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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Something spooky is happening to me

63 replies

Senzi · 21/05/2023 22:29

I lost my mum a year ago and recently weird things are happening. A photograph of her on my sideboard keeps falling over. It’s not near a window or draught, I have no pets.

Also her favourite flowers - sunflowers are appearing wherever I go. I popped into several shops and the first thing I see are sunflowers, whether they are dried flowers or a picture of sunflowers, I’ve never noticed sunflowers anywhere before.

I’ve also noticed weird things like a book we used to read together is suddenly on my bookshelf (it wasn’t there before), or when I randomly turn in the radio the music is something not recent, but something personal to us.

I’m getting a bit freaked out, no-one else knows about these things. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

OP posts:
dontknowwhybutitsbad · 21/05/2023 22:34

I hope it’s your mum sending you little signs that she’s with you 🌻

im sure there will be people along in a minute to tell you that you’re crackers and it doesn’t mean anything (because AIBU is a brutal place) but I think if you’re taking comfort from it and it’s moving you through the grief process then lean into it.

Watchthedoormat · 21/05/2023 22:35

First thing I'd check is the frame/stand of the photo - is it damaged so unsteady?
Regarding the sunflowers it's very likely they have always been around just you never noticed but now you're creating a link. Likewise the music.
The book though? That's weird. Did you maybe take it from your mum's and forget about it- along with other personal items belonging her?

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 21/05/2023 22:36

Are you having a difficult time? Perhaps she just wants you to know she loves you.

Watchthedoormat · 21/05/2023 22:36

I am pretty woo though OP and like pp do hope it is your dm drawing close to you.

Notimeforaname · 21/05/2023 22:37

Sorry for your loss op.

Its sunflower season.
There'll be a reasonable explanation for the picture.

You're just hyper aware of anything that reminds you of her. Try not to be freaked out.

Speermint · 21/05/2023 22:39

It’s called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. Basically something is on your mind so you start seeing it more. Of course you aren’t actually seeing it more - you’re just noticing it more because it’s playing on your mind.

Suzi9989 · 21/05/2023 22:39

Take it as comfort that you miss her and you are very loved

Redebs · 21/05/2023 22:39

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Original poster
Senzi · 21/05/2023 22:43

Speermint · 21/05/2023 22:39

It’s called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. Basically something is on your mind so you start seeing it more. Of course you aren’t actually seeing it more - you’re just noticing it more because it’s playing on your mind.

I agree, that’s a good point, but the photo and book are unexplainable and it’s made me feel unnerved

OP posts:
jays · 21/05/2023 22:45

I didn’t really believe in ‘stuff like that, however… my mum died just before Christmas over a year ago, she was quite young and I wasn’t allowed to see her thanks to covid. Anyway not long after I was getting a train to meet a friend. I burst out crying in the train station, I was absolutely distraught and I remember saying mum, give me a sign! I don’t do stuff like that. Anyway our thing was always bunnies. Cards always had bunnies on, mugs etc and I remember a stuffed toy bunny hanging up by the ears in a charity shop window for months during covid and the day the shops opened I went running down to buy it and had to send her a picture that it had been rescued 😂 (you get the drift). I got off the train and on the platform was a pink toy bunny. I couldn’t believe it but I put it down to coincidence. I met my friend about 5 mins walk from the station and we had a coffee and she walked me back to the station. On the ground wad a Christmas card that had two bunnies on it, My friend nearly keeled over and I was so shocked. When I got off the train I found a little pink heart trinket with the letter M on it (mum). I’ve never had anything like that since but it was just so much that I can’t doubt it meant something. At that point I was barley leaving the house so it really was quite something.

SchoolTripDrama · 21/05/2023 22:47

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Don't be so disrespectful HmmBiscuit

JMSA · 21/05/2023 22:54

I LOVE the thought of it being your lovely mum Smile
But is it not a bit like women who want to be pregnant suddenly noticing prams everywhere?
Sorry OP, I don't mean to rain on your parade! And I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum.
FlowersFlowersFlowers

Ineedtoloseweightnow · 21/05/2023 23:09

I had similar when my grandpa passed, so far he’s the only person i’ve lost in my life which at almost 40 that’s so lucky. I don’t think it really matters if these things are real, coincidental or a figment of your imagination. If all these little things make u feel closer to your mum or a sense of her being around you then that’s all that matters. I do think for example when you split with a partner all you see is couples, when you are ttc it’s babies so maybe our minds pick up on things we are thinking about. I personally found comfort in these things and hope they give you that too.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 21/05/2023 23:10

OP, if you’re taking comfort from this then continue to do so. I really do believe there are ways our loved ones can communicate once they have passed and this does sound like your mum.

