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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why can't I do this?

28 replies

conniefused · 26/05/2023 23:00

I need to lose weight. I feel and look awful. I know what I need to do to drop some weight. But I just don't. Every week is the same. I have a bingey weekend and promise myself from Monday I'll start eating in a calorie deficit. This maybe lasts until Wednesday and then I'm back snacking. It's the snacks that kill me. My actual meals aren't too bad but I get the compulsive need to snack and can demolish about 300-400 calories in a minute or two just on crisps, crackers and biscuits.

At the weekends I just write it off completely because booze, bacon butties and takeaways are a standard part of our weekend routine. We rarely go out and so I guess I see it as a well earned treat that I look forward to all week.

But I'm starting to hate myself. I hate the way I look and I hate my lack of motivation and willpower to change.

I walk for miles but I do little exercise and ultimately it's my diet that needs to change. I'm pushing 40 and it's becoming so hard for me to drop weight like I used to when I was younger. I just don't know where to find the determination to succeed. I see food and alcohol as a treat, a joy. I don't want to give them up totally but I can't carry on like this and expect change.

If anyone has any tips on how to totally transform my mindset and lifestyle please let me know!!!

OP posts:
ZuliKyanLarsFoz · 27/05/2023 00:23

I would read Ultraprocessed People by Chris Van Tulleken. It's put me off eating a lot of foods that you mention.

Sunnydayz · 27/05/2023 00:35

Can you find more nutritious “treat foods”? And allow yourself one or two a day?

I love sliced apple and nut butter - I slather on 100% peanut or almond nut butter, its probably as calorific but it’s more nutritious and filling than crisps/crackers/cake.

Other favourites:
Banana with peanut butter or chocolate spread or cream
Strawberries or raspberries and cream
Pancakes with blueberries and marscapone/cream/Greek yogurt.
Fruit and Nut mix
Pear or Kiwi and Greek yogurt
Carrot sticks and humous

If I eat anything I try to make sure there’s a fruit or vegetable incorporated. I make sure to get my 5 a day in.
I’ve read that eating too much fruit it bad for you, but surely eating the biscuits/cakes is worse??

Sorry but if I would give up the take always completely, and massively reduce if not stop alcohol. (You’ll save loads of money.)
Not sure how to address this with your family/lifestyle.

I eat when I’m bored. Take up a new hobby? One that keeps your hands busy…. Knitting, gaming. Even better if you can find one that keeps your body busy… cycling, swimming, yoga, squat challenge. I found when I had something I really wanted to do on the Sunday morning, it was easier not to drink on the Saturday night.

Sometimes I do some push ups or leg raises or squats in the evening if I’m bored and that takes your mind off food and makes you focus on your body and how it feels. On the bedroom or living room floor, it would take 5-10 minutes. I’d chat to my partner while doing it if he was around.
I was working specific parts for specific reasons: leg raises to strengthen core after baby, squats for flat mum butt. I focused on one or two problem areas and increased the number I did every time, to a target. Follow a work out or stretch on YouTube if your not sure what to do.

I eat when I feel sad or tired. I indulge in other guilty pleasures…. Gaming, mumsnet, scrolling online shopping (looking, not buying…. Maybe the occasional purchase.)

Make sure you’re drinking enough water.
Make sure you’re getting enough protein.
I try to limit sugar intake more than fat but I might take breaks from having butter/cheese/mayo for a while (I love these, and put loads on my meals so an easy way to cut calories.)

Sometimes I would just let myself be hungry. I may feel peckish at 9/10pm, I’d just ignore it, drink water and go to bed and it would be fine. If I was too hungry to sleep then I’d get up and eat something.

Many years ago I would have a “no carbs after 6pm” rule. Don’t do it now but maybe one or two dinners a week may be no carb or low carb with fruit for dessert.

Find something or a combination of things that work, and stick to it. Avoid extreme or anything too restrictive as it’s more difficult to stick to. Make a small change now. Make another small change. Make another small change.

Perhaps, no sweet treats or crisps this weekend but you have the wine.

If you’ve done well that week, have the take away Friday night, but continue eating “well” and do some exercise at the weekend.

Whatever you do it needs to be sustainable.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/05/2023 00:50

It is so tough going and unfortunayely menopause has brought along the unwanted guest of the Saggy Middle .

In my favour , I have been vegetarian for over 43 years and I don't drink alcohol by choice , so I;m not bingeing or missing these things .

Every time I tried to give up chocolate though I was doomed until I was away last year and I didn't eat any for 2 weeks . It broke the spell and now (a year on) I have eaten chocolate less than five times (Christmas Eve /Christmas Day/Mothers Day/Easter Sunday . And yesterday I ate one of my son's Caramel Eggs because I thought damn it , it;s Bank Holiday Weekend but I know I won;t bother with it for a while , and it feels great ! I don't think "Oh well I;ve eaten chocolate , what's the point" . It's always in the house ( 2 adult DC) but I am meh .

I do need to lose weight , I worry about my joints (especially my back) and family history of diabetes . But it's round my belly which is a bugger to shift .

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