I'm a single Mum. I raised my son with special needs by myself. Never a penny or a hand off his Father. We've always been two peas in a pod.
He's had loads of challenges thrown his way. Illnesses. Severe depression. Autism. I've fought tooth and nail for the best for him his whole life. I've always been his biggest cheerleader.
I never really went out or put myself first. I was a devoted Mum. I even gave him the master bedroom in our house. He is my favourite person and I'm very attached, maybe too much I admit, because it was always just us.
I read every book, saw every doctor, ran my whole life around being the best parent and struggled for years to support us. Which was hard.
I started my own business just after he was born so I could provide but also be home every day and for school holidays. It was hard, but I ended up providing him with a great life where he wanted for nothing.
I got covid in 2020 and was very ill (thought I might not live) and was left with long covid. At the same time my hospitality business was hampered by lockdowns and I was one of the "excluded" so my income dropped by 80% in 2020 and 2021.
In 2022 I could no longer afford the flat I was renting, so I clung on as long as I possibly could but lost the flat just before my son went off to university.
When my son left for university, I moved in with my partner to his 1 bedroom flat. Temporarily. With the idea being we would get a bigger place all together.
I've been trying desperately ever since to get a new home and get life back on track, but life keeps kicking me.
I went out of business. I've got severe depression. I struggle with long covid. My partner has very serious health problems. My son has also had similar. I feel like I've spent the last eight months just racing back and forth across the country to look after others.
We weren't able to move into a bigger place yet. Partly because my partner has had serious health problems. Partly because everywhere is so expensive and I'm struggling.
Basically every penny I've had has been given to my son. Travel to see him. Hotels to stay near him. Private counselling when he felt bad. Hundreds each month towards living costs. I even paid for his girlfriends travel and so on. Basically just always trying to make him happy and make his life as nice as possible.
When he's struggled, I've spoken to student services or doctors or found counsellors. He struggled academically and I supported him every way possible. Googling, advice, advocating.
Anyway, he was due home from uni on 28th June so the plan was we'd have moved into a bigger place by then. But he got sick and ended up coming home mid April before we were prepared. So three of us in a very tiny 1 bed flat.
That lasted a couple of weeks, with us frantically trying to find a bigger house a couple of months earlier than we'd known was needed. I was at my wits end: sick partner, sick son, tiny flat and then I caught pneumonia and was very ill.
In the middle of that, I had to go (with pneumonia) across the country because my son had to vacate his halls of residence. So off I went with pneumonia, helped him pack, organised storage etc all whilst sleeping on the floor and eating pot noodles.
And in the midst of this had a horrible row with my son.
Basically, I was frantically trying to sort the housing situation but my son said because I'd "made him homeless" and was "too clingy" he wasn't spending summer with me and that he was an independent "adult" and told me his friends parents gave them stable homes and I didn't.
I was exhausted, sick, seriously depressed and so badly hurt that I shouted at him and told him we were a family and families lived together and as long as I financially supported him that he had to live with me in holidays. He said he'd grown up, fled the nest and would look after himself.
He decided to go and live with his girlfriend and said when I get a house sorted, they "might visit". I feel devasted in a way I can't really articulate.
Without my knowledge, he spoke to my wealthy, childless, brother. Who I'm not close t lives overseas, and who's always been judgemental. One comment I remember shortly after my son was born was "wow, you were the prettiest girl in school and look at you now - single Mum and you got fat".
Anyway, my brother got told I had money problems and health problems and he told my son he'd support him. He's giving him £1000 a month. He's also swooped in and taken over being a parent. He's sorted an issue I'd been trying to sort for months snd been hailed a hero.
I sent a message to my mother saying he was "on top of it now" and listing my son's problems he was dealing with (problems I was ALREADY completely on top of!!!) and now he's acting like I'm a deadbeat or useless.
My son needs to sort an academic problem and I said we'd do it together. He said he'd rather his uncle because he's good at it and being around me "makes him feel bad". He said I was in a bad place mentally and financially and to sort myself out.
My Mum is telling me I've no reason to be upset because I'm being "helped". So why does it feel like my horrible, judge, twat brother who's not ever so much as babysat my son had bought my kid for £1000?
I just feel completely devastated.