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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working From Home

146 replies

LucyOCS · 01/06/2023 17:17

I work in a relatively senior role in the Financial Services sector in London. I’ve not worked in the office much for the last 4 years due to maternity leaves and Covid, and for me (and I think my company) it has worked brilliantly. My company has gotten a lot more hours out of me as I’ve been working in the time I would have been commuting, and of course I’m less tired and have been able to put a wash load on each day.

I’m now back from maternity leave and am commuting to the office a couple of days per week. To me it feels like a complete waste of time as most of the people I work with are abroad (large multinational company) so I’m commuting a round trip of 3 hours to sit on Teams calls. Plus I’m still breastfeeding and it’s very stressful worrying if the trains are going to let me make it home for bedtime.

It’s also putting pressure on my DH who has to do both school and nursery drop off and pick up on the days I’m in. In return I do both when I’m at home which means I no longer ever get the chance to put in a long day.

Pressure is now being put on everyone to be in the office 3 days per week, but I think it’s going to be unmanageable.

AIBU to ask what flexibility you have with your office job, and whether you are afforded more flexibility than your colleagues because you have kids? (None of my peers in my team have kids but none of them want to be in the office either, so my boss and his boss I think are reluctant to formally let me wfh more than the others).

OP posts:
Twonewcats · 01/06/2023 20:39

When I first started a flexible working arrangement, it was the case that having kids under 6 meant you had a statutory right to request it, altho the employer could refuse for any number of reasons.
It's now open to everyone to formally ask, so definitely put in a formal application to do so.
Ask for more than u actually want, eg full-time from home, so if they're arguing that they want you in 3 days, you have a better chance of negotiating with them to have 1 or 2 days in the office.
I'm not sure why so many posters seem to think you're being u reasonable, given that it's a right to ask
https://www.gov.uk/flexible-working

AmazonAmazine · 01/06/2023 20:41

I started a new job last year. I’ve never ended the office or met a colleague!
Weird at first… but I love it

Gardengirl108 · 01/06/2023 20:43

I work in a company with offices globally. Pre-pandemic I worked 4 days in the office and Fridays at home (my whole team did). Since March 2020, I’ve been into the office about 6 times and to outside venues a couple of times for off sites/dept events.

I’m in the middle of moving house 250 miles away and my commitment is to only travel to the office for offsite/dept events and socials (i.e Christmas). My company call it hybrid working, I will pay for my travel when I do go to the office after my house move.

My department has employed many people since Covid who live 100’s of miles away from the office and who also commit to the offsite events. I see no point in wasting time commuting when I could be working (I do far more hours than I did when I was going in) or going into an office to sit on Teams calls all day.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2023 20:50

I think the breatfeeding thing is what you need to lead with for now - that's legally protected I think

MeeThree · 01/06/2023 20:55

I'm back in full time but it doesn't bother me. We also have tech/operations people who need to staff 24/7 so it feels normal to be in.

My daughter just got her first job and it requires her to be in Mon to Friday (office job) and my son is also looking for one and most of the ones he's seen are the majority in the office. I do think it is changing back to more office based (though I think for the younger ones this is no bad thing as I would rather they got the chance to learn in person!).

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/06/2023 21:02

I find all the fuss about returning to the office after the pandemic quite surprising. We were asked to wfh because of extraordinary public health risks. These have largely gone away now but so many people feel they are somehow entitled to wfh forever? There's so many members of the workforce who can never wfh. How do people think they survive?

Original poster
LucyOCS · 01/06/2023 21:04

blondieminx · 01/06/2023 20:36

We’re supposed to be in 60/40 over each fortnight, but I’m still fully WFH for health reasons.

its 2023 and boomer nonsense of “everyone back to the office” can get firmly in the bin. I discovered this site yesterday on LinkedIn, specialising in flexible professional jobs for women, might be worth a look for you? Investing In Women jobs website

Thank you. I will check out that site!

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 01/06/2023 21:16

AIBU to ask what flexibility you have with your office job, and whether you are afforded more flexibility than your colleagues because you have kids? (None of my peers in my team have kids but none of them want to be in the office either, so my boss and his boss I think are reluctant to formally let me wfh more than the others).

YANBU to ask.
YANBU to want to be able to wfh.
YABVVVVVVVU to think you should be offered more generous T&C because you have chosen to be (and been lucky enough to be) parent.

Meetings aside, virtually all the 'office' side of my job is wfh (and was, long before covid), but, quite rightly, that is the case (should you prefer it) whether you have multiple dc, one dc, or no dc. It is also the case if you are carer for another adult who relies on you for support , or not. It is also the case if you have no responsibilities in the world and want to sunbathe for an hour in the middle of the day.

camelfinger · 01/06/2023 21:28

Ffor a number of roles, the nature of the work has changed since the pandemic to be remote-style working, even if you’re in the office. So you’re sitting in Teams calls all day; in the office it’s harder to concentrate when you can half hear everyone else’s calls too.

pointythings · 01/06/2023 21:39

I've just gone back into the NHS after a year out and we're all hybrid. There's no minimum number of office days, but where a meeting is set up to be face to face, we have to be in. If we want to be in on other days, we have to book a desk - pre COVID we had too little desk space and the offices are now set up with social distancing in mind so there's even less.

