children and nudity

[uhio989]

I have one DS who is 5 and I was wondering what everyone's thoughts are when it comes to nudity. At the moment, I take him to the female changing rooms in a swimming pool if all other cubicles are busy. But not sure how long I can carry on doing this. Similarly, am still totally fine if he comes into the bathroom while am having a shower but again at what age do most people stop doing it? No idea how to navigate this, dont have any brothers and Dh has no recollection about him

But what happens in the mums are bothered? Or say a five year old girl is bothered about it? But my kid is also only just five and it's just not safe for him to go into the mens by himself. I've probably not thought this through yet.

I have 3 sons, they let you know when it’s time. Our pool is all mixed cubicles but most places that are single sex the general rule is from 8 years old they go into the male/female. The same with toilets although use your judgement(for example for us the dodgy mens park toilets were a no go).

Then you say, the pool rules state my dc is free to change in here until he is x years old.

Change as far away from the girls as possible, make sure he's not looking around and have a distraction for when you are changing.

@PuttingDownRoots thanks. thats what I've been doing the last couple of times. I really dont take him there for any other reason that we literally have no where else to change.

This must be a commonly occurring problem, so the swimming baths should be making alternatives so as many people are as comfortable as possible.
👉If you think of how many times this is an issue for people, you would think there would be some kind of solution even if it doesn't work for absolutely everyone.

I would not be comfortable with that. 5 is very little.

We have loads of cubicles so the parent takes the dc in to get changed

A pool I used a few years back used the team changing rooms during the young children lessons as "Mother & Son" and "Father & Daughter", with the same-sex parents and children using the normal men's and womens. Not a solution the rest of the time, but helped during the busiest periods of child changing.

At our local pool children are only allowed to change by themselves after a lesson over the age of 8, so I would take that as a guide that under that age I would not let him go into gents by himself.
Between now and then you might need to wait for a cubicle, or take him into the ladies loo to change rather than changing area?

Unless one of you are disabled you should not be using the disabled changing room.

We use two public pools near us. One is all cubicles mixed sex “changing village” type and that’s where we go for fun and changing is no issue. The other is much older, appears set up for school/sports groups - it’s attached to a senior school and has a female and male change with two cubicles in each and it’s where we go for lessons.. When I take dd (6)to change we go in the ladies and when DH takes her they go in the men’s. I have no issue with mums changing their young sons in the ladies, the way I see it is that if the kid is still young enough to need help changing then they they should be in with a parent. It’s the sex of the adult that matters not the child. DH says that DD is starting to complain about having to go into the men’s with him as “boys are smelly” but we’ve said until she can get her changed by herself then she goes with one of us. Oddly enough she has no complaints with boys in the girls change. It’s all very quick changing under a towel anyway. I haven’t noticed any boys staring - they’re all to busy getting dried off by their mums and forced into clothing while slightly damp.
The rule given by the swimming pools is 8 I understand and I can get why you might be worried sending an immature 8 year old boy into a male changing room on his own especially if it’s a general swim and not lessons.

@Silvergoldandglitter there's a lot of things that people shouldn't be doing in life but still do. I don't really care about that, I'll do whatever it takes to keep my kids safe, and if that means changing in the disabled toilets, I'll jolly well do it.

Yes agree. I'll do whatever I need to stop DS being raped. Although he has autism so I would be "allowed" to use the disabled room anyway. It's ridiculous the set up of gyms and pools though, so many places you cant even get to the pool without going through through the changing room🙄

I didn't say he should be going to change on his own. I merely said he was nearing the upper limit of what is appropriate. I think somewhere round 6/7 is the time to stop with being naked in public. His mum either needs to wait for a cubicle, or put him into a robe and change elsewhere.

The rule is usually 8 for public changing rooms. If they still need assistance after that then enquire about using a unisex disabled changing room. Up to then it's fine.

Having regularly holidayed in Germany I can tell you they aren't hung up on these things, so much less angst

This is a sensible approach. Being exposed to non-sexualised nudity is completely natural and good for children's emotional development and self-esteem around their own body image. Even better if you've got some wobbly bits.

People need to understand that very small children are allowed in the opposite sex room with a parent and there's not a reason to feel uncomfortable with little children. And to explain this to any of their older kids as well like, "He/she is with their mother/father so they can come in the other room but it's all right because they're just little."

DS10 still comes into bathroom when I'm having a shower in order to wash his teeth or whatever. He's started closing his eyes when he does it now tho. In terms of when I told him "don't come in yet I'm getting dressed", he was probably about 8.

DD16 sees me naked. I tell her "I've got nothing on but you can come in to get hairdryer/perfume/brush if you want"

They will let you know when they're not comfortable with it. They won't even need to tell you. It becomes obvious.

Well, I've got loads of those so they will be very well balanced emotionally 😁

But I do think it's important. I come from a country where nudity is pretty normal and accepted. I was shocked when I first came to the UK and saw people's approaches to their bodies. A body is a body, and if you only see (near) nude models and porn stars and only in some kind of (semi) sexual context it's very difficult to develop a secure body image.

My DGS is six and wants privacy to dress, however he happily come into my bedroom. When I'm dressing or to use the loo when I'm in the bath, but I have to cover my syes.

I would ask if there was a family room available, if not, I would take them into a cubicle so they don't see ladies/girls naked. And I would have him turn away when I was changing/have him in the cubicle next to me. I have 6yo and 3yo boys and I still shower with the 3yo but the 6yo doesn't seem me unclothed unless he bursts into my room (which happens far too frequently lol).

I wouldn't send a 5yo into the men's changing room on his own, I would be going crazy with stress about what they may be getting up to or heaven forbid any creeps in there. I think at 8yo I would be comfortable with it.

But I don't want my child to have a memory of my naked body haha. That seems traumatizing for a kid.

My 11 and 16yr DDs started bathing solo around 7/8ish when they were able to fully wash their own hair. But they'll still come in and speak to me if I'm in Bath/shower (but not the other way round) and they are often in my room stealing clothes/makeup when I'm getting ready and wandering round naked getting changed. Dad has to give the "towel coming off...." warning, they vacate sharpish.... No one needs to see that 😂

I've always been open about nudity, not being a prude etc, think it's easier with girls though.

Changing rooms in swimming pools usually have a notice stating 8 year olds must use sex appropriate changing rooms. I think by 8 most children can undress and get themselves into swim wear and dry and get dressed. At home your child will tell you if they are not comfortable if you are in the shower. My son's and my DD used to knock on my bedroom door from about 8. I never told them to do this they just did.