To ask how the hell you sleep with a newborn??

[PizzaPlease7]

DC3..you would think I had this, but no. DC1 and 2 slept like, well..babies! DC3 however is just over a week old and didn’t receive the memo about sleeping at night and waking up every couple of hours for a feed. He is awake all night long. I try and settle him and as soon as I put him down he’s fussing, trying to wriggle out of his swaddle and then wide awake. He was awake until 3am last night and then up every 40 mins or so until I gave up at 8am. I have had zero sleep pretty much and I’m wondering how people do this?! Is this normal? Was I lucky with 1&2?!

During the day he sleeps like an angel, practically all day and lets me put him down once he’s asleep and he will stay asleep. Any advice welcome I am shattered and not sure if my baby is broken!!!

Completely normal.

Will take time for baby to figure out day vs night.

Seems you were lucky with the first 2

I think you were lucky. Ds woke every 45 mins for… 2 years! He’s 3 now and still doesn’t sleep all night.
He’s never really slept daytime either without a lot of pram or sling walks when tiny.
We tried all the suggestions. He could have a short nap, long nap, lots to eat, night routine, and still not sleep

Its because you produce prolactin at night which is for milk production.

So whether you choose to breastfeed or not, babies are quite literally wired to wake more at night and sleep during the day for the first few weeks.

It doesn't happen with all babies of course, but it happens with the majority.

It will settle down.

You think they should keep a one week old baby awake during the day? 😂 How?!

Normal! Cosleep and don’t clock watch the nights, but get up at 7am (or whatever time works for you) each day and get daylight on that baby asap, plenty of noise and interaction. DS flipped his days/nights back around within a couple of weeks then settled down to sleep a glorious 22 hours in every 24 for a while, it was lovely. Bastard bastard four-month regression.

Sounds totally normal. Babies at this age don't know the difference between night and day and frequent waking is typical. I think you got lucky with your first two. It's such a tough age but doesn't last forever

Totally normal. Both of mine were like this. They both had acid reflux and dairy intolerance, once these were treated the sleep improved. Also I followed Charmian Meads book and routine which helped loads.

Do you have a partner? For the first 2 weeks when Dh was home, I’d hand him the baby and sleep as much between feeds as possible during the day.

Then he’d have them from about 7-8pm (for dc2 whenever dc1 was in bed) until 12-1am with a feed around 10pm. He did whatever was necessary to keep them asleep or content so I could sleep the first part of the night between feeds. A couple daytime naps and then a block of about 5 hours in the first half of the night meant the rest of the night was easier. Dh would then go to bed 12-1am to 6am while I was on night duty.

Co sleep and feed on demand lying down. If the baby is genuinely awake all night then you might have to have some 'sleep while the baby is sleeping' daytime naps. I know that's hard with three, but it's not forever.

Mine was like this, nocturnal for the first few weeks then built up how much he slept and slept through from 8 weeks (breastfed) and barely napped during the day in year 1 unless held or pushed in a pram. We slept in shifts for the first few weeks (4 hours each) and the other persevered with trying to get baby down. He'd actually sleep better with my partner while he did his shift, multitasking (gaming).

Severe reflux with my first. She screamed all night every night for first few months until diagnosis at a hospital . We both actually started hallucinating. It is the scariest thing. We started to hear noises and seeing things. Eventually my mum had to come and stay with us to give us some sleep. She didn’t sleep through until 2. I have distant memories of my husband having to put her in the pram and take her out at 3am in the snow to get to go to sleep. One night she woke up every half an hour and I developed an extreme migraine and had to seek hospital treatment. My next child just wanted feeding every 2 hours for the first year and wouldn’t take a bottle. So every single night I had to wake up. He didn’t sleep through until he was 8. When i hear people Say how awful their baby way as they didn’t sleep through until they were 6 months old I have to laugh a bit.

but despite all that they are now teens and sleep just fine. Somehow no matter how bad it is it does pass (you just have to remind yourself that!) and you struggle to remember the really awful bits. Active babies, now super sporty teens.

You don’t sleep with a newborn I am very surprised you imagined you would.

Yep, I had this with 2 of mine. 1 was a good sleeper.

Remember the new mother’s mantra: All things shall pass. This too shall pas. All things shall pass. This too shall pass.

It won’t spoil your baby to just go and plop yourself down in an armchair, hold them, stick the telly on and watch some bingey shows.

Slinging them, even though you’re sitting, is a good idea. Because they can and do roll off your lap when you begin to drop off…. Zzzzzzz…. Bump.

Don’t worry, they bounce!

I had this too - have never heard anyone else mention it. My second was a dreadful sleeper and I would have been in bits if it hadn't been for breastfeeding lying down with him.

I think you're right though - I suspect it wouldn't be recommended today although I never rolled over on to him and he happily slept next to me until his next feed. Never drank alcohol though as midwife advised against it when co-sleeping.

Similar experience. I was in a king size bed, with a duvet which I really didn't place over me. I would admit to not soundly falling asleep, but had sufficient sleep to get me through. The youngest always started off in his own bed, and then moved in with me for the first feed.

I slept between 4 and 6 hours per day in 90 minute shifts for the first ten months.

At least you now know why other people find the baby stage exhausting.

But I fully understand no midwives today are likely to share this advice with you

Why would you think that?

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom - it doesn't come without risks.

It is really normal, I would try keeping him awake as much as you can during the day and might encourage him to sleep more at night.

I co-slept and fed on my side too. Still, my first was just wide awake at night and it took about 8 weeks until night and day got switched the right way round. The co-sleeping at least got me a bare minimum of sleep that I could function on.

Our newborn hates swaddles too. He is better with the Love to Dream swaddle where the arms go up instead of being pinned down by his side. Still doesn't sleep well though.

@MimiSunshine just a suggestion based on experience, no need to be so aggro about it. Jesus.

Sounds like days and nights mixed up, DD2 did it. We gradually moved it round to the right way. Making them wake up more and more during the day.