Is it normal to be THIS tired with one child

[Willitheanicesunset]

I’m tired..nearly all the time, Dh is too.
We have an amazing, nearly 5 year old Dd.
We had her later in life due to infertility, I was pregnant at 39, gave birth at 40, Dh is the same age.
We live in a beach/tourist type place. Pre dd, we’d head to the beach after work in summer most nights, sunbathe, swim, drink. There’s nothing saying we can’t do that with Dd now, but by around 6 pm after having dinner and walking the dog, I don’t want to do anything, well, I want to, but can’t work up the energy. In the lighter, warmer months, I’d enjoy walking the dog around the block at sunset, now I’m lay on the sofa.
Dd is a very active, intense child.
I work part time, Dh full time. I previously worked full time and weekends sometimes too, never felt tired.
Is this normal??

Was meant to be ‘Will it be a nice sunset’ for my username..too tired to type it right 😂beautiful, sunny, warm evening and I’m lay in bed next to sleeping Dd

It wouldn't hurt to have a blood test done to rule out the usual suspects - iron, B12, Thyroid, peri menopause, if you've not had them done recently. Kids are tiring though!

Yeah I had my son at 40 too and am often just sooooooo tired at the end of the day (and the start!)
But agree with PP it's worth getting your bloods checked to see if there isn't an underlying problem. I started going to the gym recently and it has increased my energy levels

Apart from that, just get an early night when you can :)

I am in a similar position and feel the same tbh.

You have a 4 year old, work part time and walk your dog regularly so you are not exactly inactive. It would be nice to have the energy for a swim every day too but you have a small child and you are perimenopausal. I think your energy levels, as you describe them, sound pretty typical for your circumstances in life.

If you feel things have dropped off quickly and dramatically it might be worth talking to go about a blood test. But this sounds pretty standard.

@Rumplestrumpet Yes, the mornings are hard too, just want to feel the way I used to when I wake up-refreshed and with energy, not crawling out of bed and moody 🙈

If it is abnormal to be THAT tired, then I, too, am abnormal. I had my daughter at 39 and work full time. Add in a strong-willed child who is fabulous but NEVER stops talking and often refuses bed and I spend most of my time dragging myself through the days. I hate wishing time away but I do sometimes long for the teenage years when you can't dig them out of bed....

How’s your health? Could you be anaemic or thyroid on the blink or something? Are you getting enough sleep?

I’ve got a 4 year old who’s with me bar 2 mornings a week, a 2 month old and I’m working around them as have my own business, 40 and I get tired but that’s mostly because I stay up too late.

I’m anaemic without taking iron and don’t absorb b12 so have injections for that. Without both I’d be no good to anyone. Before I started the iron two years ago I’d have been constantly in tears with exhaustion if I wasn’t too tired to be bothered to cry. It might be something you can get help with, worth checking.

Tbh we figured that we’re tried either way so we may as well do the fun stuff. Why not walk the dog to the beech and eat dinner there?

Are you going to bed early enough to get enough sleep?

We notice a real difference between the weeks where we head to bed around 10 rather than those where we start closer to 9. Especially if DC are waking up before 7

Could be anaemia!

Exactly this. Ask them to check Vit D levels as well.

If it is I am abnormal too. I had my only child at 38 after ivf. I'm now mid-40s and bloody knackered. Blood tests are normal. 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure bloods are sensible.

However, just to add that I am also mum to an only. She's nearly 3, I'm 31, and every day I think 'when she goes to bed I'll do x and y' and every day I come downstairs and sit on the sofa and watch mindless TV. Can't even muster the stamina to make myself a cup of tea!

Any chance you've got gallstones?

I was always tired too so I sympathise. I used to think there must be something wrong with me, had blood tests and they were fine :-). I doubt your age has much to do with it, I was 29 when I had mine. I used to fantasize about being able to sleep for a whole day :-). I coped and adored my child but the exhaustion was awful.

When I returned to work part time I felt much, much better and continued to improve thereafter. Work energised me and I was generally far more organised.

Same here, similar ages, I did feel better after an iron transfusion (ferritin wasn’t anaemic but it seems to be my personal threshold for exhaustion). Small children are intense, tbh though I tend to stay up late in a misguided attempt to get some of my own time back which makes my tiredness worse.

my sister has a 14 months old she had him at 40 and she as said the same she so tired all the time she said she just dont have the energy like she did since having baby her gp said shes all good and put it down to being an older mum as test was all clear ( i dont see 40 old at all )

I echo having a blood test done. I have just the one too and always felt completely exhausted, I figured it was normal and everyone with children probably felt the same, but I had bloods done for another reason and they did a full set and found some deficiencies. I still get tired now but not drop to the sofa as soon as DS is in bed exhausted now I'm addressing it.

I'm like this now after my second child. Had my first at 21 and second at 25. Blood tests all come back normal but I'm just knackered 24/7. I used to be someone who couldn't sleep off the cuff, now I can fall asleep anywhere anytime within minutes and it's frustrating.

I’ll get some blood tests done too, just to be sure, would like our life back!

Not sure about gallstones 🤔 will look up the symptoms etc, thank you 🙏

The same thing happened to me although I'm much worse over the winter months, partly probably due to vit D deficiency and probably partly due to SAD. I have two of them now, 5 and 1 and my god I'm permanently exhausted. Sometimes bloods have shown vit D or iron deficiencies but not always through the entire 5 yrs and even when I've been taking whatever required supplement I've felt no better for it all. And I'm only in my twenties!

My children are all older than yours but I'm the same age as you, and both DH and I are tired all the time also. We regularly have naps.

Not sure it's normal but it's life.

I have 3 kids, 2,6,9 and had the youngest at 39. I'm not as tired as you, but my DH is. Some of us cope better with busy lives than others?

I had my first as a teenager and my youngest is now 8 but she very much enjoys me playing with her and lots of interaction.. I’m 34 now and it is wayyyyy more tiring than having a toddler in my early twenties. Whne I think back to when all 3 were little I don’t know how I coped. I think it’s just about getting older tbh! When they go to my mums for a few days I feel a bit more alive, but not a whole load 😂

I find looking after one child harder than several. My Son is an only child and I’m MUCH less tired when his cousins come to stay as he has others to interact and play with

Do you drink alcohol? I found my evening glass of wine just started sapping my energy levels, likewise diet wise I needed to eat better too (foods just started to disagree with me) I started taking a multi vitamin (with eating well) and that's made a huge difference to my energy overall.

How's your mental health at the moment? Any other stessors in your life?

If its a sudden different change - definitely get it checked with doctor.