Partners ex threatening to call police on me

[BananaCocktails]

About a year and a half ago, my partners ex contacted me on Instagram and sent me a tirade of abuse
they weren’t together at the time, and we met long after they split ( 6 months or so)
they had split 2 years prior but she remained living in his HA rented flat whilst he moved somewhere else as they have a child together. She met someone else to and that was the reason for the split.
in these messages she
called me all the names under the Sun, including prostitute ect
it was late, and I was tired, and I responded back to the same way
in hindsight, I should’ve just ignored her I was having a bad day anyway and infuriated. I just called her a few choice words and that was it.
I haven’t messaged her sense, and I haven’t received any more messages from her
it was on just one night

eight months ago, she applied for an occupation order as she was still living in his flat and he had asked her to leave as he wants his flat back , and they can share custody ect
in the last two months, she moved out and has told my boyfriend she has her partner stay over . Court hearing for the occupation order was today and despite her already having moved out she turned up. She told the judge that I have been harassing her and that I have contacted her and message her just based on the messages from year and a half ago
and that she is going to call the police on me I don’t understand how she can do this through just a series of messages that we exchange on one night 1 1/2 years ago. I could also report her for the abuse also, but I haven’t as it’s petty and it’s long ago
can the police still speak to me about this ? She told judge she is going to get a non-molestation order against me. However, the judge in the court today told her she cannot because that is only for people who are family together and to stop going on about me as the court hearing today was about the occupation order only
she said she will get an injunction against me for harassment. However, I don’t know how this is possible when I haven’t spoken to her for over a year and a half what are my chances if police come to see me?
She Has also banned my partner from bringing his child near me and told the court that I was doing witchcraft which is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t believe in anything like that.
am I being unreasonable to tell my partner that she no longer controls him, and unless he starts letting me see his child I am going to call it a day because this situation has started to really fucking irritate me

Literally!

Doubt the police will do fuck all about something that happened 1.5 years ago. A string of messages sent via social media that long ago doesn’t sound worth anyone’s time

@Littlebluebellwoods it is definitely you who is being unpleasant

i have reiterated this several times now I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this, but I will write it again in case those hard of reading cannot understand

I don’t have a particular need to see my partner’s child , I have not demanded, not asked to see my partner’s child
however, I have been with my partner for two years now. It is half term next week and I would like us all to go to the park to have a nice day but I am not allowed around his child according to his ex
now which part of that is me demanding to see his child ? nothing wrong with me, wanting for all of us to do something together -ridiculous situation when we both have our children on our days and I’m doing something alone with my child and he is doing something along with his child which is absolutely fine most of the time, but I would like for us to meet up sometimes how hot is that to understand.

also said about six times now I wanted advice on her, trying to contact the police about supposed harassment it was her who message me a tirade of abuse a year and a half ago

Unless your messages to the ex contained threats or discriminatory language, then if they were genuinely a one-off 18 months ago the police won't be interested, nor will the courts.

Considering she initiated the messages I cannot see the police doing anything however that is dependent on any threats etc made.

With regards to his child, he can allow who he sees fit around the child if there are no safeguarding issues.

Don’t end your relationship based on her demands and not being able to see his child. That will just spur her on to be the same with anyone in his life knowing she can and will push them out.

@ItsBritneyBitchhhh I obviously didn’t articulate myself properly however, in several posts after my initial post, I have corrected myself which part of that is that hard to understand.????
grammatical mistakes happen , that is not the way in which I intended it to sound. However again I’m going to say for upper th time I corrected myself

Hex her OP

‘unless he starts letting me see his child I am going to call it a day’

your exact words. Now can you see that people aren’t being nasty, it is exactly what you said?

Upteenth!

also said about six times now I wanted advice on her, trying to contact the police about supposed harassment it was her who message me a tirade of abuse a year and a half ago

And you've had several responses to that question. I suggest you go back and read the whole thread carefully, including the messages explaining why people reasonably thought you were demanding to see your partner's child.

