Entitled parent?

[MusicalityM]

I’m an instrumental tutor and visit schools each week. I have a particular parent who I’m finding a little difficult and wondered what other parents think about this situation.

The child in question frequently forgets their instrument, but I there’s generally a spare instrument at the school so they can still come for their lesson and use that.

Although my t’s & c’s require payment 24 hours before the lesson, this parent will often pay after the lesson. I try and be flexible as I know a lot of people are struggling financially and music tuition isn’t exactly top of this list so I don’t say anything and just send a polite reminder text by the day after and then they pay.

last week the instrument was forgotten again but on this day we couldn’t find the spare. I asked if she still wanted to come to the lesson to see what we covered and the homework etc and she agreed.

I then text the parent about payment and was told they wouldn’t be paying as she didn’t have a ‘proper lesson’. Parent then said maybe I should just bill them each month or so for the lessons she’s had. They added ‘it may be helpful if I text a reminder the day before the lesson!

Is this completely entitled behaviour? I certainly will not be offering lessons in advance of payment as this is obviously an ineffective way to run a business!

The girl is a lovely student who’s really bright and enthusiastic , but I really don’t want to deal with the parent anymore.

AIBU to suggest they sign up with local music service so she’ll be allocated a different tutor? Do you think this parent is a bit entitled?

It's the suggestion that you send a reminder of the actual lesson which would have tipped me over the edge, and that's without the money issues

Basically they're trouble, and since it's not going to get any better I'd cut loose and offer the place to someone else

I would say something also the lines of this-

'Dear Cheeky Parent,
Thank you for your recent message.
All lessons must be paid for prior to lesson. This was agreed in advance with the school. I reserve the right to not teach your child if payment has not be received.

If a child forgets their instrument, I will endeavour to find a spare one at school. However, if I cannot, you will still be charged for the lesson.

With regards your kind suggestion that I text you the date before XXX's lesson- here is a list of the dates for the rest of the term/year for you to input into your phone calendar. I hope this is helpful.

Many thanks,

Teacher just trying to do her job'

I don't know where you are in the UK but good music teachers are a rarity around my area. It's your income and she needs a gentle reminder of this.

It depends how full you are op. Can you fill her space?

I run my own business, a different industry. I have long waiting lists, so I have no problem saying to any pita parent 'sorry, I'm fully booked.' This includes people who have to be chased for payment, I don't need to do that, so I'm not going to create work for myself. They get one chance, and I never say anything, just 'sorry, I'm fully booked.' the next time they ask.

I agree with everything to said with regards to this situation but I don’t agree with the ideology that music/playing music is a luxury item and if you can’t afford to be involved with this elite pursuit you should just suck it up and be grateful your not starving.

No. This is not ok. Talk to the music department and/or the admin staff member who oversees the peripatetic music teachers. Tell them what’s happened to cover your back.

100% switch to payment up front for half a term (or a whole term).

We pay for a whole term in advance and have to give a whole terms notice to quit. That’s standard.

I'm feeling the stress of this on your behalf!

was told they wouldn’t be paying as she didn’t have a ‘proper lesson’. Parent then said maybe I should just bill them each month or so for the lessons she’s had
This is unacceptable. I think it would be better just to remove the child for non payment.
"Dear CF Parent,
Music lesson T&Cs are clear that lessons are payable in advance and require children to bring their own instruments. Your child attended a lesson on X date; you have not paid and you have confirmed by email on DATE that you are not willing to pay for lessons according to T&Cs. I have therefore removed your child from the register effective immediately. I wish ChildName every success in her future studies.
Regards,
@MusicalityM"

They must be able to afford it - what difference if it's after or day before to them?
I'd respond with: 'I'm happy to take monthly payment in advance. May I also remind you that your child should bring their instrument with them for each lesson as I cannot guarantee their will be a spare available '
As nice as their child may be, this is your living. Also do you have a cancellation policy? You could say without an k strummer this will kick in and they need to pay regardless as it's not your fault they. Ant seem to remember to bring it in.
This is your business snd you have to be strict.

I'd text back the parent that your terms are payment before the lesson and they pay for your time. If their child forgets her instrument that is beyond your control, and payment must still be made and you'd ask them respectfully to consider if they still wish to book your service on these conditions. Add invoice for the last lesson.

I think you’re all right and I need to be far stricter! I think a lot of parents don’t read the terms & conditions. I’ve noticed a lot that even though I have a 24 hour cancellation policy many parents come back with ‘I wasn’t able to give 24:hours notice they were ill on the day of the lesson’ and expect me to carry the lesson over. I don’t carry it over but will see the child for longer the following week as a compromise (time permitting). Perhaps I shouldn’t even feel I have to do that?

There’s no music department or teacher (it’s a small primary) but I did mention it to the class room teacher who described the parent as a bit ‘off’ and ‘spiky’ but she said she put it down to cultural differences.

'they wouldn’t be paying as she didn’t have a ‘proper lesson’. Parent then said maybe I should just bill them each month or so for the lessons she’s had. They added ‘it may be helpful if I text a reminder the day before the lesson'

Oh throw that back at them.

