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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with my siblings for insisting our mum gets a Samsung phone?

82 replies

Smangsung · 30/05/2023 21:02

Namechanged for this and swapped a few details.

I am one of 3 siblings. Our dad died last summer which means our mum is now on her own a lot more and using a mobile more than she did. My dad was a massive Apple fan and they both have/had iPads and my mum has an iPhone. My dad had a very old Nokia.

Anyway, my mum's iPhone 6 doesn't retain battery charge very well now as it's old so sibling A suggested that we club together for a new phone for her birthday at the end of February. Great!

We talked about budget and agreed £100 each so I researched refurbed iPhones for that sort of price. Sibling A said that actually it would be much better for mum to have a Samsung as £300 will buy a pretty good new phone. As our mum is in her 80s I thought learning how to use a new phone would be a bit tricky but both siblings overruled me and said Samsung was loads better than Apple.

I have an Apple and they're both Samsung users so I backed down and agreed that we should get her a Samsung.

On her birthday, sibling A said they would stay after the birthday lunch and set the new phone up. After several hours, they gave up as actually it seems it's not that simple to transfer content from an iPhone to a Samsung. They said they'd come back and do it another time.

They were visiting again this weekend. Apparently they were 'too stressed' to do it this time too.

So I've spent £130 (it went up) on a present for my widowed mother on her first birthday after her husband died which is sitting in a drawer. Our dad was a really thoughtful and considerate gift giver. I know our mum will be sad and disappointed.

I don't think AIBU to be pissed off but I'd like suggestions on what to do. I don't want to have to learn how to use the new android phone but is that the only thing I can do?

OP posts:
bungaloid · 31/05/2023 05:57

I honestly wouldn't bother switching models. The WhatsApp transfer has always been painful, though it looks to have improved slightly. Check the WhatsApp FAQ - though you'll need your battery to last long enough for the transfer.
https://faq.whatsapp.com/1295296267926284/?ref=share

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/05/2023 06:17

I hate intuitive devices as my brain doesn’t seem to work that way. I would really struggle to switch to android. I hope your sibling manages to sort this. If not, then would be the time to return the phone. Your mum doesn’t need any barriers to communicating.

autumnboys · 31/05/2023 06:21

My Mum got herself a Samsung and ended up taking it back to the shop as she couldn’t get to grips with it. They swapped it for something she could understand. We think things are intuitive but it actually is familiarity.

User18538754 · 31/05/2023 07:04

It's not just setting it up though, she also has to use it on a daily basis and it will be all separate from her iPad, if she was 20 years younger that would probably be fine. Long term she need to just stay with similar to what she had before which is a newer iPhone

grass321 · 31/05/2023 07:35

I think the whole Apple/Android incompatibility is over-exaggerated (particularly by Apple fans). I have both and it's not difficult to transfer for a competent adult to switch things over.

My son recently changed from a Samsung to iPhone and it took him less than an hour to switch everything.

My parents are in their 80s so I understand the joys of solving their mobile phone issues. But Samsungs really aren't that different to iPhones, particularly if she mainly uses WhatsApp. As a PP has said, you back up the chats and log in on her new phone.

Createausername1970 · 31/05/2023 08:18

nicky2512 · 30/05/2023 21:55

Totally know what you mean. It took ages to teach my dad to use a mobile (dd’s old iPhone). We get calls all the time asking how to do something and it’s easy to help as it will be the same on our phones.
Also there’s no way we could ever teach him to use something different. He just doesn’t take instructions in as well anymore. So much easier to keep things the same for an easy life.

Oh yes! My sister gave my parents her old phone when she got a new one. This was pre smart phone, so it was still push button.

When I went round a few weeks later they said they couldn't make it work. I asked to see it, and mum produced out of her handbag the remote control for their new stereo 🤣

Sorryyoufeelthatwayy · 31/05/2023 08:24

Gosh the android fan girls out in full force. Get a life.
Why buy a present for someone they can’t use and you can’t be arsed to sort out.

OP your siblings are selfish dicks- sorry.

Sorryyoufeelthatwayy · 31/05/2023 08:26

The issue here is looking after elderly relatives. Siblings here loved making the big gesture, but won’t put in the work.
OP just be warned this may be a sign of things to come in my experience.

rookiemere · 31/05/2023 08:27

Sell it on and get an iphone 11/12 for her.

She is elderly and has lost her DH, she should be encouraged to keep using technology as much as possible to keep in touch. She is happy with and knows how to use Apple products, why would anyone push to buy her something different.

billyt · 31/05/2023 08:28

it's definitely about familiarity rather than what is a better OS.

I've had Apple devices for years. iPhones, iPads, iPods, and I'm typing this on a MacBook.

Work phone used to be Android. Made life so slow when changing from one OS to the other. So when work changed our phones last year I asked if I could have an iPhone. Didn't cost them anymore, but made my life so much smoother.

Change the bloody phone Grin

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 31/05/2023 08:28

I utterly detest apple these days. However in your situation i'd have bought an iPhone. Familiarity is more important. And iphones are user friendly.

I dont know if you have one near you but samsung also have sjops like apple do. They do tech support sessions and lessons. Is this something you could do with your mum?

