Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Distracting him from his sport

65 replies

cricketwag5678 · 03/06/2023 16:13

My boyfriend plays cricket every week, I’ll go and watch him most Saturdays depending on the weather lol.
I’ve been going through a bit of a hard time recently and I’ve been worried he’s going to go off me because of it; but he promises he hasn’t.

Today, I go to watch and I can’t find the ground anywhere. His team were batting but he wasn’t in yet, so I tried to ring him a few times and left a message as I was panicking and couldn’t find the entrance.

Anyway, I find it and get there fine. He went in to bat, got out and came back. I made a joke about how I went to go hug him before he went into bat, and he didn’t hug me back. He said sorry, he didn’t see me. He made a joke about “well it’s breaking superstition, I did well last week and didn’t hug you”. But he didn’t say it in a joke way, so I said “are you serious?”

He told me to calm down, it was a joke, then said I “am beginning to stress him out on a Saturday”. He has a game to focus on, he wants to concentrate on that, he can’t put full focus into the game if I’m nit picking him.

He also said seeing his phone to loads of missed calls and messages when I was lost, he “can’t be doing with”. I said it’s because I got lost, and he said “but you’re not understanding that I am playing cricket and am focusing on that”. He said I should have known he wouldn’t have his phone on him, and I could’ve rung someone else.

I must mention that he is captain and does need to keep an eye on the game.

Am I being harsh or is he being unfair?

OP posts:
CharlottenBurger · 03/06/2023 16:32

I have to admit I don't find sporty men very interesting, and wouldn't have dated any when i was single, but I also see his point of view about being pestered. How much effort would it have taken to find out where the cricket ground entrance was? You do come across a bit drippy. To put it fairly, maybe you aren't well matched as a couple?

edwinbear · 03/06/2023 16:35

YABVU. He’s playing a game, he needs to focus, he can’t be acting as a Sat Nav and hugging his girlfriend in the middle of a game. I’d imagine he feels really embarrassed in front of his team mates.

Seas164 · 03/06/2023 16:38

Find something else to do on a Saturday, sounds like this is enjoyable for neither of you.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 03/06/2023 16:42

Yabu. You can’t ring someone once they’re almost in play. You didn’t NEED to find the ground, there was no need to panic.

Maybe find something else to do every other week, give you both a bit of balance.

Spectators spectate, they don’t go over and expect hugs and conversations in the middle of a match, this would be enough to get you sidelined from my DC’s junior football team.

Selfesteem23 · 03/06/2023 16:46

Maybe give him a break and don’t go all the time maybe every other match or even less. I’m sure you can find other things to do and see each other afterwards or another day. You can’t expect him to be guiding you to the ground when the match is already on going.

ThatFraggle · 03/06/2023 16:51

You could easily Google 'how to get into Little Pemberley Cricket club' and get an answer.

Why don't you find a hobby to do while he does cricket? Couples need space apart too. Work doesn't count. Leisure time apart.

TheHandbag · 03/06/2023 16:52

How old are you because you're behaving like a needy teenager.

continentallentil · 03/06/2023 16:54

It's probably a bit odd to panic because you couldn't find the grounds, also as he takes it seriously, going to hug him just before he steps on the pitch is - possibly - annoying. You could also have called someone else or googled for a pic of the entrance.

I think the best thing is to do whatever it is you would like to do on a saturday, and leave him to his cricket.

tymberland · 03/06/2023 16:57

OP, how many other partners were there watching?

Madamecastafiore · 03/06/2023 16:57

DS plays cricket and he'd probably behave in the same way your DP has. Their focused on the game, will be talking tactics and being altogether as a team before the game starts and won't be checking phones.

Please stop overthinking or you'll ruin your relationship.

Sunnyfeelgood · 03/06/2023 16:58

It is usually quite unattractive to people to have a partner who doesn't have their own hobbies and just follows you around. I wonder if he is getting a little fed up with this? It is lovely that you go to support him, but surely this doesn't need to be every weekend? Where are you on weekends? It sounds like you have disappeared and turned into a side character in his story.

