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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a primary school child can watch TV for an hour while a parent WFH?

86 replies

SomeNights · 30/05/2023 22:18

I'm trying to work out future finances and one thing I'm trying to calculate is childcare costs once school starts.

DH and I both work from home, DH almost entirely, and me a couple of days a week. We live very close to the school (less than five minutes walk). AIBU to think that one day a week (probably Friday as very quiet for both of us) we could bring DC back at 330pm and either just finish working in the evening (we're both in roles that would allow this) or, I'm a worst case scenario and we had a meeting, could sit DC in front of the television for an hour with some snacks and work from the office in the room next door?

Or is this horribly neglectful and we should sick up needing after school club each day?

What kind of age might this be acceptable from? Top infants? Juniors?

Are there any pitfalls I might not have considered?

OP posts:
Bingpt · 02/06/2023 22:04

My 4 year old is working with me most days for 2 hours after his preschool.

He's good. But he's also been growing up with this since Covid hit age just under 1 and it does break my heart when he comes up to me on my laptop whispering when he needs something, in case I'm taking a call.
It's part of his nature now.
My other children would not have been as well behaved at his age.

I think it's fine to work with them as long as their needs are taken care of too.
I'd also considered sectioning off part of the garden where I could see him play outside. Never did it but another option. Also, lots of toys, playdoh is a good one and not noisey. Lots of books, a few drawing materials and jigsaws all help.

I've probably saved a fortune on childcare.

nahwhale · 02/06/2023 22:06

Put in a formal request to compress hours

Yerroblemom1923 · 02/06/2023 22:07

Of course it's fine! isn't this one of the many benefits of wfh - you don't have to fork out for childcare.

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 02/06/2023 22:10

I think this is fine, especially as there are 2 of you at home. You could always (if allowed) move your lunch break to after school time for that day as well - I'd be allowed to do this where I work.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/06/2023 22:14

One day a week Esp Friday would
Be fine. A snack and film
On tv or iPad games /show

Not sure I would do every day rather then pay for asc /cm

My 6yr (year 1) would be fine with this

Often she comes home on Friday shattered and does this anyway and ignores me 😂

Freshlysteamedvajayjay · 02/06/2023 22:19

We do similar… DH and I both WFH on Fridays and do this and then we each do one day a week where only one of us is at home. DC8 is fine and used to it after the covid years, knows to be quiet and not interrupt if we are clearly on the phone, DC 5 is in Reception and starting to get the hang of it but happy with TV/snack/activity set up.
Both of us have a lot of meetings but reasonable flexibility over our schedule and I block out pickup time in my calendar. If I’m WFH I tend to start a little earlier/work later anyway.
Most people I know do this anyway, we are all quite open about it in my team and respect the pickup time. I wouldn’t do it every day of the week, but a few days is fine and my kids look forward to their Friday ‘lazy day’ as they come home to relax, get snacks and extra screen time.

Jk987 · 02/06/2023 22:40

Can't see an issue. 1 hour a week is absolutely nothing.

PrincessesRUs · 02/06/2023 22:46

My daughter is fine with this. Provided with a snack and tv and she's very happy!

Yerroblemom1923 · 03/06/2023 02:53

You might struggle in the school holidays so maybe start training them to keep quiet when you're working now. Some employers don't think it's professional to have kids around, especially if your job involves making lots of phone calls to people.

Ragwort · 03/06/2023 04:31

Surely it depends on the nature of your job (as well as the nature of your DC)? I work in retail and since lockdown many of the 'support' roles are clearly done from home and trying to get 'support' has been noticeably worse. It may be that our organisation are just not organised enough to work from home but it has led to a noticeable break down in communication which may or may not be due to some colleagues not focusing so much on their work.

Hairbrushhandle · 03/06/2023 04:55

I find my dd (8) can steal the bandwidth as she'll watch Netflix so she now goes and draws/colours/does weird 8 year old fashion shows/anything that's quiet in her room for an hour or so. I think she actually appreciates the quiet after a noisy school day.

ArdeteiMasazxu · 03/06/2023 05:01

I have WFH since pre-covid times and I had DC in after school childcare till 5pm until the end of y4. At the younger years it wouldn't have worked - they seem to intellectually understand when you say you are busy but they will still come and interrupt every 5 minutes to show you a super cool lego thing or tell you in detail about the hilarious slapstick moment that just occurred in the cartoon they are watching. It's preferable to use after school care until you are genuinely available to be mentally and physically there for them and able to engage.

NumberTheory · 03/06/2023 05:02

Hairbrushhandle · 03/06/2023 04:55

I find my dd (8) can steal the bandwidth as she'll watch Netflix so she now goes and draws/colours/does weird 8 year old fashion shows/anything that's quiet in her room for an hour or so. I think she actually appreciates the quiet after a noisy school day.

