Page 3 | Would you be concerned ?

ManorHall7 · 2023-05-21T07:14:24+00:00

We have neighbours that are regularly leaving their 8 and 5 year old alone. This week 3 times however 1 time only for about 5 minutes it appears whilst one was coming home from work and one going to work in evening. Would you be concerned ? And do anything ?

Sapphire387 · 21/05/2023 20:15

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 20:05

No neighbours helping. Family live 5 minutes away not there. The initial neighbour who spoke to me originally has some timings captured on their cctv. (I don't need a debate about that) yesterday apparently they were left whilst parents went down the road to another neighbour for 20 minutes.

I don't think an 8 year old in charge of a 5 year old is sensible. I wasn't immediately going to call social services -but having grown up in care I wish my people had been more mindful of my situation. Perhaps the school is a better option

Wtf is wrong with you people - now another neighbour is stalking them via cctv?! Did they watch the footage from the entire 24 hours to see if another family member turned up or left? This is ridiculous tbh. If you are genuinely concerned, why don't you try talking to the parents themselves?

nofluffsgiven · 21/05/2023 20:22

I have 5 kids and my oldest two are 12 & 13 (nearly 14) and I started leaving them at home for occasion trip to the shop since they started secondary school. I figured that if they're old enough to walk to get the bus in the morning and walk from town to school (about 1km) then they're old enough for a bit of freedom. I would never leave my 8 year old or 5 year old with them though. Leaving a 5 year old for any amount of time is shocking imo

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 20:37

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 20:05

No neighbours helping. Family live 5 minutes away not there. The initial neighbour who spoke to me originally has some timings captured on their cctv. (I don't need a debate about that) yesterday apparently they were left whilst parents went down the road to another neighbour for 20 minutes.

I don't think an 8 year old in charge of a 5 year old is sensible. I wasn't immediately going to call social services -but having grown up in care I wish my people had been more mindful of my situation. Perhaps the school is a better option

If you're neighbours CCTV is so focused on their house then your neighbour is breaching data rules around CCTV...

Pixiedust1234 · 21/05/2023 20:45

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 20:37

If you're neighbours CCTV is so focused on their house then your neighbour is breaching data rules around CCTV...

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No comment regarding a 5yr old being left? Nothing?

Original poster

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 21:07

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 20:37

If you're neighbours CCTV is so focused on their house then your neighbour is breaching data rules around CCTV...

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No they have had it checked by police prior to installation. I am not watching them. It's come about the last week as neighbour is concerned I noticed once they had said it. I am in and out and working.

But it's concerning 🤷🏼‍♀️. I mean they could be leaving them longer etc etc neighbour isn't watching them constantly

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Original poster

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 21:09

Sapphire387 · 21/05/2023 20:15

Wtf is wrong with you people - now another neighbour is stalking them via cctv?! Did they watch the footage from the entire 24 hours to see if another family member turned up or left? This is ridiculous tbh. If you are genuinely concerned, why don't you try talking to the parents themselves?

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They aren't the sort of people to approach and I think this is why the other neighbour hasn't either.

I am obviously wrong to have genuine concerns.i leave my 11 year old for short periods but wouldn't leave my 7yr old l.
Especially if they are bickering etc it takes minutes for something to go wrong

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MayBeeJuneSoon · 21/05/2023 21:10

ThinWomansBrain · 21/05/2023 08:20

How much time do you devote to twitching your net curtains?

'Net' curtains??

Showing your age...surely nobody has those anymore?

Gymmum82 · 21/05/2023 21:20

15 minutes is fine. Hours less so. I leave my 9 and 6 year olds alone for short periods up to 10-15 minutes for similar reasons. They have a phone. They know how to call me. I know what they are doing and I trust them to be fine. Usually just sat watching their iPads.
She might be on FaceTime to them the whole time she’s gone until her husband is home. You don’t know that

Thegoodbadandugly · 21/05/2023 21:35

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 10:15

I said once it was 5 minutes the other times longer. Now how can any child be safely locked inside their own house 🙈🙈🙈. ??

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If the children are locked in the house what happens if there is a fire? Sorry it's a safeguarding risk for me.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 22:29

Pixiedust1234 · 21/05/2023 20:45

No comment regarding a 5yr old being left? Nothing?

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Commented on that before but ok

Original poster

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 11:08

Gymmum82 · 21/05/2023 21:20

15 minutes is fine. Hours less so. I leave my 9 and 6 year olds alone for short periods up to 10-15 minutes for similar reasons. They have a phone. They know how to call me. I know what they are doing and I trust them to be fine. Usually just sat watching their iPads.
She might be on FaceTime to them the whole time she’s gone until her husband is home. You don’t know that

But they are alone ? Facetimes and ipads are no good if a fire starts no? I 🤔 it's too young sorry

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Nordicrain · 22/05/2023 11:09

For 5 mins at a time? I don't see an issue.

