To love the idea of changing my voice?

[NiceSausage]

I don't mean accent or dialect, I've never really had a pronounced accent, and don't speak in a particularly regional way.
I think I mean the 'sound' of my voice, the tone perhaps, it's difficult to explain!

I have a very quick manner of speaking, as the words tumble over themselves, which I would love to slow down and refine a bit. Sometimes my voice sounds muffled, but it is more the manner I am concerned with, I have always loved considered, soft tones.
People often say changing our voice is tantamount to 'becoming someone else' but I don't see it that way. It isn't about social status or impressing other people. It's such a personal thing, and we certainly don't feel bad/ashamed about changing our hair colour, clothing style or teeth, so why the sound of our voice?

Perhaps it is a tricky conversation due to cultural presumptions - how regional accents were less respected and still are in some circles and professions, but this isn't what I am concerned with. For me, it is about expressing another, more relaxed part of my personality - maybe because I have changed a lot in recent years and left an unhealthy relationship, and have come to realise that most things about us are the result of our experiences, and are not necessarily positive! For me, my voice is a part of that, and I feel this strong urge to alter it.

This is a genuine thing and not about shame or snobbishness. I hope that makes sense!

Do it! Why not? Voice is a fundamental part of how we connect with others - every bit as powerful as how we dress, so why not make your voice closer to what you want it to be? I think that is a really lovely makeover project.

I don't think it's a big deal. Pretty sure there are people who can teach you to slow down and improve your pronunciation.

In the meantime it feels weird, like how to not surprise the people you know

It is something a lot of people confuse with integrity (as if the voice is a kind of truth and if we alter it we are less genuine?) or pretentiousness. It's a shame really as it would be fun to play around with it.

When I was little I always wanted to talk with an Australian accent, but everyone would have thought I was mad. Ah, what a silly world.

I've been in roles where I had to do a fair amount of public speaking. I've struggled with some of the same issues, and I think it's an important issue especially for women- speaking too fast often comes across as uncertainty, lack of gravitas, and the like. I'd also often get a sore throat after lecturing from holding too much tension.

I had some voice training with medical voice experts but found that of limited use - they tend to deal with a very different clientele, such as children with speech impairment. What would be much more useful is to find somebody who works with actors or radio professionals. A friend of mine is a radio programme editor and went through some of this in order to present her own broadcasts; the training she had sounded incredibly useful, such as learning to linger on each separate part of a sentence rather than rushing through towards some end-point and swallowing half of your sentence in the process.

@GrumpyPanda Sounds interesting. Something about that reminds me of the Alexander Technique, except for the voice as well as the body.

I agree about perceptions of rushed speech, I think mine stems from being the only female in a large group of male friends as a teen. We were all great friends but I think I struggled to be heard. And we keep hold of these early patterns even though we have outgrown them and they are no longer useful.

Why don't you try a few lessons with a voice teacher? Then you can see how much you can change.

I used to teach presentation skills and whilst I didn't try to change anyone's voice breathing can certainly change the intonation. You can also learn to slow down your speech very easily.

I wonder if there is a way to get rid of a nasal tone to your voice? That is what I hate most when I hear my voice!
I'm also told that I speak way too quickly and often softly (though that is mostly by my mother!).
Changing your voice sound like a great thing for confidence if you don't like yours the way it is.

I don't know who could help with this though - I'd like to find someone who knew how to make mine less nasal!

Thanks! I have searched around in the past out of interest and most stuff online seems to be aimed at people learning English as a second language or else wishing to learn RP.

I'd we were able to choose our voices I'd go for Joanna Lumley.

I'd quite like the voice of Fiona Bruce
Or one of the Scottish bbc presenters, the one that does the Olympics and events like that, forgotten her name

Of course you can change how you speak. TV and radio presenters speak completely differently when recording than they do when they're just chatting - no one speaks like a newsreader in everyday life!

One thing I'd suggest is to record yourself speaking - do one where you just talk about a topic that interests you and another where you read something - and listen back to yourself. Listen to how you phrase things, your ums and ahs etc, then try again and listen again. Do it lots of times and you'll slowly start to shape how you speak to something you prefer listening to.

I did drama for years but the best training I had for speaking was presenting a radio show. I wore headphones where I could hear my voice back as I was speaking and it really helped me clarify my speech, reduce filler words etc.

I like Jane Birkin, her voice is so warm and gentle.

That's interesting, might have look into that

The way you describe your speech sounds like Cluttering. Look it up and see what you think. If it is that, a speech therapist could help. But not with the tone of your voice, just the rate and clarity. (I’m an SLT, but Paeds only!)

If I could change my voice I would do so in an instant.
Constantly get told I have an odd voice or a strange accent. Even though I shouldn't have as always lived in the same area all my life. It's embarrassing and really impacts on my confidence.

Will look up cluttering! Fascinating stuff.

I wonder how the people closest to us would respond. I have a friend who altered her voice completely in her late teens as she simply disliked her local accent. That was very long ago and no one could ever imagine her being any different now. Perhaps the longer you leave it the more conspicuous it would feel, starting anew? It should be simple of course.

It would be best to start gently, I suppose, then it wouldn't take anyone by complete surprise.

It's very unlikely you'll just suddenly change from one way of speaking to another unless you're trying to put on accent or speaking in a very stilted way. Chances are over time you'll just get more comfortable with how you speak and that'll have a positive impact.

Speaking is a skill, much like singing. You can improve it just through practice, breath control and technique

Good idea op.
Lots of people have voice training to be able to carry out roles where it matters (Maggie Thatcher for one).
I have a friend who speaks really quickly, I love her to bits but have to really really concentrate to keep up as she rattles through whatever she wants to say, I always end an evening with her quite tired and needing a break. I won't say anything to her (maybe she thinks I speak really slowly 🤣).

It makes me wonder why some of us rush our speech, probably due to earlier experiences? I think I used to feel people might stop listening if i didnt hurry, which is sad:(
In that sense a huge part of my known voice is a result of anxiety, so this idea that we ought to preserve it out of some sort of cultural loyalty is really strange, now that I come to think of it.

Thanks for the tips. It probably would grow naturally if taken slowly.

I came on here to say that Margaret Thatcher strategically learned to speak in a lower range, to sound more masculine and authoritative.

I would love to slow down and speak more clearly.

Maggie Thatcher sounded false and her real voice broke through when she got excited. I would like to modify my voice (fairly strong regional accent and I don't like the tone) but I wouldn't like to sound unnatural. I don't think it's that easy.

Could you try some elocution exercises? Also I would recommend watching some TED talks by Julian Treasure. There’s one called How to speak so that people want to listen.

Will check out Julian Treasure, thanks!

Not a fan of Mrs Thatch but the idea of her getting excited both amuses and terrifies me

I can recommend a voice coach who works with people from all walks of life. I know her in a professional capacity.

I'd be happy to tell you her name if you PM me. I think she works online.