To ask how the hell you sleep with a newborn??

[PizzaPlease7]

DC3..you would think I had this, but no. DC1 and 2 slept like, well..babies! DC3 however is just over a week old and didn’t receive the memo about sleeping at night and waking up every couple of hours for a feed. He is awake all night long. I try and settle him and as soon as I put him down he’s fussing, trying to wriggle out of his swaddle and then wide awake. He was awake until 3am last night and then up every 40 mins or so until I gave up at 8am. I have had zero sleep pretty much and I’m wondering how people do this?! Is this normal? Was I lucky with 1&2?!

During the day he sleeps like an angel, practically all day and lets me put him down once he’s asleep and he will stay asleep. Any advice welcome I am shattered and not sure if my baby is broken!!!

Agree with @SparklyBlackKitten

DD slept at night from day we got home & did routine with her.

DS was keen to sleep all day & then wouldn't settle until around 1am. I was exhausted. So I used to attempt to keep him awake as much as possible. Gradually built up to longer wake times & he was sleeping at proper time from 6ish weeks old. But it took a lot of effort.

Both had last feed around 7/8pm and then dream feed around 11pm then morning feed at 7. So it wasn't 12 hours of no food.

Co-sleeping. I did it from the get go with my second and it honestly didn't feel like I went through the newborn stage as I'd known it the first time. Got plenty of sleep, fed lying down, dozed back to sleep, happy as Larry. I love our precious nights just the two of us and will miss it once it's gone!

Thank you all for suggestions and reassurance. I would love to co sleep but I have anxiety and I’m already incredibly paranoid about SIDS. Whilst I know there are ways to co sleep very safely, I have to follow the recommendation for the safest way to sleep or else I’ll drive myself (even more!) crazy.

I have been trying slightly longer wake times today and also have decided to ditch the swaddle for now. Will have a look at the ones where the arms are free.

Trying to keep a baby this age awake during the day will only land you in the realms of overtiredness and the baby will be even more difficult to settle.

Please don't try and keep them awake.

And again, it's because you produce prolactin at night, babies this age are instinctively feeding more at night I help milk production therefore waking a lot. Even if you bottle feed this is instinct for them.

They are meant to wake a lot at night

But it doesn't last forever, unless there's underlying issues such as reflux.

Just wanted to say a massive hug. It's really, really shit not sleeping. This, too shall pass ❤️

Same here. MW recommended feeding lying down, 10 years ago now.

Co-slept on the tricky nights/weeks in a super king, just me and her ❤️ Was sufficient sleep to feel rested and able to function.

I am in the exact same boat! Dc1 slept 1130 til 5 from 3wks old while dc3 is up every 2hrs and doesn't settle at night but will during the day. I'm like a half shut knife due to lack of sleep and it's taking its toll already

I scan read that as Chairman Mao.

I understand re the co sleeping but if you were to consider it;

Big mattress on floor.
Something soft ish (but not fluffy eg non fluffy rug) it if floor is not carpeted.
You in slim ish oodie or cardigan and slim sleeping bag.
Baby in sleeping bag and/or layered cellular blankets.
Baby possibly in sleep positioner on mattresses if there are any that haven't been banned/advised against.
Formula in ready made bottles, mini fridge near y for storage if not all drunk. If not BF exclusively obviously.
No bloke on bed at same time as baby.

You'll also have an inkling whether you are a deep sleeper and aware of your position or not. If you have the slightest doubts, I'd not try it.

Also have you tried womb sounds, heart beat etc white noise.

Also, there are some breathing monitors & alarms for babies.

No advice just solidarity and understanding. Mum of 3 here, had exactly the same experience with 2 wonderful sleepers - number 3 was (and still is) a law unto himself! He did not sleep for more than 3 hours straight until he was 11 months old. DH also worked night shifts by the time #3 came along and we had 2 under 5s at the time which I pretty much dealt with single handedly.
We all just about made it through the other side but we were planning on 4 children and this experience completely put an end to the idea any more kids. Good luck but I totally feel your pain!

@ADHDDDDDDDBOOM

Trying to keep a baby this age awake during the day will only land you in the realms of overtiredness and the baby will be even more difficult to settle

It worked for us. I wouldn't have coped with a 19 month old toddler and no sleep. DS went from faffing about all evening when he wanted to be awake to going to bed between 7&8 pm and staying there all night. It was hard work but it isn't impossible. It saved my sanity.

It’s very normal. Day&Night cycle is upside down and some babies just want to be held or not sleep at all!
Try naps outdoors during the day with lots of light to help him understand what “day” is - other than that, just try and rest as much as possible or have help with the nights.
Frequent feeding/nursing is also very normal preparing for the night (they know they need to eat but it doesn’t seem to register why 😅) and just try to avoid loud noises and harsh lights at night. It’ll be fine, but it might not be quick

You'll have to adjust your cycle around the baby for now so..sleep during the day.
Waking them up won't do any good it will only lead to a grizzly baby, they are supposed to feed more at night as prolactin levels are highest.
This settles after a couple months when breastfeeding is established (if you plan on fully bf).

Once they are around 3 months they should start sleeping longer at night. It's tough in the early days.

I had DS in a sleeping bag rather than swaddle. He slept like a frog would look if you could get it to lie on its back, so a swaddle would've been too confining.

One like this one where the bottom unzips so you can change them or if they've got hot feet (which DS also had).

Sounds like baby has turned night into day and vice versa.

I kept daytime naps in a very light and bright area covered with a light blanket... And night is always completely dark room and swaddled. I absolutely swear by love to dream swaddles. And my two preferred these to sleep in these rather than the traditional blanket swaddle.

Have you tried to alter anything on your routine? Maybe lavender scents in a bath or a little massage oil to do baby massage close to bedtime? Always helps relax bubs and you too.

Remember they feed off your energy too .. I know this is a hard time and adjusting to life with a newborn plus 2 older children, but I would say try and stay as relaxed as you can. You are also recovering too so don't give yourself too hard a time either