Alternatively i'd look at returning or selling off and purchasing an iphone for her.

SeasonFinale · 31/05/2023 08:32

As a previous iPhone user who switched to iPhone persist. Samsung has been so much better.

Nice man in Curry's transferred all my stuff over really quickly for me. Where did you buy the phone from? Perhaps they can help.

MorrisZapp · 31/05/2023 08:36

My mum had to replace her phone recently and MY GOD the handwringing about apple versus Android.

Should I get an apple?

Yes mum, they're great.

But it's not that simple! Sheila's son says Android are so much more future proof.

Cool! Get an android then.

But maybe an android wouldn't work with my iPad?

It probably wouldn't mum, get an apple.

But I'm hearing they crash a lot...

AAARGH! For the love of god mother, mobile phones are all generic slabs of glass that you touch. They connect you to apps, send messages and even make calls. With a cover on, you literally can't tell them apart. Just get a fkn phone and start living with it!

BashfulClam · 31/05/2023 08:52

chupachucks · 30/05/2023 21:26

Not exactly hard to learn how to use an android phone. Your over reacting and it sounds like your just pissed off because they did not by an apple phone.

So my hyperbole. Might good for you to sit down and actually have a play around with it and do something useful if it's sat in her draw, take it and learn how to use it, it will only take you a couple of hours.

You never know you might get over the fixation on Apple products, after all there is nothing special and no magic apple dust that makes them magical devices.

Husband bought an android after using Apple since 2009, after 6 months he found it so infuriating he traded it in for an Apple losing £500, it was that bad and he’s tech savvy. My friend has android and keeps asking for my help, I have to google what she wants on my phone then help her. I will never change to android. Totally don’t blame the OP.

Original poster
Smangsung · 31/05/2023 08:58

SeasonFinale · 31/05/2023 08:32

As a previous iPhone user who switched to iPhone persist. Samsung has been so much better.

Nice man in Curry's transferred all my stuff over really quickly for me. Where did you buy the phone from? Perhaps they can help.

I didn't buy it so no idea. Hopefully sibling B can sort it out, mum can adapt quickly and it has better battery life (which is the only reason she wanted a new phone at all!)

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 31/05/2023 09:02

Smangsung · 31/05/2023 08:58

I didn't buy it so no idea. Hopefully sibling B can sort it out, mum can adapt quickly and it has better battery life (which is the only reason she wanted a new phone at all!)

Show quote history

Yes battery life was reason for my change too

CharlottenBurger · 31/05/2023 09:11

Do people think that Samsung are the only Android phones? When my iPhone 6 went kaput (failing battery) I got a Motorola G8 Power and I am totally happy with it and saved a load of money compared with an Apple product. I was 69 and found the switch pretty easy. A phone is a phone.

sanityisamyth · 31/05/2023 09:23

@Createausername1970 My mother was supposed to be meeting me for lunch (90 minute drive for her). DS and I got there a bit early and we were having bets on how late she'd be (she always is!). When she was 15 minutes late I called her mobile which kept ringing. After 2 hours we gave up (and had eaten!) to then see a call from her landline number calling me. Basically there Wa a a traffic jam and she'd driven home again. Couldn't let me know as she'd brought the cordless landline handset with her, and not her mobile phone 🙈🙈🙈

PurpleFlower1983 · 31/05/2023 09:25

Return it! Your mum’s new iPhone will be near identical to her old one, very silly to decide to change it.

WotNoUserName · 31/05/2023 09:45

I swapped from iPhone to Samsung a year ago. Getting my WhatsApp messages moved over took a few goes, but my DP managed it in the end. I like my phone, though I find it no better or worse than an iPhone tbh.

However, at your mums age I would have got her like for like. Far simpler, and change is hard (I stressed enough about changing my phone, I only did it because I couldn't afford the higher prices iPhones go for)

nicky2512 · 31/05/2023 10:02

*@Createausername1970 That cheered me up! Sounds just like something my dad would do!

saraclara · 31/05/2023 11:19

Jeeze, there's no point in discussing the android vs Apple thing throughout this thread. It's not the point.

Mum is 80. She's used to one system. Landing her with another at her age is hardly a considerate birthday present. The siblings have made her life worse for her, not better, simply because they're in the android tribe (I have an Samsung too, but I don't go round insisting that anyone else should)

Original poster
Smangsung · 01/06/2023 16:31

I thought I'd update. Adult grandchild spent yesterday transferring everything across to new phone.

My mum called me today and said she's going to ask her neighbour to put the SIM card back in the old phone for her when her neighbour gets back from work. WhatsApp doesn't work properly, she can't make her online banking app work and she can't find her apps. And it's much heavier than her old phone and too big for her hand.

This is one of those occasions when I really didn't want to be right and I'm furious at how much time, money and stress this whole thing has caused.

And just to reiterate what other people have said - this is nothing to do with what operating system is better, it's about familiarity and ease of use. We should have just got her a new iPad instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smangsung · 01/06/2023 16:31

Also I'm annoyed I didn't choose Samstung as my username instead as it would have been much better!

OP posts:
BonjourCrisette · 01/06/2023 22:29

I hope you can return it and get her something more suitable. Good luck.