To tip off a clairvoyant?

[Red0]

DP has been having a really hard tome recently and has suffered the death of a loved one which he’s really cut up about and really struggling with. Someone has recommended to him a clairvoyant and he really doesn’t believe in the afterlife at all and won’t be going in with an open mind.
AIBU/a nut job to contact this clairvoyant before he visits to give her a little tip off so she says something that has him believing a little more and hopefully give him some comfort? Nothing major just like the name of who I know he wants to hear from/about and maybe another tidbit or two. He would never find out, but might make him feel better.
It’s just crossed my mind now. What do people think?

I wanted to write that but couldn’t be arsed. If he’s paying for this and gets convinced it’s real, just imagine what it’ll do to not only his finances but his mental health

I understand why you might think this will be a good idea and provide him comfort but no, I don't think you should. If her finds out, he won't trust you again, he will feel embarrassed and he will feel like a fool for believing it, it will make things worse. I'm sorry for his loss but sadly the only thing that will help is time.

I agree with that. The very idea of clairvoyance is anathema to me, they are all tricksters and there is something sinister about it all.

It's odd that your husband is considering going to see one when he doesn't believe in the afterlife. It sounds as though he needs to talk to someone neutral about his bereavement but he won't get that from a 'professional' medium.

Take your well-meaning word for it.

If they were really clairvoyant they wouldn't need tipping off, would they!

I can see that your idea came from a good place but as you can probably admit yourself, it wasn't your finest idea :-)

A definite no

Ah you ment well,and no good deed goes unnoticed.i would be concerned about him being taking advantage of financially-if he hears something that means a lot to him,he may go back a lot and pay over the odds to hear more.best to leave it really and just be there for him 🙂

if My partner did this to me it would be the end of the relationship.

It's up there with the 3 worst ideas I've ever heard.

Spectacularly bad idea

I think you should steer him away from this course of action altogether. He is ripe to be exploited. In any case, I shouldn't think you'd need to tip the psychic off, they're experts at finding out information for themselves.

From what you've said you're admitting that you know the whole thing is a joke but you're going to send your partner along anyway to be treated like a mug

@Floralys2 Yes that was my exact thought process, for him to be treated like a mug 🙄

Honestly, a true skeptic wouldn't be going to see a clairvoyant in the first place.

Although your husband claims to be a skeptic, there is a part of him who is open to being convinced otherwise.

Anyway, I don't think your plan is a good one, although your intentions are good. I can well imagine the law of Unintended Consequences coming into play.

Why on earth would you do that? And why is he wasting his money going in an any case?

I would advise him not to go, going to a medium further messed up my sister's mental health when she was grieiving, I wouldn't mess with bereavement.

Grief is a normal, healthy psychological process. That doesn't mean it's a pleasant one but he needs to go through the stages to feel better.

I know you've decided against the original plan but if you want to help him then look towards facilitating the grieving process- being there to talk, suggesting counselling, perhaps commemorating the relative in a small way, showing that life goes on despite the pain by continuing to do nice things, have goals and enjoy pleasures that come up (yes to cake).

Don't attempt to circumvent grief fully or make it go away. Pointless. If anything I'd discourage him from going to the psychic at all and try a counsellor instead. If he has a faith maybe a visit to the church/ mosque/ whichever applies.

This happened with MIL. She was losing her mind totally when her DM passed away it was awful. BIL approached , paid and armed a psychic with a lot of information and MIL was instantly calm. I think it was necessary tbh and the intervention she needed of she would have been sectioned / harmed herself. Not ideal but done with the best intentions

A truly awful, potentially dangerous, massively unkind thing to do

I hope this thread is a joke.

But that’s the end result though right, send him in to be conned, if he ever found out he’d feel a right mug, done over by you. it’s clear you also don’t believe in this shite anyway, else you’d not consider it.

no idea why he’s going if neither of you believe, it’s just a waste of money, it’s a waste of money even if you did believe. But knowing it’s shite and still going is daft.

How about hypnotherapy? I have had recent sessions for something completely different and it's been brilliant. No hocus pocus - but talking, relaxing, learning how to reset your way of thinking. Changed my life.
And before anyone mentions stage hypnotists, they're a load of nonsense. A true hypnotherapist never does that sort of silly stuff. It's all positive. They can help with a wide range of problems. Never judge, totally trustworthy. Mine is, anyway, and I bet other properly trained and registered ones should be the same.
Good luck.

Wtf!! Insult to the clairvoyant and your husband!! My oh went to a popular one after his father passed away and she came out with stuff that proved she wasn't a fake.

Taking her to an actual medical professional would have been preferable, I feel.