Partners ex threatening to call police on me

[BananaCocktails]

About a year and a half ago, my partners ex contacted me on Instagram and sent me a tirade of abuse
they weren’t together at the time, and we met long after they split ( 6 months or so)
they had split 2 years prior but she remained living in his HA rented flat whilst he moved somewhere else as they have a child together. She met someone else to and that was the reason for the split.
in these messages she
called me all the names under the Sun, including prostitute ect
it was late, and I was tired, and I responded back to the same way
in hindsight, I should’ve just ignored her I was having a bad day anyway and infuriated. I just called her a few choice words and that was it.
I haven’t messaged her sense, and I haven’t received any more messages from her
it was on just one night

eight months ago, she applied for an occupation order as she was still living in his flat and he had asked her to leave as he wants his flat back , and they can share custody ect
in the last two months, she moved out and has told my boyfriend she has her partner stay over . Court hearing for the occupation order was today and despite her already having moved out she turned up. She told the judge that I have been harassing her and that I have contacted her and message her just based on the messages from year and a half ago
and that she is going to call the police on me I don’t understand how she can do this through just a series of messages that we exchange on one night 1 1/2 years ago. I could also report her for the abuse also, but I haven’t as it’s petty and it’s long ago
can the police still speak to me about this ? She told judge she is going to get a non-molestation order against me. However, the judge in the court today told her she cannot because that is only for people who are family together and to stop going on about me as the court hearing today was about the occupation order only
she said she will get an injunction against me for harassment. However, I don’t know how this is possible when I haven’t spoken to her for over a year and a half what are my chances if police come to see me?
She Has also banned my partner from bringing his child near me and told the court that I was doing witchcraft which is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t believe in anything like that.
am I being unreasonable to tell my partner that she no longer controls him, and unless he starts letting me see his child I am going to call it a day because this situation has started to really fucking irritate me

If he has PR and the child isn't at risk, she doesn't really get a say in who sees her child when they are in the care of their father. I suspect she knows this, which is why she is claiming that you are a risk.
Witchcraft accusations aside, I have been in your position with someone who had recently separated from the mother of his children before we had met, and suffered so much harassment. Though their youngest child was already a teenager when we met, his ex wouldn't 'let' me meet their daughters for a couple of years and when she finally agreed to it, they were awful because she had poisoned them against me. I wasted 7 years of my life having to deal with second hand bullshit from that woman. If it all went tits up with my current partner tomorrow, I would still never date any man with dependent aged children

The police are unlikely to act on an old string of messages with no recent activity.

your boyfriend should be prioritizing his custody issues at the moment, even if that means keeping you separate from his child. He needs to get a formal arrangement in place instead of relying on the good will of a clearly difficult mother of his child. Until he has that, adding his girlfriend to the mix would be a mistake.

That's fair. I think it's the initial post that looks like demanding. Tbh I can understand him keeping you separate from his child for peace, but you can't always stay away, for example, if you lived together. It's never going to work if that's what he expects to do. It seems a lot of hassle, is it worth it?

YANBU to consider leaving a relationship with someone who is controlled by and have a lot of drama with his ex.

Does he have an order for contact with his child? I can’t see how she can refuse to allow your partner to let his child be near you. Surely what he does is up to him, unless it states so in an order?

I wouldn’t worry about the harassment stuff. If the only messages were mutually abusive and from 1 1/2 hrs ago I doubt they’d do anything.

The harassment stuff is just a bluff. Police will dismiss a one off evening of texting between you and the ex over a year ago.
I would keep well out of it and let your dp deal with his ex and the drama that goes with her.

bit shitty for a man with a child to have moved on within a year
Why? She left him for another man, is he supposed to spend a year in mourning or something?

The irony of you telling people they're hard of reading when you're writing utter fucking codswallop that is barely legible.

Anyway,

she is effectively control in our relationship because he allows her to
This is the issue you have. Not his ex or the police. Your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is pathetic and needs to grow a backbone and tell the ex, he has parental responsibility and will do as he sees fit when the child is in his care. You will be living together soon and will be part of her life. If she throws the toys out of the pram, he takes her to court.

The police are not going to do anything if there is no proof you have been harassing her.

However, is this a life you want for you and your own child? A toxic mess of families, a man who can't advocate for him or his child? It isn't what I would want.

am I being unreasonable to tell my partner that she no longer controls him, and unless he starts letting me see his child I am going to call it a day

Yes you are. There's a child involved in this mess; put them first and walk away.

Reading this was a big waste of time. What a tiresome post.

😂

Are you aware that this useless idiot isn't the only man in the world? Because I can't imagine any other reason you'd choose to allow this nonsense into your life.

Op. Are you ok?

you were attacking people before you corrected yourself and you’re still on the attack,

yes you have now corrected but no one knows you. How can they know you wrote something totally different to what you meant.

there is a massive difference between I would never demand but would love to go the park together and I’m going to dump his ass if he doesn’t let me see his child.

that’s what folks are reacting to. You attacking and saying you never said you’d demand before realising you did say that and correcting yourself

i ask if you are ok, as twenty mins after writing if you were on the attack denying it,

You all sound like horrible chavs. Your poor kids.

I can't imagine the police will be interested in this in a million years.

If I were you, I'd block her number and never have any contact with her. Anything you say will likely be used against you.

Incidentally, how do you know all of this happened? Did your DP tell you, or were you in court?