Why can't I do this?

Beezknees · 26/05/2023 23:02

I can't help, but following because honestly I could have written an identical post. I'm not hugely overweight, only by about a stone but it all goes on my belly as I'm an apple shape so it looks gross.

misssunshine4040 · 26/05/2023 23:03

Following for the exact same issue. I definitely think it's been viewing food as a treat that done me in as I never used to think this way and was a healthy size.
Last 3 years have been exceptionally hard for me and I have used food as a comfort and I've piled on so much now that I feel the same way you do

Doooop · 26/05/2023 23:03

I could have written your post OP. Except I'm a few years older. I'm following with interest. I just cannot help myself with food or drink.

Divorcedalongtime · 26/05/2023 23:08

I’m gonna say therapy to find and change the reasons you use food in this way…

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/05/2023 23:13

Have you tried redefining what a treat is and setting yourself small goals?

I find the big goal I need to get to with weightloss too mind boggling huge to properly contemplate. So instead I have loads of tiny goals, and I set myself rewards, like when I lose 7lbs I'll buy myself those earrings I like on Etsy, when I lose 14lb I'll take myself to a cafe for an hour of quiet reading and an iced latte.

I am also very motivated by tracking my achievements so I have a beautiful spreadsheet, with conditional formatting, and formulas, and graphs and looking at it going in the right direction makes me happy.

timetoloseit · 26/05/2023 23:17

OP I could have written this word for word.

And @FatAgainItsLettuceTime wow - I have spreadsheet envy!

Toucan123 · 26/05/2023 23:22

Not sure if this is helpful but I'm going to tell you how I lost a lot of weight in my early 40s (I'm 5'8" and was 13 stone at my heaviest, now I'm 9.5 stone aged 48).

My teeth needed straightening so I got Invisalign. You can't eat with Invisalign in, you have to take them out to eat then clean your teeth and your aligners every single time . So I couldn't be bothered to eat between meals as it was too much hassle. That made me drop a lot of weight.

I did a couch to 5K course about five years ago - just on my own, using an app, and at the end of it I did a parkrun (there are over 1000 of them around the UK - an organised 5K run at 9am every Saturday and they're free and very friendly), then I quickly got addicted to parkruns and started going every week. I kept going for runs during the week too so that I could get better and keep beating my parkrun times. Then I joined a running club and made loads of friends and started running several times a week. Since then I've done two marathons and about 12 half marathons and I've managed to keep the weight off. Plus I have a wide circle of lovely supportive genuine running friends now.

So that's what did it for me - Invisalign and running!

TeenLifeMum · 26/05/2023 23:22

I’m really good at dieting until about 4pm every bloody day!

dkedm15 · 26/05/2023 23:24

I'm like that page in 'the very hungry caterpillar' where he eats everything

Crikeyalmightey · 26/05/2023 23:26

I'm 20 years older than you, but can tell you my main motivation for keeping my weight down is joint pain and mobility. After about 45 I could feel my knees aching from time to time. Just wear and tear. As you get older, if your weight goes up, that is made much worse. Forget the aesthetics, think about the longer term effects on your joints and how it affects your getting about.

Sierra26 · 26/05/2023 23:26

I very much see food as a treat/ relaxation/ reward and it’s difficult to handle.

My tips are -

Can you revisit how much exercise you’re willing to do, including weight training? The physical and mental boost it would give you might make it easier to carry on the good work. I certainly find this, if feels good to feel healthy and fit so it’s a cycle. I want to nourish my body with good food.

It also sounds like you’re being very ‘all or nothing’ with your diet. Can you have a few less treats at the weekend (but still have some), and allow yourself some small treats during the week? Mentally this is harder but will be more effective in long run. If you’re so hungry you binge on snacks you might need to have smaller more frequent meals, and look at your balance of fats/carbs/proteins as getting the combos right per meal will help your energy levels (I need all of this or else I go snack crazy!!).

Grumpyat40 · 26/05/2023 23:26

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/05/2023 23:13

Have you tried redefining what a treat is and setting yourself small goals?

I find the big goal I need to get to with weightloss too mind boggling huge to properly contemplate. So instead I have loads of tiny goals, and I set myself rewards, like when I lose 7lbs I'll buy myself those earrings I like on Etsy, when I lose 14lb I'll take myself to a cafe for an hour of quiet reading and an iced latte.

I am also very motivated by tracking my achievements so I have a beautiful spreadsheet, with conditional formatting, and formulas, and graphs and looking at it going in the right direction makes me happy.

I've never been so happy as I am looking at your spreadsheet...

RebeccaCloud9 · 26/05/2023 23:27

I've just had a health issue which meant I've had to follow a close to fat free diet - or risk immediate severe pain and possible serious side effects. Having to stick rigidly to a diet has worked absolute wonders and I'm several stone lighter than I was a few months ago. Over the course of this time, I've had a real wake up call and confronted my bad diet choices - I feel so much better, I've dropped 3 dress sizes and my BP has reduced. I'm not suggesting being so strict is the way to go, but for me, finally addressing the direct link between my size/diet and my health has been the game changer.