It is unlikely that she'll be able to dictate that her child can not be around you. Does parents try to control their ex this way. I have known a person who's foster grandad (the foster parent of their parent) was mentioned on a banned list by the ex. The courts threw it out as there were no concerns. She's trying to control her ex and I would agree with others and day just ignore the court situation and ask partner not to mention it to you. They will have to speak to others about this

@Rachie1973 another one who has not read my posts
I’ve just explained that the way I initially worded my post was not how I intended it to sound
I have corrected myself go back and read my corrected posts. -I have been informed three times now about my initial post.
will repeat it again, I do not want to demand and I have never asked to see my partner’s child, his child is not my concern
I would like us to be able to go out together at times, that’s all I’m asking for.

You DIRECTLY asked if it was unreasonable to threat to leave if he didn't let you see the child

Now you are being rude to people answering your question and calling you out for being demanding, whilst trying to completely change what you said.

You sound very unpleasant tbh OP and if you are like this IRL then your partner would be better off without you.

No, if it really was one (or a string of, you changed your mind) message 1.5 years ago then the police won't do anything.

Yeah, you are unreasonable to make demands to your partner about his child.

You seem confused. Maybe you should read your posts again from the start?

I’ve read everything you’ve said. You’d like to see your son’s child on occasion and suggest a play date etc. You’d like to eventually move in together. What are you meant to do, hide in the basement whilst his child comes around. I’ve read your posts.

You can’t really give someone an ultimatum in regards to being around their child just because their ex partner is causing drama….

am I being unreasonable to tell my partner that she no longer controls him, and unless he starts letting me see his child I am going to call it a day because this situation has started to really fucking irritate me

i have reiterated this several times now I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this, but I will write it again in case those hard of reading cannot understand

😂😂😂 you sound lovely

I agree with this. You either end it or face years of this shit.

@Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious I have put several posts correcting my initial statement and still users were quoting the initial statement
its very frustrating
I can understand where the initial problem was in my wording , but I did correct it

"Demanding contact with his child" seems extreme, but fundamentally neither you nor the PPs are wrong OP.

If he's an involved dad and he won't let you anywhere near his child for fear of his ex's reaction then this relationship is never going to be serious. Personally I'd bail unless you're happy for it to be a casual ongoing relationship (and I wouldn't risk the drama for a casual relationship).

I wouldn't worry about the police. The judge seems already to have seen through her. Unpleasant as it is to have the police visit when OP's ex is making such allegations, you just have to keep calm if they do.

Ex does not want you to see the dc for play dates or whatever. If dp is a half way decent father he will put his dc first.
The police won't care about some silly text exchange either unless it was racist or threatening in some shape or form. But I would think they have better things to do tbh.

The ex will never stop being a problem. He will never be fully rid of her and he will always have to prioritise his child and, to an extent, a relationship with her. You are so far down the pecking order, there is no future here. Walk away, this is just not a good situation and you don't need to be part of this craziness. You cannot fix it. You cannot change her. You cannot change him.

she cant stop him beinging 8is child potentially to his home-if she doesn he can get court ordered access and will have to let him have hr by law-
as for the police she just sounded desprate to make a point in court i wouldnt worry too much

I can guarantee that this man isn't worth all this shit. She will never stop. I wouldn't want my child involved in this mess at all. If you insist on moving in with him, I wouldn't, then any contact he has needs to be outside the home. It will be yours and your child's home, you don't leave because his ex won't let you be around the child. That's your partners problem and if he doesn't like it then he needs to put on his big boy pants and stick up for himself. But again, I wouldn't want my child to grow up around such toxicity, she will only cause you problems.

Well what does he say? Have you already met and been seeing his child?

Does he want you to meet and see his child?

Does he think he has to do what his ex says so he won't let you see his child even though you want to?

Was he agreeable with is ex because he was trying to avoid conflict until the occupation case was settled?

You seem overly caught up in drama about his ex. His ex is for him to deal with.

"we met long after they split ( 6 months or so)"

she probably thinks you were a concealed OW - bit shitty for a man with a child to have moved on within a year

I'd call it a day. you don't need this stress