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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was rude (mammogram related)

77 replies

HelpMebeok · 02/06/2023 21:54

So yesterday I went for my first mammogram. I have big boobs. Walked in and the nurse said "obviously you've quite big so we might need to take more photos". Not rude but made me feel a bit self conscious. Then so she was pressing my boob onto the machine said "blimey these are really heavy!!" AIBU to think they was rude? I mean she wasn't wrong but did she need to point it out? It wasn't said in a kindly way.

OP posts:
TheRowdy3 · 02/06/2023 23:54

Very unprofessional and rude.

I would complain.

WordsandSentences · 02/06/2023 23:56

UpaladderwatchingTV · 02/06/2023 21:58

Kindly, I think you were perhaps feeling anxious and took her words to heart OP. Bear in mind that she feels women's breasts every day of the week, big ones, small ones, every shape and size, so she probably thought she was making a joke to make you feel more relaxed. When you've been another couple of times, hopefully you'll take it in your stride, and not be quite so edgy about it.

I think that’s part of the problem, I get through mammograms and smears by telling myself they see all shapes and sizes, so to have mine commented on would negate that and make me feel embarrassed I think.

oofmehip · 02/06/2023 23:56

ShatParp · 02/06/2023 22:01

She was probably (maybe a bit awkwardly) trying to make you laugh to put you at ease, they tell everyone they might have to take more pics regardless of tit size, don't worry

Sorry OP to derail, but I have just laughed PROPERLY out loud at your username @ShatParp 😂😂😂

As for the radiographer's comments (I'd be saying nurse too had someone not pointed that out upthread!) I definitely think she was tactless at best. Perhaps in her mind it was a compliment..?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 02/06/2023 23:57

Wrong on all levels,no need to even mention extra pictures,if more are needed they should just be taken,no need to announce it on arrival.

Busybutbored · 03/06/2023 01:02

continentallentil · 02/06/2023 23:51

Commenting on the weight of someone’s body part is not going to make them feel relaxed.

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I have big bobs myself and have often thought the same thing, so probably why I can relate to the comment

thespy · 03/06/2023 01:22

I think sometimes medical professionals forget to be professional as they have seen it all so many times before, forgetting that we, the patient actually haven't seen all the boobs / body parts - or had all the examinations - like your boobs aren't actually part of you but a commodity - it's as if she's picked up your handbag. It's not really on to make that kind of comment.

Notimeforaname · 03/06/2023 01:32

The opposite was said to me. I'm very flat chested. "You're only a little thing, this wont take long".
Didn't bother me but I can see how it would others.

Aslanplustwo · 03/06/2023 02:57

UsingChangeofName · 02/06/2023 23:17

The first comment was factual. The second was her just trying to help you relax with a bit of chit chat.

Totally agree with @UpaladderwatchingTV in the 2nd reply on this thread.

It must be tiring, analysing everything anyone says to you and looking for something to be upset about.

I agree. It tires me just reading about the things which offend or upset people on MN.

smooththecat · 03/06/2023 03:25

Yeah, I’m with you OP. Nobody wants to feel like a heft of calf being hoiked around for market.

Oblomov23 · 03/06/2023 04:14

I think it was unprofessional. The 2nd sentence totally inappropriate. 1st sentence very badly worded.

Hannahsbananas · 03/06/2023 09:20

Aslanplustwo · 03/06/2023 02:57

I agree. It tires me just reading about the things which offend or upset people on MN.

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How is “Your boobs are very big and heavy” considered normal small talk?

Venndiagrammy · 03/06/2023 09:23

The first comment is fair enough (although could be more tactfully mentioned), the second is rude though. Small talk making comment about someone's breasts when they're probably already feeling a bit vulnerable is crap. It's one of those things unless you know the person you don't know how they'll react so shouldn't say it.

Venndiagrammy · 03/06/2023 09:26

Aslanplustwo · 03/06/2023 02:57

I agree. It tires me just reading about the things which offend or upset people on MN.

