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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay?

33 replies

Helendee · 23/05/2023 21:49

We are going away for a break next week with with our daughter, her partner and our granddaughters.
At the time of booking they didn’t have any pets but have since acquired a puppy which they’ve asked to bring along. I’m not really a dog lover but we didn’t want the little chap to be put in kennels so agreed to it.
We have to give a £250 deposit to cover damages which is fair enough but I feel it’s only likely to be the dog that will damage anything and so I asked if they would give their credit card details for the deposit.
My daughter’s partner is incredibly tight with money and I know I will be very lucky if he were to reimburse me for damages caused. He is not happy about putting his card through though.
AIBU?

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 23/05/2023 21:50

His dog, his card.

Squidger45 · 23/05/2023 21:52

No of course you're not, and I speak as a dog, cat and pony owner.

If they can't take responsibility for their pet, they shouldn't have it.

Perhaps make clear to him that if anyone for whom he isn't responsible were to cause damage, of course, he would be reimbursed and not expected to pick up the tab.

Stand your ground on this; it pisses me off when people are irresponsible pet owners. Gives the rest of us a bad name.

ChopperC110P · 23/05/2023 21:54

I agree it will be either the puppy or the granddaughters causing damage.
He can be unhappy.

GladysHeeler · 23/05/2023 21:55

ChopperC110P · 23/05/2023 21:54

I agree it will be either the puppy or the granddaughters causing damage.
He can be unhappy.

Yes. The people with a puppy and children should pay the deposit l

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 21:55

Thanks everyone. My granddaughters ten and unlikely to cause any damage.
We have been away lots of times with no problems.

OP posts:
Riverlee · 23/05/2023 21:57

Is the £250 specifically for pet damage or general cottage damage? If general, should be split 50:50 between each couple.

Just a thought, is the puppy a good puppy? Where is s/he going to sleep. How old is the puppy?

Any damage caused by puppy they should pay for.

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 21:59

@Riverlee

Yes it’s general insurance so I guess I should offer half but it’s just a holding fee not an actual charge so I’m not sure how I would do that.
I have already said I will reimburse any damage that was caused by DH or myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 22:00

Puppy is five months and rather excitable!
They are taking his cage.

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 23/05/2023 22:05

Who organiser the trip? Did you invite? Has everyone paid a fair share?

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 22:18

Bunce1

We arranged it between us and paid half each.

OP posts:
marshmallowmatcha · 23/05/2023 22:21

There's more of them than you so they should pay it. If they won't then sorry no holiday bye

Crumpleton · 23/05/2023 22:29

Is the puppy crate trained?
I'd be more concerned about night times when no one's up and around to keep an eye on the puppy.

But no, YANBU.

beepbops · 23/05/2023 22:30

They absolutely should. Zero question. Cmon. Dogs are their owners responsibility, without the dog that fee wouldn’t have to be paid

Bunce1 · 23/05/2023 22:39

I think you should pay and if the puppy causes the damage then they cough up.

Bunce1 · 23/05/2023 22:40

The deposit is for everyone and any damage not juts because of the puppy though?

steff13 · 23/05/2023 22:40

It's a deposit, so the get the money back if there's no damage, correct? I'd make them cover it. If he wants his $250 back then he can make sure his puppy doesn't do any damage. Obviously if you or your husband inadvertently do some damage then you would want to reimburse him for whatever issues that you caused. But I agree it seems most likely that the puppy would be the one doing any damage.

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 22:42

Problem is I very much doubt he will pay me back and I really don’t want to pay for their dog’s damage, should it occur.
I wish I hadn’t said yes to the dog coming now.

OP posts:
ToBMarried24 · 23/05/2023 22:42

The £250 damages charge isn’t added because there is now a dog. You always had to pay it so it should be 50/50.

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 22:46

@ToBMarried24

Yes I agree but they don’t actually take money from your card and then give it back if nothing is damaged, they put a hold on it so I’m not sure that we could split it.

OP posts:
VioletMountainHare · 23/05/2023 22:48

Helendee · 23/05/2023 22:42

Problem is I very much doubt he will pay me back and I really don’t want to pay for their dog’s damage, should it occur.
I wish I hadn’t said yes to the dog coming now.

The solution is either the deposit goes on their credit card. Or if they refuse, the dog can no longer come and they can fork out for a kennel. The fact he’s digging his heels in tells you you’re right, if there is damage caused by the dog he won’t cough up if the deposit is on your card.

JudgeRudy · 23/05/2023 22:58

Helendee · 23/05/2023 21:49

We are going away for a break next week with with our daughter, her partner and our granddaughters.
At the time of booking they didn’t have any pets but have since acquired a puppy which they’ve asked to bring along. I’m not really a dog lover but we didn’t want the little chap to be put in kennels so agreed to it.
We have to give a £250 deposit to cover damages which is fair enough but I feel it’s only likely to be the dog that will damage anything and so I asked if they would give their credit card details for the deposit.
My daughter’s partner is incredibly tight with money and I know I will be very lucky if he were to reimburse me for damages caused. He is not happy about putting his card through though.
AIBU?

I think it would be usual for whoever booked the holiday to use their details however l understand why you're doing it this way. You say he's reluctant but presumably hasn't refused. Why can't your daughter use her fard then? Presumably they both own the dog.....or stick it in kennels.

Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 23:00

@VioletMountainHare

You are spot on there, he literally hates spending a penny. We have to work a few more years before we can retire as we practically paid for our granddaughters’ upbringing as our daughter was a stay at home mum and he paid for the roof over their heads but but nothing in the way of clothing, books, toys, presents, days out and anything other than the most basic of food.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helendee · 23/05/2023 23:01

@JudgeRudy

My daughter doesn’t have a credit card, she works but has very little money spare.

OP posts:
PaigeMatthews · 23/05/2023 23:02

Helendee · 23/05/2023 23:00

@VioletMountainHare

You are spot on there, he literally hates spending a penny. We have to work a few more years before we can retire as we practically paid for our granddaughters’ upbringing as our daughter was a stay at home mum and he paid for the roof over their heads but but nothing in the way of clothing, books, toys, presents, days out and anything other than the most basic of food.

The bigger issue sis surely getting your daughter and granddaughter away from a financially abusive man.

why isnt your daughter working? Why does she find it acceptable for you to pay for everything?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/05/2023 23:03

Wow, just read your update and he sounds horrible and financially abusive. I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with him at all! And why on Earth are they taking on the expense of a dog if they can’t be bothered to pay for their own dc?

Back to your question, yes it either goes on their card or dog doesn’t come. But doesn’t your Dd have a card for their joint account/ joint credit card?