Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if he has an agenda?

36 replies

FattyAirways · 28/05/2023 00:09

My best friend and I fell out in January. He had told me the previous week that a night out might be happening with our other friends and that he would let me know. The day before the potential night out, I texted him to ask if it was happening and he said yes, that him and named other friends who were going. When I asked if I was invited, all he replied with was no. Upon further questioning he made a few excuses, he said some unkind things about my personality and we went to and fro with messages and then he blocked me!

We have since crossed paths on our commute around six times but he has always looked away very quickly or pretended not to see me, until recently when I was sat in an eatery, he walked past, saw I was in there and came in and we talked for a good ten minutes. I then messaged him on a social media platform that I am not on and said it was nice to see him and that I hoped he had a good evening. I didn't receive a reply. He sees the message though.

I think for him having seen me, made the effort to come and talk to me and then not message me back is really odd! Why would he do that? Any ideas into the working of his brain?

OP posts:
Greenflamesburn · 28/05/2023 00:40
  1. He is nosy? What did you talk about for the 10 minutes?
  2. He enjoys ghosting people.
  3. He's weird.
4 He saw something in you he didn't like and isn't able/willing to tell you. Try and think nothing off it and carry on with your life. Make new friends. How long had you been best friends?
Divorcedalongtime · 28/05/2023 00:50

You can drive yourself crazy with the whys. It doesn’t exactly matter why he did it, what does matter is that he doesn’t want your friendship and you are wasting time and energy on him.

Nugg · 28/05/2023 00:52

He's really not your best friend surely. He sounds weird and narcissistic. What a strange way to behave beyond teenage!

Tannedandfake · 28/05/2023 00:53

Have you posted about this before?

steff13 · 28/05/2023 01:08

Are you the poster who told her gay best friend that she had feelings for him? If so I would just block him and ignore him.

barmycatmum · 28/05/2023 01:12

He’s not worth any energy. Who cares why he spoke to you. My question is: why did you speak to him?

women put up with far too much garbage treatment from men. This is not even remotely a friend.

lose him. Ignore him. He’s a twat

Haywirecity · 28/05/2023 01:29

Who cares what his motivation is? He's horrible. Get a new friend.

Sickofchangingmyfuckingusername · 28/05/2023 02:09

Really not much of a friend.

JMSA · 28/05/2023 02:15

Unless we were to get his side of the story, it's impossible for us to hazard a guess.
Sorry this has happened to you though.

autienotnaughtym · 28/05/2023 06:29

Not nice to include then not include you on night out. Also not nice to block you. I would be polite if you see him in public but otherwise I would not be pursuing this friendship

AngelasAirpods · 28/05/2023 06:37

Why are you falling over yourself to get in touch with him (on a platform you’re not on) to thank him for coming to see you and making an effort? Wtf?

He unkindly mentioned a night out, didn’t invite you, said horrid things about your personality, blocked you, avoided you for months. Then the minute he pops into a cafe to chat to you, you’re practically all over him to thank him? Why?

agree with @barmycatmum post, he’s no friend to you. Steer clear of him, he’s not good for your emotional health. He’s a head fuck.

pilates · 28/05/2023 06:40

He is not your best friend.

GoodChat · 28/05/2023 06:43

What did he say in those 10 minutes?
Was it just casual talk?

This relationship is done. Forget about him. You can acknowledge him as an acquaintance on your commute but, past that, you're no longer friends, and you'll probably never know why.

FattyAirways · 28/05/2023 06:52

AngelasAirpods · 28/05/2023 06:37

Why are you falling over yourself to get in touch with him (on a platform you’re not on) to thank him for coming to see you and making an effort? Wtf?

He unkindly mentioned a night out, didn’t invite you, said horrid things about your personality, blocked you, avoided you for months. Then the minute he pops into a cafe to chat to you, you’re practically all over him to thank him? Why?

agree with @barmycatmum post, he’s no friend to you. Steer clear of him, he’s not good for your emotional health. He’s a head fuck.

When did I thank him for seeing me? I texted to say it was nice to see him and that I hoped he had a nice evening. That is all.

Also, who says I wasn't on the platform I messaged him on? I messaged him on a platform I am on and certainly didn't fall over myself. It took less than a minute to text him.

OP posts:
FattyAirways · 28/05/2023 06:58

GoodChat · 28/05/2023 06:43

What did he say in those 10 minutes?
Was it just casual talk?

This relationship is done. Forget about him. You can acknowledge him as an acquaintance on your commute but, past that, you're no longer friends, and you'll probably never know why.

Yes just casual talk about work and general life. I wonder that after blanking me for so long, why he came to talk to me?

OP posts:
steff13 · 28/05/2023 07:09

FattyAirways · 28/05/2023 06:52

When did I thank him for seeing me? I texted to say it was nice to see him and that I hoped he had a nice evening. That is all.

Also, who says I wasn't on the platform I messaged him on? I messaged him on a platform I am on and certainly didn't fall over myself. It took less than a minute to text him.

You said you messaged him on a social media platform that you are not on.

I then messaged him on a social media platform that I am not on

Murdoch1949 · 28/05/2023 07:26

Actually, YOU said you messaged him on a platform that you were not on, in your first post.

red78hot · 28/05/2023 07:27

FattyAirways · 28/05/2023 06:52

When did I thank him for seeing me? I texted to say it was nice to see him and that I hoped he had a nice evening. That is all.

Also, who says I wasn't on the platform I messaged him on? I messaged him on a platform I am on and certainly didn't fall over myself. It took less than a minute to text him.

Er it's right there?

To wonder if he has an agenda?
KiwiMum2023 · 28/05/2023 07:32

Bonkers

Neverinamonthofsundays · 28/05/2023 08:40

KiwiMum2023 · 28/05/2023 07:32

Bonkers

Some people think Im bonkers but I just think Im me, Im living my life theres nothing crazy bout meeeeeee...

ChristmasFluff · 28/05/2023 09:09

He wanted to be sure that you are still available for him to use, even though he has treated you really badly.

You have confirmed that you are - by speaking to him and then following up with a message. So he doesn't have to bother being nice to you again until he wants something.

I suggest you block him, blank him when you see him, and get some self-respect.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 28/05/2023 09:12

I’d really ignore a game playing idiot like this. Not worth your time. He loves the power and drama. (Unless there’s a huge backstory!)

TedMullins · 28/05/2023 09:12

AngelasAirpods · 28/05/2023 06:37

Why are you falling over yourself to get in touch with him (on a platform you’re not on) to thank him for coming to see you and making an effort? Wtf?

He unkindly mentioned a night out, didn’t invite you, said horrid things about your personality, blocked you, avoided you for months. Then the minute he pops into a cafe to chat to you, you’re practically all over him to thank him? Why?

agree with @barmycatmum post, he’s no friend to you. Steer clear of him, he’s not good for your emotional health. He’s a head fuck.

This. The only thing you should’ve said to him when he came into the cafe was “fuck off”.

BackAgainstWall · 28/05/2023 09:12

Because he’s an unkind bastard.

Why are bothering with an arsehole should be your question.

Honestly dump him and find some proper and decent friends.

Don’t fill your brain with him, he’s clearly not worth it 💐

IamnotSethRogan · 28/05/2023 09:13

Did you post about this, pretty much word for word a while ago?

I really think you should stop giving him head space