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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a trampoline one

61 replies

HappyKoala56 · 02/06/2023 20:40

We have a considerable sized garden, around 100ft. We created a kind of split around two thirds of the way down - we have a bench under a freestanding Arbor with trellises attached, so the end of our garden is not completely cut off but is a bit of an obscured view from the house. The idea of this being we have a large patio for entertaining, followed by a pretty garden area with the trellis, then behind the trellis is the kids area. Here we have additional seating, a ping pong table and a trampoline against the back fence.

A neighbour that backs on to us has been round to ask us to move the trampoline. I want to start this by saying we are absolutely on board with moving the trampoline away from the boundary and we plan to do this. However, the neighbour also decided to write a letter, and the letter is so far off of the tone she was giving out in person. She asks in the letter that we move the trampoline a considerable distance from the boundary, or get it removed completely as she doesn't want to be able to see the trampoline or my daughter on it at all. Our garden is set higher than theirs, so even though we have a six foot fence, it is not six foot on our side iyswim probably more like 5ft - I don't think moving it up by the 8-10 metres I have available in the kids area will meet her requirements. She specifically states that as we have a large garden we have the space to move it - while technically this is true, I don't want to move the trampoline in front of the trellis as that was the point of putting the split there, I want to view my pretty garden and the kids have their own space. Yes I do have a large garden, but I paid a premium for it so I could use it how suited me, not so my neighbours can tell me how to use it.

The meet in person had me sympathising completely, but the letter and how it is worded has really got my back up. It has given me a deadline to move said trampoline (I would have moved it tomorrow following our talk) and the entire thing comes across as really confrontational and threatening. I could understand if she had spoken to me about it before, but I've literally never met her. In the face to face meeting she also briefly mentioned our ping pong table and fire pit (fire pit has been lit twice in a year, once to BBQ).

My plan is to move the trampoline as far up the kids area as possible but say that's as far as it will go even if she can still see the trampoline or the top of my child's head. It will mean re-working the space though so the ping pong table will need to be much nearer the boundary fence so the noise of that will be worse. I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be good enough for the neighbour. AIBU to tell her tough if she comes knocking again? While I'm absolutely looking to compromise by moving things around in the kids area, am I being a complete cow for saying I want to keep my pretty area of garden trampoline free?

OP posts:
fugly1 · 02/06/2023 20:44

Your garden, do what you want and put the trampoline wherever is best for you! Sod the neighbour if they are going to be rude

ChequeredPastel · 02/06/2023 20:44

Your garden, your rules.

Summerishere123 · 02/06/2023 20:46

I wouldn't dream of going rouns telling neighbour to rearrange their garden. Just ignore her.

LeevMarie · 02/06/2023 20:46

If the trampoline is moved, is there still not likely to be a privacy issue for your neighbour?

To be honest, I would've asked you to move it. The neighbour is probably pissed that you have a large garden and chose to put the trampoline as near to their space as possible. The inner vitriol probably filtered through in the letter, which is why I always think that neighbourly issues should be handled in person!

nahwhale · 02/06/2023 20:47

Did someone else write the letter for her? Very odd

Morechocmorechoc · 02/06/2023 20:47

Just tell her it's staying put and suggest she grows something tall ger side if she doesn't want to ever sees neighbours or moves to a field.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 02/06/2023 20:50

We had the garden dug out so the trampoline is level with the ground. It's saves any privacy issues and is much safer.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 02/06/2023 20:51

I hate trampolines and it is really annoying when people put them as far from their own house as possible, but she can't make you do anything

BonesBrennanz · 02/06/2023 20:54

It’s your garden and you can do what you like. However, I do think there is some irony in you wanting a pretty area of garden trampoline free, but not understanding why your neighbour doesn’t want to be looking at your child on your trampoline.

pookiedoodlepuppy · 02/06/2023 20:54

So you put the kids area as far away from your entertaining area ,and far from your house, so you can have peace from the kids noise and your neighbour has to endure the noise and carry on from your kids .
You are being really unreasonable .

RandomMess · 02/06/2023 20:55

You want a pretty view but she no longer has hears because she can see a trampoline and has kids look over her fence!

Put some trellis on top of the fence to increase the height and/or sink the trampoline.

The tone of the letter isn't nice but try understand her point of view.

StoneofDestiny · 02/06/2023 20:55

Seems you've moved the trampoline/play/entertainment area as far from your house as possible - presumably the same reason she wants it as far away from her home as possible.

PuttingDownRoots · 02/06/2023 20:57

Who owns the fence? Maybe adding a trellis or screen to the fence will help the issue.

You aren't exactly being fair. They are being OTT as well, but youre shifting the issue onto them

Augend23 · 02/06/2023 20:57

Iwantmyoldnameback · 02/06/2023 20:50

We had the garden dug out so the trampoline is level with the ground. It's saves any privacy issues and is much safer.

Doesn't this create a stagnant pool of water under the trampoline? I would be worried that things would die in the water and it would get gross.

My soil is very clay-heavy though so it might be that it's not a problem everywhere.

IamAlso4eels · 02/06/2023 20:57

It's up to you how you use your garden and moving it away from the fence but still within the kids section of the garden is a fair compromise.

If she doesn't like the new arrangement then she is free to grow something tall and/or bushy on her side of the fence to obscure it.

ThankYouLifeGuards · 02/06/2023 21:01

How long is her garden?

ReachForTheMars · 02/06/2023 21:01

I mean, it is tough luck if you only move it halfway up but you admit that you want it in the kids area so you dont have to see it, so why would she want to?

pookiedoodlepuppy · 02/06/2023 21:06

Also must be hellish for neighbour when you have your friends and their kids round , while you have the peace of the entertaining area she has the noise of the kids in your play area .

RichTeaCheddars · 02/06/2023 21:06

Can either you or her increase the height of the fence so she has more privacy?

ButterCrackers · 02/06/2023 21:06

Send a lawyers letter telling her that your garden is your concern. Remind her about harassment and that you have taken note of her threatening behaviour.

StoneofDestiny · 02/06/2023 21:08

It won't be just privacy - I imagine noise will be an issue.

HelplessSoul · 02/06/2023 21:08

Send the letter back with the words "fuck off" in red ink!

Thatboymum · 02/06/2023 21:13

BonesBrennanz · 02/06/2023 20:54

It’s your garden and you can do what you like. However, I do think there is some irony in you wanting a pretty area of garden trampoline free, but not understanding why your neighbour doesn’t want to be looking at your child on your trampoline.

Yep this

Smallonesaremorejuicy · 02/06/2023 21:23

Iwantmyoldnameback · 02/06/2023 20:50

We had the garden dug out so the trampoline is level with the ground. It's saves any privacy issues and is much safer.

We did same for safety reasons. Would this help you?

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 02/06/2023 21:24

I think I would just write back.
"As per our chat, we are willing ti move the trampoline 8 meters closer to our house/further away from Yours. However, please note that this is a friendly gesture and we are under no obligation to do this. Therefore, before we do this, we would appreciate you confirming that if we do this, this will resolve the matter.