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Original poster

“I don’t have to talk about you all the time”

60 replies

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 10:48

My boyfriend of a year goes on nights out with friends and often says things to me like “my friends were asking about you, I was talking about you” etc.

He went for a games night with friends the other night. I asked “did you speak about me” and he said “nah not really”. I thought oh right, he usually would. He said “no one else speaks about their girlfriends constantly, I don’t always have to talk about you all the time”.

Is it me or is this really harsh?

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 03/06/2023 11:07

What a weird question. Why would someone talk about their other half on a night out, what a bore that would be.

I’ve never asked DH what they talked about on a night out

Pinkdelight3 · 03/06/2023 11:19

Maybe the honeymoon period is over, if he used to gush about you but now gets comparatively snippy that you asked. Tbf, it's more normal not to talk about girlfriends and just do the gaming and inconsequential chitchat, and it's not that normal to ask if you were spoken about, so praps things are just settling down a bit.

Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 03/06/2023 11:19

Do you see it as a reminder to him and his mates that he's attached so keep to other women at arms length from him?
Does sound rather needy tbh, are you happy in the relationship in other ways or does he give you reason to feel unsettled?

fluffypinkclouds · 03/06/2023 11:21

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 03/06/2023 10:51

Not harsh at all.

There is nothing more boring than somone who constantly drones in about their partner or children.

Why do you even ask or care?

THIS. I think we've all experienced those who drone on about their boyfriend/girlfriend and its boring AF.

ShimmeringShirts · 03/06/2023 11:22

I’d find it stranger to be asked if I spoke about someone than I would if someone was to give that reply to me. Why did you even ask? Confused

Original poster
mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 03/06/2023 12:24

It’s not harsh though.

MichelleScarn · 03/06/2023 12:40

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

I really don't see how it's harsh! Are you usually or do you expect to be a focal point of things and he's broken hence the response 'all the time'?

zerosugarcola · 03/06/2023 12:58

not harsh at all why would he want to talk about you all the time when hes out .

WandaWonder · 03/06/2023 12:59

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

How is it harsh?

GalileoHumpkins · 03/06/2023 13:00

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

It wasn't harsh but maybe he's tired of you being so self-absorbed?

lap90 · 03/06/2023 13:01

You were being weird to ask.

icelollycraving · 03/06/2023 13:10

If this is him being harsh, do you want to partner swap?!

greyhairnomore · 03/06/2023 13:12

You've had a very lucky relationship history if you think that is harsh.
Are you very young ?

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/06/2023 13:23

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

It sounds like you’re over invested in this relationship and possibly quite insecure? People in long-standing relationships - unless they are very controlling and want to make sure their partner keeps in line - don’t generally “ask all about the night” when their partner has been out with friends. Upon their return home they usually ask something like “good night?” to which the response will be “yeah, was nice to see everyone and catch up” and that’s about it.

Do you have many friends of your own? Other people important to you and a life of your own outside the relationship? It sounds like you need to focus on / build one a bit more. Wanting to know the minutiae of your boyfriend’s time with his mates and asking if they discussed you as if you expected to be at the forefront of his mind isn’t healthy emotionally.

beachcitygirl · 03/06/2023 13:24

Oh god. You're one of those girilfriends. Get a hold of yourself honey or you'll be an excellent pdq

gamerchick · 03/06/2023 13:38

We're supposed to talk about our partners when not with them?

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 03/06/2023 13:49

mcdonaldshappymeal · 03/06/2023 12:22

I did ask all about his night, was just a passing comment. He wouldn’t normally say something that harsh. That’s all

Why do you think it's harsh?

TheCentreSlide · 03/06/2023 13:54

On the face of it it does sounds like a needy and unnecessary question.

But I wonder if you asked him because ordinarily he would offer up that he mentioned you, and this time it was different, and you wondered why?

I actually think his response was a bit harsh especially since it’s a change of behaviour on his part.

HawdMeBack · 03/06/2023 14:04

It's a bit harsh in the sense that, 'no' would have done. He didn't need to add the 'I don't need to talk about you all the time' bit.

I do agree it does seem like an odd question though OP.

StrugglingWeight · 03/06/2023 14:05

I think tone of voice conveys a lot. It's impossible to know how he said that
It could be friendly in which case fine, or it could be harsh. If he normally mentions how he talks about you and this time doesn't then it's a change in behaviour and I can see how that combined with what he said could upset you

Equally I don't think its normal to talk much about your partner beyond the initial dating stage. From what I've witnessed of DH and his friends they mostly just talk absolute shite

Verystressedsenmum · 03/06/2023 14:14

Oh op it’s a strange question to ask and I’m confused why you think it was harsh ? What did you expect him to say yes I talked about you all night . Can you imagine going out with one of your friends that wanted to talk about her partner? It would be annoying so I can imagine even more so for men .
think about it op .

Theladyinluna · 03/06/2023 14:16

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 03/06/2023 10:52

I think it was really weird that you asked the question tbh.

This.

And it is you.

SparklyBlackKitten · 03/06/2023 14:19

Are you both teenagers?

bibbingo · 03/06/2023 14:40

Really weird to have asked the question 😂