I tend to pick days when I know other people are going to be in to go in myself so I can have the social interaction and it works really well. Previous job was 100% WFH and I hated it once DC2 had moved off to uni, the loneliness was deadly.

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 01/06/2023 21:42

We all go into the office every day. Occasionally someone might work from home if they’re expecting a plumber (for example).

hattie43 · 01/06/2023 21:51

I do two days in the office and I would not want to do more . Another couple of guys do 4 days in the office 1 at home and everyone else is now back 5 days .

OpenDoors72 · 01/06/2023 22:31

I work in banking and I'm fully remote. No children yet, though several people in my team have them.

It does affect my work life balance since most of us end up working some evenings and weekends on top of days.

Generally positive though. It allowed them to hire people who live beyond London.

lieselotte · 02/06/2023 13:08

I have just seen another law firm is now asking for 4 days a week in the office.

But it's one of the US firms which pay massive salaries, so the employees can't moan that much. However, I still don't think it's very inclusive, yet I bet they make a song and dance of their DE&I policy.

user7637292 · 02/06/2023 13:10

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 01/06/2023 21:42

We all go into the office every day. Occasionally someone might work from home if they’re expecting a plumber (for example).

What!! Why?!

lieselotte · 02/06/2023 13:11

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/06/2023 21:02

I find all the fuss about returning to the office after the pandemic quite surprising. We were asked to wfh because of extraordinary public health risks. These have largely gone away now but so many people feel they are somehow entitled to wfh forever? There's so many members of the workforce who can never wfh. How do people think they survive?

Why do people always run this argument? It's obvious a lot of jobs can't be done remotely (although they can often be done on a flexible basis - see -Amazon offering term-time only contracts).

But if they can, why not? Better for the environment, better for the bank balance if you save on travel costs that aren't eaten up by heating costs and give you more time in bed!

HowNowBrownElephant · 02/06/2023 13:11

We’re asked to be in for a minimum of two face to face days per week. That doesn’t necessarily mean in the office - it might out visiting a client - but essentially two non-WFH days per week. I routinely work three from the office and two from home. Full time WFH would do my head in.

Busybutbored · 02/06/2023 13:11

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/06/2023 21:02

I find all the fuss about returning to the office after the pandemic quite surprising. We were asked to wfh because of extraordinary public health risks. These have largely gone away now but so many people feel they are somehow entitled to wfh forever? There's so many members of the workforce who can never wfh. How do people think they survive?

Agree with this completely

lieselotte · 02/06/2023 13:11

user7637292 · 02/06/2023 13:10

What!! Why?!

Show quote history

Er - to let them into the house?

user7637292 · 02/06/2023 13:12

I work for a large multi-national PE firm. No set days or rules, but as a team we try for at least 1 day a week where we are all in the office together.

I find it varies team by team, but I haven't heard of anyone being asked to do more than 3x a week in the office.

Me personally, 2x a week in the office, sometimes more, sometimes less.

Ginmonkeyagain · 02/06/2023 13:59

We are asked to go in at least 60% of the time (so three days a week if you are full time).

If you want to be more than that at home you need to make an application under the nornal flexible working regime.

It is not rigorously policied - eg I only did 1.5 days in the office this week bcause of the train strikes and didn't need to ask or tell anyone.

However where people consistently do less than 3 days a week in the office it is noted by senior management, and not in a favourable way.

UsingChangeofName · 02/06/2023 18:01

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/06/2023 21:02

I find all the fuss about returning to the office after the pandemic quite surprising. We were asked to wfh because of extraordinary public health risks. These have largely gone away now but so many people feel they are somehow entitled to wfh forever? There's so many members of the workforce who can never wfh. How do people think they survive?

There's so many members of the workforce who can never wfh. How do people think they survive?

Following that argument, there are many people who have to work nights. There are many people that have to work outside. There are many people who have to work away from home.

But for those of us that don't need to why should we be made to because, before we had the technology it was the only way to do things historically ?

BreathesOutSlowly · 02/06/2023 18:41

Surely the issue is about productivity and business demands. Everyone says that they are more productive at home but there are so many business building interactions that happen in many workplaces that cannot be replicated at home.

There was a great thing on the radio the other day when they were chatting with a business chap who has got his staff back in for the majority of time because it is overall better for his customers. It seems the need of the customer has largely been forgotten in the WFH debate.

PatientZorro · 02/06/2023 18:48

They’ve asked us to be in the office 2 days p/w at my place (Finance, London) but it’s not strictly enforced. Also they’ve downsized the office space but haven’t quite found the right balance yet - there’s a bun fight for desks on Tuesdays and Thursdays but place is a ghost-town on Mondays and Fridays.

PatientZorro · 02/06/2023 18:56

Think our bosses were surprised how well the business ran over lockdown and that convinced them to make a (massive) saving by downsizing on office space.

I don’t think it’s just about productivity now, it’s also about retaining staff…. it’s surprising how quickly employees have come to expect hybrid arrangements as normal so if they’re not offered people will look elsewhere. It does suck for those in sectors where wfh isn’t possible though.