Not that you have to do this, because you seem to have found a solution that works for you anyway, but most home Internet set ups nowadays will let you set priority devices so you can ensure your work computers get the bandwidth they need even if your DD is streaming on 10 other devices at the same time. Your Internet provider would probably walk you through setting it up if you use their hardware.

autienotnaughtym · 03/06/2023 07:05

I would say fine from year three if your child is ok with it. My ds comes home and watches tv for an hour while I get tea ready. He enjoys the chill time

CoronationArmy · 03/06/2023 08:06

My child has been going this 2/3 days a week since F2 for 1.5 hours. Personally I think it’s far preferable to going to an after school club which is busy and noisy when all they want to do is chill out and eat snacks. They aren’t forced to watch TV. They can potter about and play too.

Hairbrushhandle · 03/06/2023 08:29

NumberTheory · 03/06/2023 05:02

Not that you have to do this, because you seem to have found a solution that works for you anyway, but most home Internet set ups nowadays will let you set priority devices so you can ensure your work computers get the bandwidth they need even if your DD is streaming on 10 other devices at the same time. Your Internet provider would probably walk you through setting it up if you use their hardware.

Show quote history

I prefer her not to have TV but I also have to compete with DH as he's on calls at the same time. We have just been linked to the new super fast fibre or something next month so hoping it's a thing of the past. I won't be telling dd though!

NumberTheory · 03/06/2023 08:37

Hairbrushhandle · 03/06/2023 08:29

I prefer her not to have TV but I also have to compete with DH as he's on calls at the same time. We have just been linked to the new super fast fibre or something next month so hoping it's a thing of the past. I won't be telling dd though!

Show quote history

Good plan!
if the super fast fiber isn’t good enough you could sneakily implement the prioritization against DH Wink

Panda89 · 03/06/2023 09:03

I do this with DD6 most days, I use half an hour of my lunch break to pick her up, get home, get snacks and have a chat (school is only a 2 min walk away).
Then she will watch TV, do crafts, play outside, generally chill out whilst I work at the dining table.
In the school holidays we take annual leave or book her into clubs.
I work in IT so don’t take calls, and don’t tend to have meetings in the afternoon, so it works really well and she would rather be at home than at after school club.

LlynTegid · 03/06/2023 09:05

The only thing I'd find unreasonable in this is someone having a work meeting at 4pm on a Friday afternoon, unless it was genuinely unforeseen events that led to this.

StormShadow · 03/06/2023 09:43

LlynTegid · 03/06/2023 09:05

The only thing I'd find unreasonable in this is someone having a work meeting at 4pm on a Friday afternoon, unless it was genuinely unforeseen events that led to this.

Yeah, even when I was full time office based nobody would've been impressed with that one.

Grumpyfroghats · 03/06/2023 12:22

CoronationArmy · 03/06/2023 08:06

My child has been going this 2/3 days a week since F2 for 1.5 hours. Personally I think it’s far preferable to going to an after school club which is busy and noisy when all they want to do is chill out and eat snacks. They aren’t forced to watch TV. They can potter about and play too.

Mine tell me that they prefer ASC!

I think it's partly that they are very sociable children, partly that it's a well run ASC with options for what you do (including a quiet corner and separately a TV space, and partly that they don't like being at home when we are WFH and not fully available to them.

But every child is different, as a child I would have been fine pottering on my own after school at home

PetitPorpoise · 03/06/2023 12:30

Mine would be fine with this. He's not talkative straight after school and just wants to chill for a bit. We have catch up time after dinner while it's bath and story time.

Natsku · 03/06/2023 12:39

Perfectly fine once they are old enough to understand they need to wait and not interrupt you, that age will vary according to child, I think DS at 5 would manage now, he was pretty good at giving me peace and quiet for my online lessons earlier this year but DD at 5 would not.

Outofthepark · 03/06/2023 12:42

Oh FGS of course it's ok!!

An hour of entertainment after coming home from school, watching cartoons or whatever, is fine and even a nice thing for them, to switch off and relax.

IAmTheWalrus85 · 03/06/2023 12:49

We’ve been doing this since reception because our school’s ASC doesn’t run on Fridays.

It’s worked fine. My DH starts work as early as possible on Fridays while I do getting ready and drop off, so that he’s done about 7.5 hours work by 3pm anyway. Then he does pick up and gets DS tea. Typically DS will just watch TV for 1-1.5 hours but if he needs anything he goes to my DH.

He really enjoys ASC but he’s so exhausted by Friday we’ve found he’s happy to just lie on the sofa.