Baby next door crying for a few hours most nights - what would you do?

[PollyIndia]

So as the thread says, the 18 month old baby next door is left to cry in the middle of the night sometimes for up to 2 hours. Because he’s quite old to be crying like this, he winds himself up so it sounds like he’s going to be sick - he’s clearly so upset. It’s a different kind of crying from the newborn crying. I never complained about any of the newborn crying because that’s what new babies do, but this feels different. It’s been going on since Feb, so not continuously since he was a newborn. Both parents are NHS doctors, and I have spoken to them but they said there’s nothing they can do as he’s just being naughty and they don’t want to encourage him by bringing him into bed with them. She suggested I sleep downstairs on my sofa but that definitely isn’t an option for me! I guess I’m someone who never left my son to cry it out, even when I was sleep training him I went in and put my hand on his chest so he knew I was there. So I’m kind of at a loss. I have excellent earplugs but still I get woken up almost every night.
So my am I being unreasonable is: yes you are being unreasonable and you should suck it up, no you’re not being unreasonable and this is what I would do. Thank you for any tips and advice. I’m a lone parent and always have been so it’s just me, so it’s not even like I can send anyone else in to have a word with them. I also run my own business which takes a lot of headspace, so I’m struggling with the lack of sleep.

My son is 15 months and sleeps through but has has various nights due to teething or regressions where he's woken up crying and no way I could leave him for longer than a few mins. The main reason he'll wake in the middle of the night and cry now is overtiredness and it would be bloody cruel for me to leave him. The next day I've put him to bed early to help and it's solved the problem. It sounds like he is permanently overtired and need of some comfort.

If you want to spend time with your children there’s always universal credit 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oh yes, I forgot. Most female GPs work part time.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/07/28/just-one-four-gps-works-full-time-new-data-reveals/

So hopefully he is getting enough time with mum.

My NDN baby cried for hours every night for almost 2 years.

Nothing wrong with him and he did stop eventually. Not that it’s very helpful to you right now! I would raise it again in the hope they could move rooms or something.

Obviously if they are not with the child this is cruel. That being said they may be with the child. One of our children were like this, all the whole in my husband's arms or sometimes mine.

I also run my own business which takes a lot of headspace, so I’m struggling with the lack of sleep.

I'm sure two doctors feel the same.

Perhaps they could parent their child then and attempt to settle them or to move them to another room so that they don't cause more people to lose sleep over it? I know people are inherently selfish but fuck me they have at least an element of control over it but OP doesn't.

So hopefully he is getting enough time with mum..

And dad of course. They're equally important.

Yes but the point is female GPs work part time. Her doctor husband probably works full time. Hence less time with DS.

Why do you say that? Reporting you.

Yes but the point is female GPs work part time.
All of them?

Her doctor husband probably works full time. Hence less time with DS.

And less judgement apparently 🙄

“Most”.

You need to brush up on your reading comprehension, dear.

“Most”.

You need to brush up on your reading comprehension, dear.

No 'dear' you need read what you've written.

You omitted the word 'most' from your sentence.

It isn’t a fact at all, it’s simply your opinion.

Should those with demanding careers such as doctors just not be parents then?

This.

Should those with demanding careers such as doctors just not be parents then?

Apparently they should quit and claim benefits instead 🙄

Imagine if all doctors did that? The NHS is already in crisis.

Great plan. 😂

YANBU, OP. I agree with a pp - you need to make a nuisance of yourself here. The mother suggesting that you sleep on the sofa is testament to them not taking your compaint seriously.

When DS was this age, we had a few weeks of him waking up screaming and it was horrible. We also had a next door neighbour who was a cardiac specialist at the local hospital and I kept imagining that disturbing his sleep might lead to him making a really serious error at work! I know that's unlikely, but sleep deprivation has such a terrible impact on your rationality of thought. I used to pick DS up and take him downstairs, leaving all of the lights off, just holding him. No playing, no interaction. Still sending the message that it was nighttime, but at least I'd tried to minimise the disturbance to next door.

They sound like total arseholes.

'Quick social services, this poor baby is being raised by two doctors so must be neglected'.

Haha i know! Madness eh?

I'd do this. They should know better. Prolonged crying is not good for babies.
Naughty at 18 months old!! Fgs they have no understanding of being naughty. Plenty of evidence of poor and lazy parenting though.

Poor kid

Living in a semi, neighbours have 2 kids - 3y and I think 5y or 6y. The 3-year-old (born in lockdown) still cries every ingle night, for about 40 mins. He is crying for "mummy" (I can hear the word), but I clearly can hear her going to his room every night, yet still he cries. The other night the mummy there was screaming and crying for him to "stop, please stop, I'm tired". Can't judge her - 2 young children, full time job, house renovation going on, etc. I guess some kids are just like this, and there is nothing that can be done.