I’d speak to her when you see the picture fallen over. Tel her you know she’s making contact.

Ineedtoloseweightnow · 21/05/2023 23:11

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Why upsetting? If folk don’t want to read it then scroll on by.

Anonymouseposter · 21/05/2023 23:15

I can’t see how this would upset anyone. I have had a lot of bereavement and I would like to think there could be something in it which is comforting. I do know that it’s probably the effect of being more aware of certain things because they’re on your mind. Neither of these options is upsetting.

Timeforchangeithink · 21/05/2023 23:26

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Well surely they can pass on by, the title is quite self explanatory. Some people may also take comfort from it.. Not up to us to police who reads and posts

Scuttlingherbert · 21/05/2023 23:32

I've experienced something like this and it gave me great comfort.
I love ladybirds and after my ex-boyfriend died, ladybirds would appear at poignant moments. Some probably were coincidences but some really seemed striking. On the day of his funeral there was a ladybird in my Dad's car (who I travelled there with) and it was not ladybird season, it was a time of year they are usually hibernating. I never saw a ladybird in his car any other time, it wasn't like it was a ladybirdy car.
On my first birthday after his death, when it was still very raw, I was staying at a friend's. She never got bugs or spiders in her flat but on my birthday a ladybird appeared at midnight in the bathroom and stayed for the whole day and disappeared around midnight when my birthday ended.

One year on the anniversary his mum was upset with me and she was apparently thinking about it while in her garden. She saw lots of ladybirds fly past and it made her decide not to be upset with me anymore.

Also a few days after his funeral I had a long drive back home after staying with my family and it was a journey I was dreading. I had my iPod on shuffle and every single song that came on were ones he liked (even though it was full of songs he didn't like). I also saw 2 different buzzards at various points, watching me drive past. He used to buy roast chickens for a buzzard in our garden.

PinkButtercups · 21/05/2023 23:36

I think it's just your mum sending you signs so you know she is there and looking out for you.

Try not to be freaked out by it x

PinkButtercups · 21/05/2023 23:38

I've also noticed (and if you don't agree or think it's nonsense scroll on by) when I feel a particular way a little robin always appears on my fence.

Mirabai · 22/05/2023 00:00

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Your post could be upsetting to some specifically the OP but that hadn’t stopped you. So how concerned are you really about upsetting people?

DeadSea95 · 22/05/2023 00:15

I believe in getting signs / messages when you need them, in a format you understand.

Lot's of cynical people on here usually. However, if it helps you cope that's all that matters.

LuluBlakey1 · 22/05/2023 00:23

So what is the 'spooky' explanation? Your mum's ghost/spirit is knocking over her framed photo in your house and she has been to a bookshop and ghost-lifted a copy of a book you both liked, brought it to your house and put it on a shalf, and somehow influences the music played on the radio , and has influenced people to grow/shops to stock sunflowers along routes you travel?

It's not 'spooky' at all, it's mishap, accident and coincidences and you are finding meaning where there is none.

DeadSea95 · 22/05/2023 00:26

LuluBlakey1 · 22/05/2023 00:23

So what is the 'spooky' explanation? Your mum's ghost/spirit is knocking over her framed photo in your house and she has been to a bookshop and ghost-lifted a copy of a book you both liked, brought it to your house and put it on a shalf, and somehow influences the music played on the radio , and has influenced people to grow/shops to stock sunflowers along routes you travel?

It's not 'spooky' at all, it's mishap, accident and coincidences and you are finding meaning where there is none.

I don't mean this as an insult, but do you have ASD?

suburbophobe · 22/05/2023 00:27

Your mum is letting you know she is there with you. Embrace it.