel that they shouldn't have to avoid speaking Welsh in Wales just because there happens to be someone in the room (not part of the conversation) who hasn't learned it.

I work in an international environment and occasionally if there is a whole group who speak the other language and it is felt by everyone that a certain point can be handled better in that language then we do that. I'm asked if I'm confortable with that, and they then report back what was agreed. It works really well when managed correctly. Completely different to your situation.

I find the Welsh argument interesting. If Welsh speakers who are perfectly fluent in English need to communicate with someone who only speaks English, why wouldn't they converse in English? Anything else is bloody rude and unprofessional. I find it fascinating that some posters think that the OP would be U if the language is Welsh but R if it isn't Welsh. Either way, these people can speak English but deliberately don't even though OP needs to know what they are saying. That is bloody unprofessional and rude, no matter what the language is! I speak Irish but I know that most Irish people around me don't so I don't speak it - easy!

I guess the difference would be that Welsh is an official language in Wales? Obviously English is too, but if Welsh is accepted as one of the working languages in an office, then it's not quite the same as the situation described here.

Posters saying the OP should be learning the language really live on a different planet. Back on Earth, it's very rude and unprofessional to speak in a language your colleagues can't understand.

Exactly this. Just ignorant and rude..

Please note that Welsh is a protected language. This isn't about that at all. I am half Welsh and speak a little bit of the language. Anyone that tries is hugely welcome, ditto Gaelic and Cornish. The OP was referencing a European language that in a English based company wasn't used and she had felt she was excluded. No Welsh bashing here and although I speak five languages I never get asked to do so other than ordering drinks! Courtesy dictates you include others, anything else is rude.

^That really.

It is incredibly rude.

If they’re both from the same country why would they speak English if no company policy? I know I never speak English to my French and German speaking friends. This is something your company needs to address if it’s upsetting you this much.

YANBU it's rude

But it’s incredibly rude

Who is "both"? This is all OP's colleagues other than two junior ones, including her manager, who are doing business in a language she doesn't speak.

OP Just out of interest are your colleagues Polish speakers?

No, not Polish.

I spoke to boss today who didn't seem surprised by what i had to say, quite accepting, so i think he was aware on some level. I think he may have been surprised tho at the extent to which it has impacted me and my feeling excluded and not integrated into the team. I did hold it together but I think he could sense my upset. He seemed to get it and was saying the right things about not letting this carry on. I made it clear that me staying hinges on things changing. I can of course be replaced but I think we’d both like to avoid that if we can make it work. All i can do now is wait and see if he has the backbone to take the team on and lead the change.

Oh and there was definitely no suggestion that I need to learn their language.

Of course you don’t need to learn the language.

Glad you had the convo - I hope things improve for you.

And as for the posters trying to guess which language it is - give it up. The OP isn’t going to say for quite obvious reasons.

I have also worked somewhere with a lot of Europeans and in a similar situation. At one point I was also told to learn one particular language. I was a team leader. My answer was no. I had people from multiple countries on my team. They would hire people who couldn't speak English. I learnt to live with it, I just zoned out

If Welsh speakers who are perfectly fluent in English need to communicate with someone who only speaks English, why wouldn't they converse in English?

They would.

@SoTedious

Why shouldn't they use their protected language? They maybe far more comfortable communicating in their preferred language. Welsh was oppressed for years and people caught speaking it punished.
Its also quite normal to naturally use the language you are regularly use with a group of people ie known ceri for years always converse in Welsh. To then have to change to a different language can feel disjointed and alien.
It is time people gave minority languages of this country the respect they deserve. If you don't understand the language used in your location. Then you should accept that people aren't always going to adapt to you. Work in Wales then accept you need to at least make a token effort to learn the language
I appreciate OP situation is different as it is not a UK recognised language that the team members are using.

@SoTedious
My apologies that was for the person you quoted and not yourself

I agree with everything you say 👏

I'm glad you spoke to your boss and hopefully things will change.
I'm a European living in the UK and wouldn't dream of acting this way. I worked with some colleagues from my country and we only spoke in our native language in 1:1 situations. I think it's rude to exclude others like that in social situations, but at work it's completely wrong.
I hope your colleagues will understand it and make sure you feel like part of the team from now on.

Glad you had the conversation OP and that he seemed receptive to it. Do let us know if things change.