AIBU to not lend out my unread books?

[TreeTrunkThighs]

I have a (admittedly large) pile of beautiful brand new books by my bed waiting to be read. DH has told MIL this and she wants to borrow one.

AIBU to say no? Or am I being precious?

FWIW I wouldn’t lend them to anyone, not just MIL.

I would happily lend out a book to pretty much anyone but NEVER before reading it - it’s just feels wrong!!

& actually, I did this once about ten years ago for a very close friend and she moved to the other side of the country…. With my book.

Nope! The new book experience is MINE all MINE!!

that aside, your DH needs to be told that he's old enough not to have to blather everything to his mother. What you have beside your bed, or anywhere else, is your business, he can tell his mother what he has beside his bed. Or he can sleep with one eye open in case you feel a loose lip stapling together episode coming on!

Agree with this 100% it’s not on, that your husband looks so generous by giving away (based on the amount of pp who never saw their books again) something that isn’t his to give.

But as books are relatively inexpensive to buy, you’ll look petty if this turns into an argument.

Why couldn’t your MIL have just asked you, if she could borrow it once you’ve read it?

Nope.

Not a chance.

I normally have a box full of paperbacks/things I’ll never read which I’ll offer to family/friends before dropping at a charity shop.

In principle it's not unreasonable not to lend out a brand new book with that brand new paper smell. Mmm.
But in practice if I had a load, I probably would let a relative have one.

Why ? How does she even know they’re her genre(s) ? It would never occur to me to ask a fellow book lover to lend me unread (or even read) books.

Perhaps your husband doesn't like the pile and sort of arm-twisted her into ‘helping’ to reduce it ?

Your DH can lend his own books if he's so keen!

This.

Gosh no not brand new pristine books! Not even to my adult children.I can't bear it when the spine gets bent and cracked.

When the kids were little, FIL used to buy them books for birthdays and Xmas. He'd then read these books first then gift them with the spines cracked and lined and the book looking second hand. He genuinely never thought there was anything wrong in doing this....

Never would lend a new book. Would give a book away once I’m done though.

I wouldn’t be bothered by that. My pile of books I’ve not yet read is too big, no idea when I’ll get round to reading them all, and I’d just appreciate someone else getting some enjoyment out of my Amazon trigger happiness.

No chance! YANBU. I read a lot, and usually pass them on to my DM to read afterwards, or take them to the GP surgery for their "bring one, take one" shelf. I'd never lend a book I haven't read yet, like PPs I enjoy the smell and feel of a new book and if I've paid for it, I would like to be the one to experience that!

I don’t lend books to anyone any more. I used to but they either didn’t come back or certainly not in the condition they were lent. A fairly new acquaintance came round and looked at my overflowing bookshelves and said “ooh, I’m looking forward to working my way through those” and I automatically said “sorry, I don’t lend books”. After that it was easy to tell everyone the same.

Hell no! She can wait until you’ve read them or join a library.

In my family we refer to this as “the sanctity of the unread book” and no one is allowed to break it by, for example, sneaking an new book from the unread pile. Even asking is considered to be bad form.

YANBU. I’ve never had a book returned - ever. I find it rude. If I borrow, I read it quickly and return then chat about the book with the lender.