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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being to stubborn?

34 replies

Lisa235 · 02/06/2023 18:34

Me and my ex have got back together but when I was single I came off the pill and I don’t regret it.

Sex has now become a stand off as I’ve explained I don’t want to go back on the pill as I’ve been on it since I was 15 and I feel so much better for it. He won’t wear condoms as it doesn’t feel good so wants me to go back on the pill. He also asked what does he get out of it as there’s certain things in the bedroom I don’t feel comfortable with doing - so In his eyes he’s not getting anything he wants.

I was hoping we were going to try for a baby in the next year so I didn’t want to muck my body about. I’m now thinking about going back on the pill otherwise we’ll never have sex and our relationship will suffer.

I feel pretty crap and to know he’s not happy with our sex life has knocked my confidence. I wanted our relationship to start again but I just as shit as I did before because of this.

OP posts:
Werewolfnotswearwolf · 02/06/2023 18:37

What are you getting out of this?

I suggest you probably don’t try to conceive with this man.

SpiderMam89 · 02/06/2023 18:37

Oh good god please leave this horrible man and do NOT have a baby with him. He's being manipulative and controlling. Why does his dislike of condoms trump your desire to not be on the pill?

Quinoawoman · 02/06/2023 18:39

Whaaattt? Why are you back together with him? He's putting his selfish pleasure before your health and wellbeing.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/06/2023 18:41

Dont have a baby with him.

Anyone who won’t put your health ahead of a marginal improvement in his sex life will not be a good father.

Merryoldgoat · 02/06/2023 18:42

Why the fuck would you be with someone like that? Is this a joke?

BreviloquentBastard · 02/06/2023 18:43

FFS sick of women's bars being so embarrassingly low. If we all stopped marrying and reproducing with these bottom feeding skidmarks their kind would die out for future generations.

Think of all the reasons you split up in the first place.

Add "selfish inconsiderate prick" to that list.

Also add "thinks getting his dick wet is more important than the physical and mental health of his partner".

Dump him again, for good this time. You want to pick a significantly better man to father your child.

TeaKitten · 02/06/2023 18:44

So you’re only worth having sex with if he doesn’t have to wear a condom as he’s already ‘compromising’… the problem here isn’t you or contraception, it’s the man. Get rid, absolutely do not have kids with this man! Do not compromise, do not let him make you feel bad, do not go on the pill, don’t have a baby with a moron!

Merryoldgoat · 02/06/2023 18:45

@BreviloquentBastard

I know. It’s so depressing.

Jagoda · 02/06/2023 18:46

Dump him back in the sea…

towriteyoumustlive · 02/06/2023 18:47

YABU even considering getting back together with this twat man. He clearly doesn't respect you.

If his only concern is what he can get out of sex, I can tell you now he'll be a terrible father!

dudsville · 02/06/2023 18:48

Listen to everyone here op. You can be happy.

kingtamponthefurred · 02/06/2023 19:07

You have medical reasons for not taking the pill. I doubt that your partner has any medical reason for not wearing a condom. And no, he does not sound like someone you would want to raise a child with.

edwinbear · 02/06/2023 19:09

Why would you even consider having a baby with this man? Can you imagine what sort of father he will make?

Blablablanamechangagain · 02/06/2023 19:10

BreviloquentBastard · 02/06/2023 18:43

FFS sick of women's bars being so embarrassingly low. If we all stopped marrying and reproducing with these bottom feeding skidmarks their kind would die out for future generations.

Think of all the reasons you split up in the first place.

Add "selfish inconsiderate prick" to that list.

Also add "thinks getting his dick wet is more important than the physical and mental health of his partner".

Dump him again, for good this time. You want to pick a significantly better man to father your child.

This

Blablablanamechangagain · 02/06/2023 19:13

I fell pregnant on the pill. Obviously stopped taking it through my pregnancy. I'm still not taking it because once my hormones after birth settled down, I realised how much better I felt without it. My DH, I KNOW, would prefer to not use condoms. However he has never once even mentioned it, let alone complained, or made me feel like "he isn't getting what he wants".

Please please PLEASE make him an ex again, and find a real man.
And for the love of God, don't have a child with this man. You can do so much better.

ChimChimeny · 02/06/2023 19:14

What they all said.

Run, the hills are that way ->

Merangutan · 02/06/2023 19:17

RUN.

MaggieBsBoat · 02/06/2023 19:18

Yes, sorry @Lisa235 if you continue this relationship, let alone have a child with him, then you are frankly doomed and are a muppet. No word of a lie, he’s an arse. Expect more. FFS

AnOKYearForTheRoses · 02/06/2023 19:18

Please don’t bring a baby into this shitshow.

Wyndam · 02/06/2023 19:19

I'm sure there was a reason he was an Ex in the first place.

Readyplayerthr33 · 02/06/2023 19:19

Get some self respect.

DisforDarkChocolate · 02/06/2023 19:23

You deserve so much better than this.

Also, before you try and conceive with any man think about how selfish he is.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 02/06/2023 19:23

BreviloquentBastard · 02/06/2023 18:43

FFS sick of women's bars being so embarrassingly low. If we all stopped marrying and reproducing with these bottom feeding skidmarks their kind would die out for future generations.

Think of all the reasons you split up in the first place.

Add "selfish inconsiderate prick" to that list.

Also add "thinks getting his dick wet is more important than the physical and mental health of his partner".

Dump him again, for good this time. You want to pick a significantly better man to father your child.

Oh my lovely. Read and re read this until you can repeat it off by heart. For the Love of the Goddess DO NOT GET PREGNANT WITH THIS LOSER.

Peachmangolemon · 02/06/2023 19:26

BreviloquentBastard · 02/06/2023 18:43

FFS sick of women's bars being so embarrassingly low. If we all stopped marrying and reproducing with these bottom feeding skidmarks their kind would die out for future generations.

Think of all the reasons you split up in the first place.

Add "selfish inconsiderate prick" to that list.

Also add "thinks getting his dick wet is more important than the physical and mental health of his partner".

Dump him again, for good this time. You want to pick a significantly better man to father your child.

Amen sister

EdinaCrump · 02/06/2023 19:28

He has no respect for you, totally selfish would rather you put chemicals in your body so his sexual experience feels nicer.

You deserve better.