DD 3 doesn't want to eat anything other than what she wants

[applesandbananaa]

She has huge tantrums otherwise. I find it really hard to deal with and I don't know what to do.

She won't touch any vegetables. It's touch and go if she'll touch even her favourite foods. Sometimes she just says ' yuck I don't like it'. I try to be cool about it at the time.

I try and ignore it as much as I can 'ok maybe you're not hungry now, we can try again later '..

Then later she'll just have toast or biscuits. It's very hard work and takes a lot of patience to even get her to eat anything.

Can anyone relate ?

DD2 was like that.
I taught her the sign for chocolate at about 16 months and I think she consistently asked for chocolate at every meal for the next two years.
She ate very little. the only thing she ate consistently well was tinned sweetcorn, so that was what she was given if she hadn't eaten anything for a couple of days.
She's 19yo and eats reasonably well now.

What I did was:
Ignore all strops about what she wanted.
Put a plate of small portion in front of her.
Have lots of options on the plate. (so a plate might have, 3x ham sandwiches (about 2cm square), one piece of cucumber, one piece of carrot, half a tomato cut up, a piece of cheese.
If she eats all of one bit of food, offer more of that.
Don't make any comments on what hasn't been eaten.
If she refuses, let her get down, but put the plate somewhere where she can reach and let her come back to it.
Don't refuse a treat because she hasn't eaten her meal (but make sure it's not too close so she won't be hungry)

I thought it was a bad idea to call some foods 'treats'. Children naturally want things they can't have so it's best to treat all foods the same.

Sounds similar to my 3 yr old. It's hard work! When she complains, I just tell her ok eat what u want, leave what u don't 🤷🏻‍♀️

She has asked for macaroni cheese just about everyday this week. On the day we did have that, she hardly touched it 🙈

Sometimes she will eat something other times she won't. She will often come and eat things from my plate despite it being the same as what's in hers. She keeps asking for us to feed her. I refuse, tell her she's a big girl so can do it herself, don't be so silly. She is getting better with eating (it was way worse about a year ago) but very slowly and we seem to go up and down with it.

She always enjoys breakfast. Sometimes has 2 breakfasts! Then very little for lunch more snack like things.

Dinner she might eat none, little or a decent amount. More often than not it's little.

She does complain sometimes that's she's hungry later on. More often at bedtime. I sometimes give her something else, porridge or some yoghurt and fruit. I try not to though.

Today she was trying to negotiate her treat for after dinner despite hardly touching her dinner. She's like just a half (little mini brownie). I said no u haven't ate ur dinner. She whines and this went in for ages. Sometimes she wld go bk and eat a bite then ask for a treat again. Told her if she ate half her dinner I'd give her half a treat 😂 in the end she got nothing.

My daughter was / is like this as well. Always extremely limited number of foods she would eat, and even those she would often refuse.

We ended up with a selection of easy to prepare and reasonably healthy foods that we always keep around and offer and she basically lived off of them for years. Fishfingers and peas or green beans, beans on toast, porridge with banana, oats yoghurt and maple syrup... Occasionally carrot or cucumber sticks or apple slices, sometimes toast and scrambled egg. Oh and huge amounts of cold milk.

It's been frustrating, especially when we were on holiday and not able to cook, we could never get her to eat anything healthy at all.

I have no advice to offer, other than to say that this summer, age 9.5, she has suddenly started eating a bunch of different things that she always claimed were yucky. Cocktail tomatoes for crying out loud! Still not super varied but SO much more than before.

So in our case the only thing that helped was waiting for her to get older.

Her meals are put in front of her, you chat, you eat, beyond one gentle prompt you ignore her picking at her food and any moaning. Try really hard to sit down and eat with her and eat the same things. That way it’s a social thing and you are modelling and participating, not demanding and monitoring. After a fair time ask if she’s finished and clear away without any fuss or comment. Try to keep mealtimes chatty and positive and hide any anxiety you feel about her intake. If she says she’s hungry later offer carrots and hummus, full fat yoghurt, a banana, cheese or equivalent. Fruit is okay but I’d try to reduce her carb snacking habit ideally. If she doesn’t want it, no fuss, dinner/ lunch/breakfast will be along soon. Rinse and repeat. Out and about the odd ice cream or cake in a coffee shop as normal.

For a while it would be best not to have biscuits in the house as it’s not “fair” for her to see you having them. I love a biscuit but they have no nutritional value so I’d take them out of the picture to make it easier.