AIBU to not lend out my unread books?

[TreeTrunkThighs]

I have a (admittedly large) pile of beautiful brand new books by my bed waiting to be read. DH has told MIL this and she wants to borrow one.

AIBU to say no? Or am I being precious?

FWIW I wouldn’t lend them to anyone, not just MIL.

Oh hell no to lending out unread books. In fact i've pretty much stopped lending out books altogether. I just don't understand why the majority of people can't be trusted with books. What gets me is that they wouldn't be so disrespectful in the way they treat any other items that they borrow but books don't seem to matter.
I have had books returned dog-eared, torn, with stains both inside and out, with annotations and highlighting in them and even had one returned that got dropped in the bath.
An lets not get started on those who don't even return the books they have borrowed - there is a special place in hell for them.
Rant Over.

He says it would feel wrong.

@TeaAndStrumpets maybe he knows about leaving 'eye marks' on them?

If i knew she would return it in good condition as soon as she had finished reading it then it wouldn't bother me at all.

He shouldn't be offering to loan out your property without asking first, regardless of what they are or (in the case of books) whether or not they've been read. Not everyone wants to loan their possessions, and books aren't so expensive that she can't buy one herself (or go to a library).

I'd be miffed, because now you have to look selfish if you very reasonably hesitate to loan her something from your stack of books. If it's one specific title she's interested in reading, I'd tell a white lie that you've just started reading it and will loan it to her afterwards, assuming you don't mind loaning it then.

He didn't know before but I will warn him!

I don't lend my books, full stop. But then I have a total inability to part with books and the rare instances of lending and never getting them back...

Unread? Hell no. Just no no no no.

Read? Possibly, depending on whether I liked it or not. Still only a possible if I didn't like it 😂

I lent a brand new book to FIL. He kept it for ages and then when he finally gave it back it looked like it had been read by about 10 people. I try to keep my books in as good condition as possible so I was really disappointed to get it back looking like that when I hadn’t even read it myself!

Absolutely no bloody way!! I’m like Joey from Friends except that it’s not food I won’t share, it’s books! I rarely lend my books out as each and every one is precious to me, but an unread book is a nonbrainer - zero chance of it being lent out so stick to your guns OP!

I would but I'm not precious about my books (I crack spines, fold paperbacks round, fold page corners, the lot... blasphemy 😅)

If the one she wants is next on your list to read then fair enough, if you've got a few to get through I vote you're being a bit mean.

On the other hand, we should all allow ourselves little things we're precious about and if the joy of an unread book is yours, that's okay!

YANBU. Would she want your unworn braved new clothes too? I am funny about books. I never lend them out. That said, I never lend anything at all out.

no!
Any time I've lent a book out its come back with the spine creased, pages dog-eared, and that's if it even comes back at all (BIL is terrible for never returning books!).

The unread books I lent people were never returned to me. Different people, different years, but it was always the unread ones that vanished. The last one, I'd lent to DP, thinking I'd get it back soon enough - but no, he bumped into an acquaintance on a train and lent it to him. DP hadn't even read it!

No books get lent now. He wouldn't dare.

Anyhow, paranoia at 11, I'd strongly recommend that you hide all of your unread books, as I think he'll just take one for his Mum and deny all knowledge of it when you can't find it.

I can't believe how many people wouldn't. If I had a huge pile of unread books then of course I'd lend one of them whilst I had others to read. Recently lent my mum an unread book and now she's returned it, I'm reading it. No sweats.

The last book I loaned out took 4 years and 9 months to be returned. My reply to him would be "oh hell no".

I’d buy someone a copy of their own before loaning out mine. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a loaned book back!

Actually, I would let dh or my sister read an unread book but no one else.

I no longer lend out my books (unless they are basic charity shop bargains I've finished with) because people don't take care of them. One of my favourite books was returned to me long after I lent it, chewed up by the family dog, with a giggle but no apology and no offer to replace it.

Also I'd never lend out a completely new, unopened book - though I might buy a copy to give as a gift. 🌹

That's what a library is for.

Also your DH doesn't get to offer stuff that isn't even his to begin with.

YANBU but please suggest a book I could read.

nothing comedic as I often don’t find them funny but something I’m so integrated into I can’t put it down

I'm very territorial about my books so there's a tiny pool of people I lend any books to, doesn't matter whether they're read or unread.

Good god no. Brand new books are one of the few non fattening pleasures left in life!!

I would not lend a book before reading it in case I didn't get it back. Does the lady not have books in her own home?

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Anyhow, paranoia at 11, I'd strongly recommend that you hide all of your unread books, as I think he'll just take one for his Mum and deny all knowledge of it when you can't find it.

That's exactly what I'd do... 🌹

I've got fed up with lending books to people who don't return them.

And I'd never lend one I hadn't yet read.