Dear Parent

I was available to provide a proper lesson however it wasn't possible* *Miss Perfect left her instrument at home.

It maybe helpful if you paid monthly in advance I am more than happy to accommodate monthly payments - in advance - as with the rest of my Ts&Cs.

If I don't receive payment for the last lesson and the next one before Tuesday I'll consider the lessons terminated.

Poorly paid teacher

This. You made your time available. The parent needs to pay.

Parent sounds like a nightmare and I'd stop teaching the child if you can fill the slot with another pupil.

You should still be paid for your time, instrument is their responsibility. Put it back on the parents, do as you suggested. X

I'd be sending a short note to all parents reminding of cancellation notice, lessons will not be carried over, if instruments are forgotten the lesson will still need paid for, if lessons are not paid for in advance then child will not be able to attend.

OP I’m also a peri teacher, I teach singing in a secondary. This absolutely would not fly at my current school, all students have to pay at least termly upfront.

I used to teach at a school where I handled invoices myself and occasionally allowed parents who were struggling to pay weekly, but I frequently ended up unpaid. From my experience parents forget that they’re paying for a private service particularly if their child receives these lessons at a state school, they seem to forget that instrumental teachers are self employed and depend on their prompt payment to pay their bills. I’ve recently decided to be much stricter and I definitely don’t feel bad if a parent stops lessons due to disagreements about paying/expecting me to make up missed lessons for free.

Definitely suggest she change teacher if you won’t miss that money and would rather not deal with the hassle. I’ve learnt it’s really not worth it, even though it’s a real shame when the student is not at fault.

The parent is completely out of order.

If you give an inch to this kind of person they will take a mile.
You let them pay late- paying you is not a priority.
You find the child an instrument if it's forgotten- remembering an instrument is not important.
Be firm, you are doing a job that requires payment! Non negotiable!

I would explain that it is actually more work for you if the child doesn't have her instrument. You have been happy to cover the extra effort, but it is an effort to find a spare instrument, or to integrate a child who is not prepared for the lesson. You will of course be charging for all lessons attended, and in the future, if this child is not prepared for the lesson, you may be unable to accommodate her.

Absolutely do not allow for them not to pay for the last lesson. That is a boundary you must hold otherwise you are devaluing your work. Someone paying for music lessons for their child is hardly living hand to mouth. It’s a luxury! Also what about your financial situation?! It’s simply not ok not to pay someone for their work. I assume you’re self employed?!

I would reply “As per my terms and conditions (attached) lessons cannot be cancelled less than 24 hrs in advance and , it is the child responsibility to come to the lesson with their instrument. Flo did attend music lesson Friday and I tutored her on X,Y,Z but practical wasn’t possible because she did not bring her instrument. Therefore payment of the lesson is still required. Also as per my terms and conditions payment is required in advance. I can arrange monthly payment if that is more convenient but I will require payment a month in advance.”

Be prepared to loose them as a client. Also I’d be more mindful to pull up other clients.
maybe you need to start charging a late payment fee?

I think it’s quite normal to pay termly in advance for music lessons. I’ve certainly never know any music teacher to allow payment in arrears, and definitely not an option to not pay if they happened to forget their instrument. That’s just bonkers.

Asking you to txt a reminder is really taking the piss.

Id say to them “going forward, I’m going to need payment for the month/ term in advance, and they will be no lessons of payment is not made on time. Please let me know if you want to stop lessons if that doesn’t work for you.”

It's on you to remember to remind the parent the day before the lesson?!?!

That's not on.

I would throw it back to the parent that of course you will accept 1 month payment at a time - in advance.

If they want a reminder of the lesson (presumably they were worried about the child forgetting the instrument rather than them not paying you), offer to help them set up a reminder on their phone. The effect for them will be the same as a text anyway.

I’d send out a letter/email/reminder stating that as of such and such date all lessons must be paid for atleast one week in advance. If children forget instruments the lesson is still chargeable.
I would then refuse children who hadn’t paid in advance.

If the pupil is regularly forgetting the instrument I would be wondering how much they really wanted to do ir vs pressure from the parent.

I'd suggest that paying monthly is a great idea, and they can do a month in advance. Alternatively suggest they set up an automatic payment to save having send reminders. I'd also remind them that it's their responsibility to bring their instrument. I'd sent one communication with this, and then if you don't need the business drop them. Not worth the hassle. Probably not entitled, just lazy, disorganised and cheeky.

I think you should respond by stating that you have been flexible enough up to this point and that she has signed legally binding terms and conditions. You expect payment for the lesson and from now on you would like payment 24hrs prior as per said T&C’s, which may in turn inspire her to remind her kid to bring her instrument as everyone else seems to manage.

I teach people to drive. I ask for payment 24 hrs in advance by bank transfer. No payment, no lesson. I do send a text 24 hrs before as a reminder and that’s often when people tell me they can’t make the lesson.
Even with 24 hrs notice though I can rarely fill the space.