Talipesmum · 03/06/2023 17:03

He’s not free to chat or speak with you once the game has started really, especially if he’s captain. He needs to be watching what’s happening, thinking about the order, any adjustments etc. He may be chatting to his team but that’s all likely to be cricket focussed. Even with the kids when I take them to a match I leave them alone once it’s started, maybe just offer water / snacks / suncream.

I think you need to adjust your mindset if you’re going along to watch (it’s nice of you to go to watch) - he’s “on” all the time the match is happening, it’s not in any way couple time. Of course it’s only a game and if there was a genuine emergency then he could be called away, but I don’t think panicking because you can’t find the ground is it. If the game is a really easy or relaxed one he may be able to come over and chat for a short while, but don’t assume that’ll happen.

quicklybeendrivenmad · 03/06/2023 17:07

DH used to play I grew up watching cricket and loved going to watch but hardly saw him the entire match as he was focused on the match me and the other wives usually sorted our own food drinks etc and he would not have dreamed of eating his tea with me as they would have been discussing the next innings, and would never ever of hugged him before he went into bat his mates would have thought I was an idiot

BillyBraggisnotmylover · 03/06/2023 17:08

If he’s anything like DH (also a cricket captain) he’ll have been feeling pissed off at getting out. I wouldn’t take anything he says in the immediate period after that too personally. You’ve had some tough responses her OP but to be honest if I go to watch DH (relatively rarely) I steer clear of the team and hang out on the periphery until it’s over. They’re in the zone, leave them to it.

BillyBraggisnotmylover · 03/06/2023 17:11

Also, DH has spent a lot of today (a non-match day) sorting out a dispute over team selections. It can be surprisingly all-encompassing to be a captain, even low down the pecking order so I’d give him a break and a bit of space when he’s playing.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 03/06/2023 17:19

You're being unfair to him. He's playing his sport and you're distracting him with calls, texts and complaints about not getting a hug. Find something to occupy yourself on a Saturday.

WateryDoom · 03/06/2023 17:24

I played a lot of team sport through my teens/20s and 30s. I'd have found a partner like you massively irritating, I'm afraid.

I was there to play sport with my team and being distracted by a needy spectator who wanted attention and hugs would have driven me mad.

Remona · 03/06/2023 17:32

YAB massively U.

I speak as someone who has 30+ years experience in dealing with cricket via my ex-H and latterly my DS.

Let him enjoy his sport. Why don’t you enjoy the break it gives you. I always hate the end of the season when Saturdays are no longer my own.

WilkinsonM · 03/06/2023 17:34

Stop wasting your weekends watching him play cricket. It's a bit pathetic really, unless you're actually a massive cricket fan?!

DismantledKing · 03/06/2023 17:34

You’re mental

Delatron · 03/06/2023 17:41

Cricket is so boring. Just go and do something else on a Saturday and see him
another time. He can’t talk to you when you’re there anyway so unless there are other girlfriends there? You must be sat by yourself for hours watching randoms play cricket?

Definitely don’t try and hug him before he bats!!

Jumpinjackkflash · 03/06/2023 17:43

YABU

My DH used to play cricket. Its a very long day, do you really sit there for the full match?! On occasion I would pop and watch for an hour if it was nice weather and I had nothing better to do. I wouldn't really engage other than a quick wave until the end. That's his time, his sport with his mates. Everyone needs their time and space to do what they enjoy. We have always enjoyed doing stuff together and doing stuff apart with our friends. I think most healthy relationships look like that.

HarrysStyle · 03/06/2023 18:02

It's Saturday! Don't you have any mates to go out with? I'd say he's understandably feeling smothered by you.

Let him have his space and you have yours. This just isn't healthy.

MadamWhiteleigh · 03/06/2023 18:04

I’ve been worried he’s going to go off me because of it; but he promises he hasn’t

This is also a bit of a problem. Sounds like you’re looking for reassurance from him all the time.

You do need to relax a bit.

piedbeauty · 03/06/2023 18:11

I'd find your own hobbies and do something nice for yourself on a Saturday instead of going to watch a grumpy twat play cricket.

Swipe left for the next trending thread