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Yes God forbid women speak about things that upset them. Everyone should just accept what people say and feel bad for how they feel about it. I agree there's some ridiculousness but bloody hell can you imagine a HCP saying to a bloke this penal exam won't take long as phwoar it's tiny! They wouldn't.

Hannahsbananas · 03/06/2023 09:30

Venndiagrammy · 03/06/2023 09:26

Yes God forbid women speak about things that upset them. Everyone should just accept what people say and feel bad for how they feel about it. I agree there's some ridiculousness but bloody hell can you imagine a HCP saying to a bloke this penal exam won't take long as phwoar it's tiny! They wouldn't.

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Or the reverse…. Even though it would be welcomed by most blokes.

It’s just inappropriate to make personal remarks of any kind in a medical setting.

Cakencookieobsessed · 03/06/2023 09:30

What did you find offensive about being told you have big boobs when you know you have big boobs? What's wrong with having big boobs? It's not like being called fat or skinny, or ugly. She wasn't having a personal dig at you, just explaining how it would work.

Brunilde · 03/06/2023 10:05

I have big boobs and wouldn't have minded. My first thought was, yeah try lugging them around all day lol. I'd have laughed.

MrsRachelDanvers · 03/06/2023 10:12

I’m a mammographer and would never comment on someone’s breasts. It’s rude. However I must say while I love my job and see it as useful, I’m worn out by years of pushing very large women into place. My back, wrists, elbows and shoulders all hurt at the end of the day. I e been doing the job for many years and women have definitely got bigger-and older women who are very large often have mobility conditions which makes the job even more difficult. So maybe she was just having an exhausting day.

DogsPyjamas · 03/06/2023 10:23

Brunilde · 03/06/2023 10:05

I have big boobs and wouldn't have minded. My first thought was, yeah try lugging them around all day lol. I'd have laughed.

This would be my thinking. I can be quite awkward myself and would take most things with a pinch of salt, unless intent was clearly there.

DogsPyjamas · 03/06/2023 10:26

Oh I think I’ve been using a pinch of salt incorrectly 🤔. I mean lightheartedly.

DOBARDAN · 03/06/2023 11:10

I'd have felt exactly the same as you OP, it's not professional behaviour and I'm sure radiographers are not trained in this way.

I've had a few mammograms and have never known how many photos were taken each time, it certainly has never been mentioned to me. For you to have it announced on your first mammogram appointment in that way must've been jarring. Her second comment to you was rude.

Comedycook · 03/06/2023 11:12

I wouldn't say rude but probably not the most tactful thing to say. I wouldn't dwell on it

fuckmyuteruslining · 03/06/2023 15:18

First comment fine, second comment not fine. Rude and designed to make you feel like shit. Compliance is vital in public health screening. How keen would you be to go back? She needs her arse kicked. I would complain to pals tbh.

Peachtoiletpaper · 03/06/2023 16:09

I don't agree about it being a joke or light hearted comment- working with a patient in a state of undress isn't an appropriate time to be making jokes or remarks about their body.

Ponoka7 · 03/06/2023 16:13

The second comment shouldn't have been said. I've had similar to the first and it's been pointed out that it might be painful.

bonfirebash · 03/06/2023 16:16

MrsRachelDanvers · 03/06/2023 10:12

I’m a mammographer and would never comment on someone’s breasts. It’s rude. However I must say while I love my job and see it as useful, I’m worn out by years of pushing very large women into place. My back, wrists, elbows and shoulders all hurt at the end of the day. I e been doing the job for many years and women have definitely got bigger-and older women who are very large often have mobility conditions which makes the job even more difficult. So maybe she was just having an exhausting day.

What do you have to push? I'm under the age so I have no idea what happens at one
TBH my boobs put me off going, they've never been small and I'm currently in a 34K so I don't want anyone to be funny about them and they're really dense too