I would always have excuses for myself as to why I couldn't start or why this treat or that indulgence was worth it or unavoidable. But that meant that I just never actually got anywhere.

wildfirewonder · 26/05/2023 23:28

You may as well stop 'dieting' and start trying to just eat properly consistently. When you say get the compulsive need to snack and can demolish about 300-400 calories in a minute or two just on crisps, crackers and biscuits - where are these foods? I would remove all of these from the house.

See what a couple of weeks without junk food does for you?

penniesmakeshillingsandshillingsmakepounds · 26/05/2023 23:31

I love the spreadsheet!

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/05/2023 23:33

If anyone wants it, I have a blank template for the spreadsheet in google drive here docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mjaVTijjOxYjXruqLq14A113BVyhDBph/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=115203243050422472278&rtpof=true&sd=true

IHateLegDay · 26/05/2023 23:34

Following as I'm in the same position xx

Meggymoo777 · 26/05/2023 23:35

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/05/2023 23:13

Have you tried redefining what a treat is and setting yourself small goals?

I find the big goal I need to get to with weightloss too mind boggling huge to properly contemplate. So instead I have loads of tiny goals, and I set myself rewards, like when I lose 7lbs I'll buy myself those earrings I like on Etsy, when I lose 14lb I'll take myself to a cafe for an hour of quiet reading and an iced latte.

I am also very motivated by tracking my achievements so I have a beautiful spreadsheet, with conditional formatting, and formulas, and graphs and looking at it going in the right direction makes me happy.

God I love a spreadsheet, that's a thing of beauty right there! x

Meggymoo777 · 26/05/2023 23:36

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/05/2023 23:33

If anyone wants it, I have a blank template for the spreadsheet in google drive here docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mjaVTijjOxYjXruqLq14A113BVyhDBph/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=115203243050422472278&rtpof=true&sd=true

OMG you shared your template... you legend! Thank you x

GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 26/05/2023 23:37

Restriction is one of the biggest causes of overeating and bingeing. The very fact you’re trying to limit yourself is likely the problem.

PickNewName · 26/05/2023 23:38

I see it as a well earned treat that I look forward to all week.

Could you change how you ‘treat’ yourself?
Eating and drinking, and making you hate yourself, is a pretty poor reward for working hard all week.

ScatsThat · 26/05/2023 23:40

I'm in the same boat. Have put on 4 stone in the last 6 years, possibly due to 2 children and 1 global pandemic, but at 42 I'm starting to wonder if peri-menopause might also be a factor.

Treasureboxkey · 26/05/2023 23:47

I am absolutely the same.

Very much all or nothing and really struggling to find the all at the moment.

Confusedmeanderings · 27/05/2023 00:01

Two things have helped me:

1 Health issues have meant that I have had to take medication that interferes with my digestion and weight has fallen off. This one is a bit drastic to emulate!

2 I started asking myself every time I went to eat something whether I was honestly hungry. If I wasn't, I didn't eat it. It was eye opening to realise just how often I was eating when I didn't even want it. If I was hungry, then I went ahead and ate whatever it was. I also cut down portion sizes at meal times. If I was still hungry, then I'd have seconds, but most times I'd find that actually I wasn't still hungry. Knowing that I could have seconds if I wanted meant I haven't felt deprived.

Progress has been very slow, but I feel like I haven't had to make much of an effort at all. I've lost just under two stone since last August. The next thing to tackle is exercise. I don't do any at the moment, but I though I might start couch to 5k using an app. I plan to take it a bit slower because my health issues mean I get tired very easily, but I hope I'll get there.

Mmhmmn · 27/05/2023 00:16

conniefused · 26/05/2023 23:00

I need to lose weight. I feel and look awful. I know what I need to do to drop some weight. But I just don't. Every week is the same. I have a bingey weekend and promise myself from Monday I'll start eating in a calorie deficit. This maybe lasts until Wednesday and then I'm back snacking. It's the snacks that kill me. My actual meals aren't too bad but I get the compulsive need to snack and can demolish about 300-400 calories in a minute or two just on crisps, crackers and biscuits.

At the weekends I just write it off completely because booze, bacon butties and takeaways are a standard part of our weekend routine. We rarely go out and so I guess I see it as a well earned treat that I look forward to all week.

But I'm starting to hate myself. I hate the way I look and I hate my lack of motivation and willpower to change.

I walk for miles but I do little exercise and ultimately it's my diet that needs to change. I'm pushing 40 and it's becoming so hard for me to drop weight like I used to when I was younger. I just don't know where to find the determination to succeed. I see food and alcohol as a treat, a joy. I don't want to give them up totally but I can't carry on like this and expect change.

If anyone has any tips on how to totally transform my mindset and lifestyle please let me know!!!

Chances are it's the booze more than the snacks. (Having said that I bet you're actually great as you are).