Thatladdo · 22/05/2023 11:40

Pottedpalm · 21/05/2023 08:29

Well I imagine they have phones and are checking in with each other so they know the other is close to home.
Maybe you could offer to be a first port of call for help in the unlikely event os something happening in those few minutes.

This would certainly be the neighbourly, decent thing to do but not as exiting as reporting to SS and then being able to further twitch your curtains everythime a car pulls up!

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 13:27

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 11:08

But they are alone ? Facetimes and ipads are no good if a fire starts no? I 🤔 it's too young sorry

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Ah of course
The many, many fires that start all the time

It's up to 15 minutes. If on FT and a fire started, child directed to leave the house and wait outside until parent returns. In those 15 minutes either parent who just left can return or parent returning will be back because its such a short time. Parent can also call 999.

Not much difference to being asleep when a fire starts and not noticing straight away

tolerable · 22/05/2023 13:56

(always chance i could be wrong)
seem to think-there is not actual law on age children can be left alone. You get to do your own risk assesment/age appropriation\trust thing
The issue(turns to neglect?/unlawful)IF something awful happens....

Original poster

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:45

Thatladdo · 22/05/2023 11:40

This would certainly be the neighbourly, decent thing to do but not as exiting as reporting to SS and then being able to further twitch your curtains everythime a car pulls up!

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Again i hace suggested social services just advice. It's not 5 minutes that was once

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Original poster

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:46

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 13:27

Ah of course
The many, many fires that start all the time

It's up to 15 minutes. If on FT and a fire started, child directed to leave the house and wait outside until parent returns. In those 15 minutes either parent who just left can return or parent returning will be back because its such a short time. Parent can also call 999.

Not much difference to being asleep when a fire starts and not noticing straight away

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I am pleased you could stay calm and direct your childreb who would probably be panicking out of the house ? What if there is some other accident ? How can they be driving as suggested by other posters and on ipads and video calls ?

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Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 22/05/2023 16:06

OP you clearly don't think you're being unreasonable so I don't know why you're asking? Were you just wanting people to pile on and say how wonderful you are and you should call social services asap. You also clearly don't like them from the way you talk about them and know doubt will find plenty of other things about them/their parenting style to report them about in the coming years.

For a few minutes I think it's fine and as long as they're not leaving them with candles burning/gas hob on, the hysterical 'what about a fire' brigade are frankly ridiculous.

And as far as being on calls whilst driving, there is this wonderful invention called handsfree, which would allow them to chat to the kids until the other parent gets back.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 16:50

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:46

I am pleased you could stay calm and direct your childreb who would probably be panicking out of the house ? What if there is some other accident ? How can they be driving as suggested by other posters and on ipads and video calls ?

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"Get out the front/back door" is hardly having to work anything out. And it's only as much as panicking in person...

People Facetime and talk whilst driving all the time...

Original poster

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 16:54

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 16:50

"Get out the front/back door" is hardly having to work anything out. And it's only as much as panicking in person...

People Facetime and talk whilst driving all the time...

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Really ? Never see it when I driving luckily.

Your undermining the situation. It could be serious that's why I posted it's not just 5 minutes here and there.

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Original poster

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 16:56

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 22/05/2023 16:06

OP you clearly don't think you're being unreasonable so I don't know why you're asking? Were you just wanting people to pile on and say how wonderful you are and you should call social services asap. You also clearly don't like them from the way you talk about them and know doubt will find plenty of other things about them/their parenting style to report them about in the coming years.

For a few minutes I think it's fine and as long as they're not leaving them with candles burning/gas hob on, the hysterical 'what about a fire' brigade are frankly ridiculous.

And as far as being on calls whilst driving, there is this wonderful invention called handsfree, which would allow them to chat to the kids until the other parent gets back.

I again didn't ask for any social services involvement. And if you read the thread it's not just a few minutes. Why is it acceptable for hands free,it does nothing and it's not just fires it's any number of things.

I guess that's why sometimes social services do become involved -luckily

The neighbour phoned the NSPCC for advice

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Thebigblueballoon · 23/05/2023 01:09

I’m not sure why you bothered to post this thread. You’re clearly not interested in any view that doesn’t validate your desire to get your neighbours into trouble.

oddlycurious · 23/05/2023 01:15

Why are they not 'approachable' OP? Or you could put a note in their door as anonymous just to say you are concerned and happy to keep a look out if need be whenever an emergency arises and they need to leave the kids alone. Just so they have some sort of heads up and then have a chance to sort it before bloody social services or police are involved :)

Hairday · 23/05/2023 01:22

I can't understand why you have time to watch them so closely but no time to offer to babysit. Either mind your own business or make them your business. Contacting the authorities should be the last resort.

Original poster

ManorHall7 · 23/05/2023 02:33

Hairday · 23/05/2023 01:22

I can't understand why you have time to watch them so closely but no time to offer to babysit. Either mind your own business or make them your business. Contacting the authorities should be the last resort.

Read the thread I haven't been watching them only 3 times I have noticed.

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